[Joseph T. Beckett]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

She will respond to your interest regarding her surname in a time and manner of her choosing. However, given her status in our blessed community as a True Christian™ versus yours as Unsaved Trash,it is hardly your prerogative to ask if she has permission to be here.


Someone other than myself may choose to explain to you the accepted hierarchy here at Landover Baptist. . . After all, I wouldn't wish to give the impression that I was attempting to educate you.

To imply something is not my prerogative is to place yourself in a position of authority to decide whether or not it is. I am glad that you agree it is not your place to do so. I asked legitimate questions out of concern for my wife whom I still have yet to decide to allow to frequent these boards to improve her pie making skills. I would hate for my simple wife to pick up liberal ideas from a wolf in sheep's clothing. False prophets are common. If Sister Joanna is a True Christian woman then her words will speak for themselves. If her words support Biblical truth (Hebrews 4:12), then I will know the truth.

Save

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

My dear Mr. Beckett. I'm so glad to see you on our humble forums! You seem like an upstanding Christian man, and that is as refreshing as a cool drink of lemonade on a hot summer day, or a soothing Scriptural verse when chasing a Sodomite away from a public space.

Might I encourage you to trust the True Christian™ pastors here, and know the Department of Faith vets all potential members, starting weeks before registration (the DoF works with the NSA, Google, and amazon to compile internet patterns and predict likely actions). As each member registers with the forum, they specifically permit the DoF or their agents the right to turn on their computer, microphone, video camera or any other device remotely and without their knowledge. They grant permission to read messages, emails, and do forensic analysis on computers and physically search their dwelling, property, place of abode, vehicles(s) or other mode of transportation and those of their friends, relatives acquaintances (and neighbors within a reasonable distance) without further legal requirement. You are safe with True Christians™. Guaranteed.

Kindly do keep in mind that when you registered on this forum, you agreed to the fact you would be joining the chorus of Brothers and Sisters in Christ singing the praises of Jesus, and sharing the Good News that He is going to send every single person on Earth who doesn’t believe in Him straight to Hell.

Hallelujah! Praise the LORD!

[David Rothstein]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

Meh! You are aware that men have a penis that emits sperm into the female's vagina, where they swim to meet with the woman's ovum? And you are aware that sometimes there is a low sperm count or they have low motility? Then again, since you believe the crap you read here, I would suppose you DON'T know that.


May I suggest a visit to your gynecologist to discuss this? Of course you probably don't have one of those either. OY.

You are quite rude, even as a brother. אתה צריך לדבר יפה

It's not your thread but you seem to hijack at every opportunity? נוטים עסק משלך!


You will not win these Christians to convert with such an abrasive attitude.

Shalom

[Joseph T. Beckett]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

Thank you for your kind reassurances Sister Mary Etheldreda. I feel that I can sleep much better knowing that True Christians™ so thoroughly reviews those who profess the faith. We must be careful. Many of those confess to be True Christians, but speak false truths and watered down versions of the Holiest Scripture. That time has unfortunately come increasingly upon us (2 Timothy 4:3-4).

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

As to your queries towards our esteemed Sister Joanna . . .
She will respond to your interest regarding her surname in a time and manner of her choosing.

I shall indeed - see below.

Someone other than myself may choose to explain to you the accepted hierarchy here at Landover Baptist. . .

Where is Sister Basilissa when you need her? She explains these matters so much more clearly and concisely than we ever can!

Ms. Joanna Lytton-Vasey, I had five children with my first (late) wife. I have four Christian soldiers and one daughter who is almost of marrying age.

That's Mrs Lytton-Vasey. In civilized cultures, the revolting appellation "Ms" is reserved for feminazis, lesbitarians and trannies or some combination thereof.

I cannot help but notice your hyphenated name. Are you married? Were you, your husband, or your father one of those progressive liberals who wish to wreak havoc on traditional values?

