A humble reintroduction.

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Greetings again, Brothers and Sisters in Christ -

It is with a heavy and humble, yet hopeful, heart that I find myself limping back to this most Godly forum, having been led astray from the path of True Light. Although I am technically a Forum Member here, I feel moved by the Holy Spirit to post a proper (re)introduction as it has been an unforgivably long time since I have fellowshipped with you all.

(My original introduction can be found here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=94845)

As God warns us in Leviticus 26:30, I have (at my husband's insistence) fallen back into the ghastly sin of Catholicism with all its blasphemous candles, incense, chantings, and general idolatry ... and because of this, I have paid the price of God's wrath and have been unable to produce any Soldiers of Christ. In obeying my sinful, wayward, and Guinness-quaffing hubby, I have not put our Glorious Creator first as He has demanded (Matthew 22:37).

After hours upon hours of fervent prayer in my prayer closet (which now doubles as storage for Mr. McIrish's plentiful stash of Jameson - not much room in there, but I still manage to get down on my knees in service to the Lord!), I felt compelled to return to God's Favorite Fold here at Landover. My dearest wish is to become pleasing in the eyes of our Sweet Savior and be forgiven of my mackeral-snapper ways. Jeremiah 3:22 gives me hope ... even though I am a weak-willed, silly-hearted, man-destroying daughter of Eve.

I am prepared to tithe, pray, bake, obey, kneel and repent as I have never done before! Please, Brothers and Sisters, lift me up in prayer to the LORD that I might someday be worthy of His Grace and your friendship.

Most Humbly Yours,
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

[Alvin Moss]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

I bid you a hearty rewelcome, friend. The Book of Jeremiah has a number of verses which apply directly to your sinful backsliding. In Jeremiah 3:22 we see the word of God, as He sayeth: Return ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings...

As the Lord forgives, so must we. I believe that a full accounting of the sin you have involved yourself with these last months should be included in your apology. Please tell us of your tour through the bowels of idol worshipping and how you came to want to come back to Jesus.

God Bless!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Welcome back dear. I'm sorry to hear you were seduced back by the demonic forces of the Papist cult. They use powerful magic indeed, and we know Jesus will punish them for that (Revelation 18:23). Of course they have no one to blame but themselves, as they have been warned (Jeremiah 27:9-10). Jesus really, really hates when people use their magic spells on others, and the Papists use their magic spells to convince people they're eating the body of Jesus when in reality they're eating a wheat cracker. And they KNOW this, but still the spell is so strong they learn to pretend they are eating Jesus anyway. Anyway, welcome back. As long as you didn't utter the unforgivable sin (Matthew 12:31-32), you might yet have hope that Jesus will bless your marriage, and in turn bless your hostile womb, and provide with you the means for Salvation (1 Timothy 2:15).

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Mr. Moss, your kind words warm the cockles of my imperfect heart; thank you for such a generously kind welcome, sir!

As a staunch Catholic, Mr. McIrish demanded that I attend 6am Mass with him every day. (Sometimes he was still tipsy from his previous evening's indulgence with the Bailey's, but I digress.) We would sit in the pew, then stand up, then kneel, stand again, sit down, kneel, repeat -honestly, it was like an aerobic workout- for what seemed like hours.

I was forced to juggle beads while worshipping Jesus' mother, Mary. We had to line up while the priest fed us crackers; one time I wondered aloud where the cheese was (I do so enjoy a nice, smoky Gouda!), but my husband cuffed me upside the head so hard that I nearly choked.

Mr. McIrish and I partook of the dreadful act of procreation almost every evening (usually after his nightly libations - he cannot perform the distasteful deed unless he's "in his cups," God bless him!), but alas ... there has been no issue from our marriage. I have been distraught thinking of my poor husband's dead, wasted seed-babies, remembering Romans 6:23; their deaths are due to MY sins.

