Help Me

[Longingforthekingdom]

Brothers and Sisters, I come before you as a broken sinner, a dreadful product of the Mary-worshiping Roman Cult known as the Catholic Church. On my knees with lips parted in prayer, I seek redemption before the eyes of the true-faith brothers and sisters of Landover Baptist Church, and I declare my love for Jesus Christ and his REAL message of salvation as written in the BIBLE, not the Satan-authored dogma of the Catechism. I want to be covered and annointed with the real seed of life, the regenerating fluids of true baptism. I want the overwhelming intensity of the Holy Spirit to fill every cavity of my soul and body, and shout in ecstasy as I attain the peak of joy and salvation. Can I get a HALLELUJAH, brothers and sisters? Please let me know how I can please Jesus!

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Help Me

Greetings Mr. Kingdom! I welcome you to this Baptist Christian forum even though I am not a member of the forum. I am fairly certain that my membership has been denied because I am Rastafari and not because I am a Black man but I am not completely sure. Most white people are very racist but these Baptists do not seem to be racist. I suggest that you expand on your introduction. These white people like to know more about those who come here. Are you a white man too? Most Catholics seem to be Mexicans but I do not know about ex-catholics.


Jah Guide
Trevor

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Help Me

Yes, well, that is all very well and good, but how about following the perfectly civil request at the top of the page?
Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[LucasP0326]

Re: Help Me

Greetings Mr. Kingdom! I welcome you to this Baptist Christian forum even though I am not a member of the forum. I am fairly certain that my membership has been denied because I am Rastafari and not because I am a Black man but I am not completely sure. Most white people are very racist but these Baptists do not seem to be racist. I suggest that you expand on your introduction. These white people like to know more about those who come here. Are you a white man too? Most Catholics seem to be Mexicans but I do not know about ex-catholics.


Jah Guide
Trevor

Yes. I am white, certainly not racist at all, and am Christian.

[LucasP0326]

Re: Help Me

Yes, well, that is all very well and good, but how about following the perfectly civil request at the top of the page?
Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Alright. My name is Lucas. I will not give away my last name however for security purposes for I am new to this site and feel out of place. I go to Divine Savior Academy in Doral, Florida. I am a white American with a Spanish 1/2 Lutheran 1/2 Catholic Father and a white American Lutheran Mother. I am not trying to anger anybody and I just came here to protect a game I love. I accept all people of all races. I do not discriminate people based on gender, race, or religion. I have friends of all sorts and treat them all as equal friends. I consider myself as a Democrat, like it or not, but hate every 2016 Presidential candidate. my favorite Bible passage is Psalm 23:4. I messed up on my profile as well. I am not 24. I am 14.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Help Me

Wait a minute here. Is this Longingface's thread or Lucasface's?

I'm calling shenanigans. Everybody, grab your brooms!!

[Longingforthekingdom]

Re: Help Me

Yes, well, that is all very well and good, but how about following the perfectly civil request at the top of the page?
Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Oh fiddlesticks! Guess I need to read the fine print! Lord, I pray that I may be more attentive and diligent in my efforts to engage with your flock in the future. I'm a new member at the Calvary Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa, Alambama, in the heart of GOD'S country, in the United (Christian) States of America! I'm 36 years-old, half-Spainiard (I'm pretty sure I'm from fair-skinned northern Spaniard lineage) and half Italian Caucasian. I came to know the NAME of Jesus through being raised in the Roman Culthlic Church, but only came to KNOW Jesus when I realized the current Pope is a faggot-loving libtard who drank too much of his own pagan witchcraft water and succumbed to the influence of the devil and Obummer (one in the same if you ask me).

I believe my lifelong struggle with sin is tied to my Spanish ancestry. The hot Latin blood courses through my veins and pollutes my loins, causing various perverted drives that cause me to cry out in shame to the Lord! I believe the goodness in me, the righteousness within me arises from my White side. I'm locked in a spiritual battle between my lustful Brown side and my pure White side. I do my part for the Lord by shunning my sinful Hispanic heritage, including all avoidance of Beaner-speak gibberish and Spicy dirty Beaner food. I gravititate towed the White, righteous, American way of life!!! My favorite foods are hamburgers and apple pie!

My intimate, passionate journey with Christ is guided by Psalm 1:1: "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful." My entire life is a war against sin, against the temptations promoted by the demonic agents of the libtard media.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Help Me

Well, this is a fine kettle of fish. There are two introductions on this one intro thread and both are similar. I have heard of cases of demonic possession where the victim thinks there is more than one personality living in him. Both of these people claim to be half white and half either Mexican or Italian. Could it be one person? The Security Ministry has their work cut out for them on this one.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Help Me

I think someone got caught with their socks showing.

[Longingforthekingdom]

Re: Help Me

Oh golly gosh! This is just a big kerfuffle!

I assure you that my Spanish ancestry is not Mexican. I'm half Puerto-Rican, and my lineage arises from the Germanic, Visigoth descendants of the Pyrenees! I have no pagan Indian in my lineage! Only proud, 100% Euro ancestry, made great by AMERICA!

[Basilissa]

Re: Help Me

Oh golly gosh! This is just a big kerfuffle!

I assure you that my Spanish ancestry is not Mexican. I'm half Puerto-Rican, and my lineage arises from the Germanic, Visigoth descendants of the Pyrenees! I have no pagan Indian in my lineage! Only proud, 100% Euro ancestry, made great by AMERICA!

Oh, so you're practically an Arab, then? Or do you have adequate evidence to prove no Arab ancestry in the 700 years of their occupation of Spain?


A cautious welcome, dear. While President Trump () will make it impossible for folks like you to even visit our blessed country, I'm sure that God has already planned somewhere else for you to live. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts, I hope that you will show your love for God and the Holy Bible often and wisely.

[LucasP0326]

Re: Help Me

Wait a minute here. Is this Longingface's thread or Lucasface's?

I'm calling shenanigans. Everybody, grab your brooms!!

Yep. Accidentally posted here. Also, did you notice the reputation system? Kinda wierd.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Help Me

Yep. Accidentally posted here with the wrong account active...

Rookie.

...Also, did you notice the reputation system? Kinda wierd.

What improvements do you suggest?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Help Me

Dear Troll,

Why do you have two accounts?


That's against the rules, and it makes me think you believe we are a bunch of rubes.

[Longingforthekingdom]

Re: Help Me

I assure you, I am not a troll. My good reputation has been sullied by an interloper on my thread, but in the eyes of the Lord, I am still saved. The LORD tells us not to bear false witness against our neighbors, lest we pay the penalty (death). As a testament to my authenticity, I differ from the OTHER poster in that BOTH of my parents were born and raised Catholic (please pray for their souls), so I have no shred of Lutheran, Unitarian, Negro Shukalulu, Chinese Orgami, or any other hokey Satanic "Wiccan" religion in my heritage. Phew! I struggle enough with my evil Culthlic pagan background, I don't need any other magical religions muddying the waters!