Introduction: respectful seeker

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Greetings, good people of Landover Baptist Church -

I am here as a humble information seeker because the True Christians of Landover Baptist Church seem to be the only ones who believe what they say they believe and behave accordingly.

Although I have read the Bible multiple times and consistently score well on Landover's Bible quizzes, I respectfully seek your help clarifying the occasional point on which even well-meaning followers misinterpret scripture.

The church I grew up in did not believe the Bible literally; nor did they teach it fully. So I was rather surprised when a very dear friend of mine, who calls himself a Tea Party Christian, recently told me that I must believe the Bible literally. That started me reading the text more seriously and more frequently than I had ever done before.

However, my good-hearted, well-meaning friend does not appear to believe what he claims he believes.

For example, he believes that space travel occurs exactly as NASA and others describe, despite the apparent contradictions with the Biblical "snow globe" model of the universe (Genesis), in which the earth is flat (a square circle, if you consider all of the verses describing it), the sky is hard, and outer space consists of water rather than vacuum, as scientists claim. Although my friend is a creationist, he believes that the earth and the universe are billions of years old. Furthermore, he rejects slavery as an objective moral good, and he claims to believe that men and women are equal.

You should have heard him screaming that I don't know the Bible when I explained to him that the Bible clearly says that women are worth less than men (1/2 to 3/5, depending on age), that women are the property of men (too many verses to list), and that men can sell their daughters into sexual slavery (Exodus 21:7). He waffled something about the Bible being literally true because those words were literally on the page (!) and then started screaming threats at me. Being quite a bit taller than he and a lot more muscular, I did not hesitate to reply that several Old Testament verses clearly state that God's law is unchanging and forever binding (Deuteronomy 7:9, 11:1, 11:16-28; Chronicles 16:15; Psalm 119:151-2 and 60; Ecclesiastes 12:13; Malachi 4:4, to name a few) and that Jesus Himself and Paul both confirm this (for example, Matthew 5:18-19; Luke 16:17, 19:16-17; Romans 2:13, 3:31). Even if you believe Jesus and Paul when they imply that the law is no longer binding (Luke 16:16; Romans 3:28, 6:14, 7:4 and 6, 10:4; Galatians 3:13 and 24-25, 5:18; Ephesians 2:15; and Colossians 2:14), you must believe that the law is binding forever because that's what the Bible says.

Like the church people I grew up with, my poor friend lives in denial of his bad behaviors and blames his victims and everyone around him for what he himself does wrong. I suspect that his inconsistent behavior is due, at least in part, to the mismatch between what he claims to believe and what he really does believe. So, even though he is quite right that the Bible clearly says that one must believe it literally, without interpretation, I am concerned that the rest of his information may be suspect and would rather ask you True Christians when I have a question regarding the Bible--provided that it not be an imposition upon you.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Greetings Dr. Clyffe. I am reminded of Jimmy Cliff who was a great regge practitioner but you spell your name differently. I welcome you to this forum even though I am not exactly a member here. I am a Christian but not a Baptist though I am well tolerated by the white people of this web site. They have come to love me for my natty dreads and my progressive opinions but I am occasionally rebuked for expressing my beliefs. This is a very friendly and Christian site and they are very welcoming to all Christians. Since you are white you will be welcomed here by these Baptists.

Jah Guide
Trevor

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Welcome young man. It excites me to see a brother in Christ come to our humble forum with absolute faith and trust in the Word of God!

2 Timothy 3:16-17 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works."

Tell us, what reprehensible sin brought you to your once filthy knees in front of Christ? There was certainly a moment when you realized you needed His help to make you normal again?

You can be frank and admit that you were once lost scum, doomed for the eternal thermite fires of hell. Tell all and witness to the lost.

Myself, it was the choice to be a gay. 30 years of anal lust and a nearly ruined rectum. Thousands and thousands of anonymous fag trysts. The diseases, the homelessness, dis-owned by family and friends as I passed my body around to any mud-packer that would let me reciprocate the colon assault, and give me a bed for the night.

It had to change. When I knelt in despair in front of Jesus and felt His warm love completely cover and fill me, I was truly happy for the first time in my life. I wish the same for you, friend!

In Him

[VictoryOS]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Welcome, Brother Clyffe. Feel free to ask any questions you may have about the Bible. Our Pastors and menfolk are very knowledgeable on anything Biblical and will be more than happy to help you in your Walk with the Lord.

Please tell us more about yourself. Have you taken a wife yet? Do you have any sons?