Upon realizing this, I dropped to my knees in tears, begging Jesus for His forgiveness. Then I heard a voice calling me to come out of my prayer closet, and I was jubilant ... until I realized it wasn't our Lord speaking to me, but rather Mr. McIrish ordering me to get in the kitchen and make him a turkey pot pie (of course, I obeyed).


Really, it has been through my barren womb that Jesus has spoken to me.

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Mrs. Etheldreda, how lovely to speak with you again! Your hope-filled welcome is such a soothing balm on my troubled soul! Thank You, Jesus, for using my unfit uterus to guide me back to Your favorite forum and these Godly people!

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Greetings Mrs. McIrish! I would like to join the white people in welcoming you to this forum. I am not exactly a member of this forum but the white people are very tolerant of me as long as I do not talk too much about Jah Rastafari. I participate in the doings of this site as part of my study of white people in Babylon and I am a student here in Wisconsin where we just elected Senator Bernie Sanders to be our candidate for President.

I have heard very much talk about the Black Irish but all of the Irish people I see in pictures are white. What have you white people done to the Black people on your island? My own experience has been that there are always very many Black people on islands such as my own home of Jamaica and also Trinidad and the Virgin Islands. Why are there no Black people in your pictures?

Jah Guide!
Trevor

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Hello, Trevor -

Unfortunately I am experiencing some difficulty understanding your nonsensical post; perhaps you are using a jigaboo dialect? Landover Baptist offers an ex-negroid conversion academy, I believe. You may have to steal a few more car stereos and televisions to afford it, but what's mere money when compared to Salvation from the burning fires of hell?

My husband may be Irish by descent, but he and I are both proud, full-blooded Americans, born in the USA, who have never visited Ireland or any other third-world country. The Irish are scary enough as it is; I wouldn't care to see a black one!

In Christ,
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

[Harsha Shah]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Yes, Mrs. Irish. I am Harsha Shah and I was joining this forum when you were absent. I am very pleased to meet you. I am trying to learn about the different religions as I am teaching the subject of RME that is religious and moral education to schoolchildren. Yes. I am hoping that I am not offending you but I must tell you that I am not a christian but a secular jainist, but I am seeing that many things are shared By our religions, the non-violence or ahimsa and the chastity. Yes. I am trying to say yes to everything, not to accept but to acknowledge. I am thinking that this might offend you. yes. I am sorry.

I am thinking that you have chosen two very different christianities. Yes? I hope I am not offending you by asking but what made you go back and forth with these religions? Are they not essantially the same? I am of course referring to the story of the blind men and the elephant. One of them is feeling the trunk and taking it as a hose. Another one is touching the feet and thinking that they are colums. Yes. Can it be true that the catholics and the christians over here are looking at different aspects of the same thing? Yes? I am trying to look at the whole world and not only at the elephant but I am afraid that with more perspective there is less and less room for religion remaining. Yes. I am sorry if I was offending you. Yes.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Wait! Blind men are fondling and buggering elephants in the Hindoo religion? Who could have guessed?

Anyone can see how silly the idea of God wanting people to worship monkeys is. We don't even need to hear the words of Jesus to know you're on the wrong tracks. It's just silly. And these crazy stories about people being farted into existence through the belly buttons of a talking elephant or something!

God didn't teach us a lesson about listening to the wrong creatures in the Garden of Eden for nothing!

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Hello, Harsha -

So you are a secular janitor, yet you are allowed to teach children on religion and morality? I can only imagine that for you "religion" includes the evil wizardry of flying carpets (forbidden as per Leviticus 26:1 and Leviticus 19:31) and "morality" includes when or when not to use copious amounts of that odorous curry you dot-heads are so fond of (try myrrh instead! Song of Solomon 1:13).

I share in Brother Redeemed Papist's puzzlement about why Hindoos worship monkeys, elephants, and cows. God gave man dominion over all creatures (Genesis 1:26) ... so why not eat them, instead? Then you'll have more time to properly worship our REAL Lord, Jesus Christ!

