Hello, all you True Christians™!

[GreekFreedom]

I was a sinful unbeliever five days ago, but I was always convinced of the great abomination that is left-handedness. Thanks to my research on this issue, I discovered Landover Baptist, the only God-fearing denomination that recognizes this great threat, and I consequently accepted Jesus.

I am looking forward to joining you in fellowship, and my favorite Bible verse is Ecclesiastes 10:2.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello, all you True Christians™!

Hello, and welcome to our friendly forum! I'm so pleased to hear the Word of God fell on fertile soil of your heart! So tell us a bit about yourself! Do you have a family? How many sinners have you rebuked thus far? Do you prefer a stoning bucket or a thick Bible to thump those who stubbornly refuse to hear the Good News?

[GreekFreedom]

Re: Hello, all you True Christians™!

Sorry for posting back late. I am currently a student, so I have no family of my own. In any case, the girls here are completely sinful and think they are "independent" (whatever THAT means) and I am proud not to be soiling myself with them. As for my other family, my mother and brother think I'm stupid for warning them about the left handed agenda. It seems it is in my fate to be persecuted...*sigh* Matthew 5:10.

So far I have managed to convince two wayward females that the best place for them is in the kitchen. I find that the best way to deal with a Godless atheist/god-mocker is to bash them on the head with my Holy King James Version of the Bible, with the hope that the Holy Spirit may enter them and transform their lives. Praise be to the Lord and His Holy Word™!

[Lacking_Logic]

Re: Hello, all you True Christians™!


You are simply all imbeciles.
God is not real - can't you see?

Sadly not, you are all blissfully ignorant, confining yourself to this rooster-coop you call "religion".

Ha!

Christianity was created by this domino-effect that initiated from the toppling of the very first piece: insecurity.

Let's be honest, the inevitability of death is frightening. Even more so: what lies beyond.

Christianity is founded on the insecurities of what happens after the death. The uncomfortability of not knowing, yet still knowing it creep upon you.

So to mask this fear, you lie yourself, sprinkling morals here and there to satisfy yourself in this fable.

Open your eyes and leave your shackles of church. It's bullsh!t.

- Pepe

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello, all you True Christians™!

Christianity was created by this domino-effect that initiated from the toppling of the very first piece: insecurity.

Let's be honest, the inevitability of death is frightening. Even more so: what lies beyond.

Dear friend, you are confused. True Christians™ are no more afraid of death than we are of the taxman. You see, we, like Donald Trump, are too smart to be taken up with such mundane things. Like Donald Trump, we've found the Divine Loophole, only with regard to immortality. We look forward to our eternal reward.

You see, Heaven is talked about not less than 276 times in the New Testament alone. Scripture refers to three heavens. The apostle Paul was "caught up to the third heaven," but he was given a Divine Gag Order to keep spoilers hush-hush (2 Corinthians 12:1-9).

The Apostle John was privileged to see and report on the Heavenly City (Revelation 21:10-27), and let us know that Heaven possesses the "glory of God" (Revelation 21:11). Because Heaven has no night and the Lord Himself is the light, the sun and moon will become superfluous (Revelation 22:5). This of course will prove to be most fascinating for True Christians™ blessed to witness the birth of this new thermodynamics (Revelation 7:16; Revelation 21:23).

There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more sorrow (Revelation 21:4), which is why we know we will not feel sadness upon the knowledge that our loved ones who rejected Christ will be burning in the Lake of Fire, writhing in unspeakable pain for all eternity (Revelation 20:10).

We even know specifics, such as the fact that there is no sea (Revelation 21:1), it is 1500 square miles (Revelation 21:16), and filled with the brilliance of costly stones and crystal clear jasper (Revelation 21:11). Heaven has exactly twelve gates (Revelation 21:12) and twelve foundations (Revelation 21:14). The paradise of the Garden of Eden is restored, the river of the water of life flows freely and the tree of life is available once again, yielding fruit monthly with leaves that "heal the nations" (Revelation 22:1-2). There will be no need for dieting, as we will not require food (Romans 14:17). This will no doubt settle the uncomfortable question about toilets in Heaven and who would work the sewage system - no food = no sewage.

Why anyone would want to throw this opportunity away for a few short decades of independence of thought and behavior inspired by sympathy for another person, guided by the laws of cause and effect is beyond me. It doesn't make any sense.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, all you True Christians™!

Sorry for posting back late. I am currently a student, so I have no family of my own. In any case, the girls here are completely sinful and think they are "independent" (whatever THAT means) and I am proud not to be soiling myself with them. As for my other family, my mother and brother think I'm stupid for warning them about the left handed agenda. It seems it is in my fate to be persecuted...*sigh* Matthew 5:10.

So far I have managed to convince two wayward females that the best place for them is in the kitchen. I find that the best way to deal with a Godless atheist/god-mocker is to bash them on the head with my Holy King James Version of the Bible, with the hope that the Holy Spirit may enter them and transform their lives. Praise be to the Lord and His Holy Word™!

Hello and to our Godly forum! You sound like a very nice fellow, I am looking forward to reading more of your contributions on this forum!

[Lacking_Logic]

Re: Hello, all you True Christians™!

Once again, your ignorance astounds me.

I can see why you are 'confused'. This long blade we call 'death'; there's no gift at its tip. No 'eternal reward.'


Christianity has all been formed by the insecurities of what was a fear of death. Sure, you may not fear this, but that's merely because your sense of clear thought has been clogged up by this manure you call 'truth'.


There is no Heaven, no Hell. There's no omnipotent being that truly rules you. Once you reach the razor-tip of the blade, and it's your time to go, you'll realise how you've wasted your time, following strict rules to this thing that has been grown of the soils of insecurities.
Then you'll realise your mistake.


A wasted life time because of a hoax.
This is your only life, too.






Shame.




-Pepe