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Nikola Tesla, voracious sodomite, foul wizard, and foreigner to boot...
Just look at that smug bastard! He thinks he's better than Jesus!! NOBODY is better than Jesus!!
Your choice to use his likeness as your avatar has raised a red flag, friend. Care to explain your motives?

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Greetings, all! Thank you for the warm welcome!

Alas, I am not that young--57 isn't exactly a spring chicken. I'm old enough to remember computer punch cards better than I wish I did.

I have two fine sons--an engineer and a white collar crime investigator--but, alas, my lovely wife passed away 10 years ago. Her pie was beyond compare--hence my choice of icon for this post.

I believe that, in my introduction, I forgot to mention my favorite Bible quotes, which I think would make a nice footer for my posts:

Genesis 11:7-9
Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech..... Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth.

1 Corinthians 1:27
God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.

1 Corinthians 14:33
God is not the author of confusion.

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Nikola Tesla, voracious sodomite, foul wizard, and foreigner to boot...
Just look at that smug bastard! He thinks he's better than Jesus!! NOBODY is better than Jesus!!
Your choice to use his likeness as your avatar has raised a red flag, friend. Care to explain your motives?

Greetings! I fail to see the resemblance, although I can see why you disapprove of this young rake. My avatar is clearly more distinguished in appearance. He is some distant great-great or great-great-great uncle; however, no one in the family knows his name. All we have is that nice, old photograph.

[Basilissa]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Greetings, good people of Landover Baptist Church -

Hello and and than you for your proper (even if on a bit lengthy side) introduction!

For example, he believes that space travel occurs exactly as NASA and others describe, despite the apparent contradictions with the Biblical "snow globe" model of the universe (Genesis), in which the earth is flat (a square circle, if you consider all of the verses describing it), the sky is hard, and outer space consists of water rather than vacuum, as scientists claim.

We encounter such false Christians daily here, my friend!

Although my friend is a creationist, he believes that the earth and the universe are billions of years old. Furthermore, he rejects slavery as an objective moral good, and he claims to believe that men and women are equal.

Now, that's what I call hypocrisy at its finest - claiming to believe in the Bible yet rejecting its contents!

Even if you believe Jesus and Paul when they imply that the law is no longer binding (Luke 16:16; Romans 3:28, 6:14, 7:4 and 6, 10:4; Galatians 3:13 and 24-25, 5:18; Ephesians 2:15; and Colossians 2:14), you must believe that the law is binding forever because that's what the Bible says.

My dear, do not forget Matthew 5:17-20:

17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus might have allowed people to skip some minor dietary laws, but aside from that, the Old Testament laws need to be followed, all of them and all of the time.

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Hello and and than you for your proper (even if on a bit lengthy side) introduction!



We encounter such false Christians daily here, my friend!



Now, that's what I call hypocrisy at its finest - claiming to believe in the Bible yet rejecting its contents!



My dear, do not forget Matthew 5:17-20:

17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus might have allowed people to skip some minor dietary laws, but aside from that, the Old Testament laws need to be followed, all of them and all of the time.

Dear Ma'am -

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply!

I thank you for supplying further Bible verses confirming that Jesus came to uphold the law, not abolish it. And you are bringing up the exact issues why I am here.

We know that Jesus' sacrifice obviates our need to practice animal sacrifice, so He fulfilled that law once and forever. So far, so good.

But I still have so many more questions...

Thank you for mentioning the dietary laws because I had a question about them. For example, I seem to recall seeing badges attesting that several forum members eat pork, but the lovely Miss Johnson has a "God hates shrimp" banner in some of her older posts. So, it sounds like pork is OK for Christians to eat, but shellfish and other sea creatures that do not have scales remain an abomination unto the LORD.

Similarly, Paul warns us that women are to keep their heads covered for the sake of the angels (paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 11:10). Is that not because the Old Testament says that some of the angels found human women comely and thus came down and lay with them, spawning a race of giants? So it would seem as though the Muslims have it right (!) and that America, where ladies no longer seem to wear veils or hats on a regular basis, should be overrun with giants...!

I welcome your information; thanks in advance for clarifying these Biblical passages for me.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Dr. Clyffe,

I must admit that in the midst of atheist teenage trolling and persecution your Introduction shows real potential and a humble commitment to the Cause of Jesus and to the Eternal Truths™ embedded in the Bible. It is not often Jesus guides to us a person who has the understanding of the Holistic nature of the KJV Bible.