In Christ,
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

[Harsha Shah]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Yes, Mrs. Irish. This is Harsha Shah again. I am very sorry that I was offending you with my questions and it is totally allright that you did not feel like answering them. Yes. I am working as a primary school teacher and my pupils are very bright and intelligent. Yes.

I am also very happy because I found a research article that is saying that Jesus was also a vegetarian. Yes. I have been reading that Jesus was also promoting the non-violence, the ahimsa. This is in the Matthew gospel chapter 26 where those who use a sword will perish By it. Yes, I am thinking that Jesus was a complex person and sometimes he promoted violence but sometimes he was for the peace. This is the article that is teaching us that Jesus was also a vegetarian.

http://www.compassionatespirit.com/wpblog/2015/12/01/was-jesus-a-vegetarian/

Yes. I know that he did serve many people bread and fish. Yes. But they are not telling if he was eating it, too. I am thinking that is was two thousand years ago and that the documents are not reliable but this is a very good hypothesis and it is telling us that we are not only feeling different parts of the elephant. Yes. We are also communicating with each other. The story of Jesus is sad and beautiful. It is very beautiful that he gave his life and very sad that he failed to bring the peace on earth. Yes. I an hoping that I am not offending you again, Mrs. Irish, as you are seeming to be a kind woman. Yes.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Mrs. McIrish--Welcome to you. Do you ever prepare shepherd's pie for Mr. McIrish?

It is like Iowa farm food, meat, gravy and vegetables topped with mashed potatoes.

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Greetings, Brother Hold; I do appreciate your gracious welcome! It is so wonderful to be back amongst the Godly people of Landover once again.

Mr. McIrish likes ALL kinds of pie: my shepherd's pie (just meat and mashed potatoes, though - my husband doesn't care for the other veggies), my turkey pot pie, my cherry pie, my custard cream pie, and my peach pie. He's not a big fan of my chocolate cream pie, though; he says has to be "in the right mood" for that. Apparently my chocolate pie requires a lot of milk to whet his whistle so it can slide down easy (unfortunately, my chocolate cream pie tends to be a bit dry).

Mr. McIrish once asked me if I would mind him trying our neighbor's wife's hair pie (?), but I'm not familiar with that flavor. When I asked permission to go next door and get a copy of her recipe, he just laughed and laughed at my puzzled expression and then told me to go make him a sandwich. I didn't really understand the joke, but then again I'm just a vapid flibbertigibbet of a woman so it probably went right over my empty little head!

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

Hello again, Mrs. Patel -

The only thing "sad" about Jesus' story is that Hindoo heathens like you have not repented of their God-less ways by obeying His Every Word and living perfect lives as white-skinned True Christians. It goes without saying that Jesus did not "fail" (the very thought of that ludicrous statement makes me LOL, as the kids say); rather, MANKIND failed by not recognizing Him as Lord and King. Yet even though mankind snubbed Him, our Savior still made the choice to temporarily die in payment for their sins and arose 3 days later completely unscathed (Acts 2:31). Shout GLORY!!

One of the most amazing things about the Holy Bible (besides being the inarguable and literal Word of God) is how it leaves nothing to the imagination. God wants man to eat meat: "Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you" (Genesis 9:3). While on earth, Jesus was the manliest man's Man there ever was. Jesus was not a vegetarian or a limp-wristed salad eater. Jesus was not a rabbit. Jesus was, and is, the Holiest of the Holy. According to 1 Corinthians 10:3, meat, too, is Holy, and necessary for the spirit. Ipso facto, Jesus ate meat. Yes.

In Christ,
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

[Roland]

Re: A humble reintroduction.

[...]
Mr. McIrish once asked me if I would mind him trying our neighbor's wife's hair pie (?), but I'm not familiar with that flavor. When I asked permission to go next door and get a copy of her recipe, he just laughed and laughed at my puzzled expression and then told me to go make him a sandwich. [...]

Hello Mrs Irish,

Perhaps he meant ¨hare¨? They do quite nice in pies. B.t.w., do you shave? Anyway, you can share your thoughts here, in the Recipe thread.

Kind regards,

Roland