2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

I'll be most interested in seeing your contributions to our subforums dealing the Creation Science, Bible Study and false Christians. Please accept my Welcome to God's Favorite Discussion Board!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Dr. Clyffe,

I must admit that in the midst of atheist teenage trolling and persecution your Introduction shows real potential and a humble commitment to the Cause of Jesus and to the Eternal Truths™ embedded in the Bible. It is not often Jesus guides to us a person who has the understanding of the Holistic nature of the KJV Bible.

2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

I'll be most interested in seeing your contributions to our subforums dealing the Creation Science, Bible Study and false Christians. Please accept my Welcome to God's Favorite Discussion Board!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Oh, dear Sir -

I have seen the trolls myself as I've read through the forum (not all of it yet, but I've been "lurking" for years before finally introducing myself this evening). They are so incredibly rude and inarticulate that one wonders what they hope to accomplish. Do they really think that name-calling and potty-mouth is going to change minds? I shake my head, Sir...I shake my head.

After all the misinformation I have received from churches through the years, it is refreshing finally to have a source of pure information. Landover Baptist is performing Wonderful Work, and I fully support your mission. I am grateful to be a recipient of your forum members' time, effort, and consideration.

Thank you!

[Basilissa]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Dear Ma'am -

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply!

I thank you for supplying further Bible verses confirming that Jesus came to uphold the law, not abolish it. And you are bringing up the exact issues why I am here.

We know that Jesus' sacrifice obviates our need to practice animal sacrifice, so He fulfilled that law once and forever. So far, so good.

But I still have so many more questions...

Thank you for mentioning the dietary laws because I had a question about them. For example, I seem to recall seeing badges attesting that several forum members eat pork, but the lovely Miss Johnson has a "God hates shrimp" banner in some of her older posts. So, it sounds like pork is OK for Christians to eat, but shellfish and other sea creatures that do not have scales remain an abomination unto the LORD.

There certainly are some complications. On one hand, Acts 15:20 tells us to abstain from blood and things that are strangled:

Acts 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.

On the other hand, Acts 10:9-16 gives us permission to eat things previously deemed unclean, specifically:

Acts 10:12 Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.

The problem with shrimp is they are not fourfooted, not really beasts, not really creeeping, and definitely not fowls of the air. Hence, as there is some debate to whether shrimp eating ban has been lifter or not, it is safer to avoid them.

If you have already bought some shrimp and do not want it to go to waste, you can always serve it to your guests - God allows to give your guests stuff you wouldn't touch:

Deuteronomy 14:21 Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God.

...I tend to include roadkill in the "dieth of itself" category.

Similarly, Paul warns us that women are to keep their heads covered for the sake of the angels (paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 11:10). Is that not because the Old Testament says that some of the angels found human women comely and thus came down and lay with them, spawning a race of giants? So it would seem as though the Muslims have it right (!) and that America, where ladies no longer seem to wear veils or hats on a regular basis, should be overrun with giants...!

I think you will be pleasantly surprised to know that we ladies of Landover wear modest and appropriate attire.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. I hope that you will take a look at the treasure trove within the threads offered here. Great wisdom can be gleaned, dripping with the Holy Spirit.

Also feel free to ignore the atheists, false Christians, queers, islamofascists and demons lurking here, hoping to lead you astray.

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

There certainly are some complications. On one hand, Acts 15:20 tells us to abstain from blood and things that are strangled:

Acts 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.

On the other hand, Acts 10:9-16 gives us permission to eat things previously deemed unclean, specifically:

Acts 10:12 Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.

The problem with shrimp is they are not fourfooted, not really beasts, not really creeping, and definitely not fowls of the air. Hence, as there is some debate to whether shrimp eating ban has been lifter or not, it is safer to avoid them.

If you have already bought some shrimp and do not want it to go to waste, you can always serve it to your guests - God allows to give your guests stuff you wouldn't touch:

Deuteronomy 14:21 Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God.

...I tend to include roadkill in the "dieth of itself" category.

I think you will be pleasantly surprised to know that we ladies of Landover wear modest and appropriate attire.

Oh, dear Ma'am, I am not surprised at all that the Landover Ladies are modestly and appropriately dressed; I simply wasn't clear whether that included covering the hair.

Thanks so much for your information regarding shellfish. After your response, I must agree--why not play it safe and avoid anything so questionable?

I hadn't considered roadkill; however, I have one friend in South Carolina who will be disappointed...and some friends of his whom I know will be relieved.

You are a National Treasure, dear Lady!

[Dr. Warden Clyffe]

Re: Introduction: respectful seeker

(I just set Landover as an exception to my pop-up blocker, so I should be able to send and receive PMs now. Good night, all!)