I have answered this question twice before on these Godly forums. If you are genuinely interested, I would recommend the use of the search function.

I see that your own wife - the current, apparently barren one, not the one who turned out to be a shameless whore** - is called Abigail Moore Buckett. Would you care to comment on the "Moore" in there?

YiC
JL-V

** By the way, in view of this, are you absolutely sure those children are yours?

[Joseph T. Beckett]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

I see that your own wife - the current, apparently barren one, not the one who turned out to be a shameless whore** - is called Abigail Moore Buckett. Would you care to comment on the "Moore" in there?

Absolutely, Mrs. Lytton-Vasey. My wife registered here under her maiden name around the same time her father and I came to an agreement. Her legal name is Abigail Beckett. I added her maiden name only to reduce confusion in the case anyone questioned why this wife knew of great pie recipes without having permission to be here.

I have received trusted assurances that you are a True Christian woman. As such, I know that you would understand my wanting assurances of the integrity of women with whom my wife would seek counsel (Psalms 64:2-3). I meant no offense with the use of 'Ms.' I honestly knew not your marital status and 'Ms' is still the standard in civilized society when addressing a woman of unknown status. I had more respect for you than to use the juvenile 'Miss', but in the future if that would be a better option in addressing an unknown woman, please let me know. I do repent of my transgression (Luke 17:3-4).

In response to your question on the status of my children. Yes, they are all mine.

Save

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

'Ms' is still the standard in civilized society when addressing a woman of unknown status.

That appears to be a usage of civilized with which I am unfamiliar. But let us let it pass.


It is reassuring to hear that you believe your first wife's children to be yours.

[Basilissa]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

I have taken the year off to get to know and comfort this new wife (Deuteronomy 24:5)

A somewhat belated to God's favorite forum on the Internet, Mr. Beckett! It's such a rare pleasure to see a newcomer who actually knows and obeys the Holy Bible!

[unsavedtrash113]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

but with regular beatings she has been a relatively obedient wife.

My head is spinning....are you fucking with everyone? I seriously cannot tell if this is a joke or that I have actually reached a website full of the most uneducated, uncivilized, worthless pieces of trash on the planet.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

My head is spinning....are you piffleing with everyone? I seriously cannot tell if this is a joke or that I have actually reached a website full of the most uneducated, uncivilized, worthless pieces of trash on the planet.

Friend, we live according to the Bible here. The Bible contains very specific instructions about when and how to discipline your wife and children.

Are you suggesting we should go against the Bible?

[Basilissa]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

My head is spinning....are you piffleing with everyone? I seriously cannot tell if this is a joke or that I have actually reached a website full of the most uneducated, uncivilized, worthless pieces of trash on the planet.

Thank you for your cruel and unjust persecution. It reassures me that we are RIGHT and you are WRONG.

2 Timothy 3:12 - Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

Matthew 5:10 - Blessed [are] they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:44 - But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Luke 6:22 - Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you [from their company], and shall reproach [you], and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

John 15:18 - If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before [it hated] you.

1 Peter 3:14 - But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy [are ye]: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;

1 John 3:13 - Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.

[handmaiden]

Re: Joseph T. Beckett

My head is spinning....are you piffleing with everyone? I seriously cannot tell if this is a joke or that I have actually reached a website full of the most uneducated, uncivilized, worthless pieces of trash on the planet.

WE are NOT worthless! Witness these verses:

Luke 12:6-7
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

So there. Jesus said that we are worth a lot more than some birds, which are list priced at 5 for 1/2 d. (It's probably more in American.) More importantly, God even has my hairs numbered, which is good because I tend to lose lots of them.


I don't know why you're being so mean. It's not really very civilized to barge in someplace and tell people that they're stupid
and uncouth and pieces of garbage.

And if we're so uneducated then how come we read the Bible so well and write such compelling posts praising it and defending it? And we are very good at applying its wisdom to our everyday lives, roughly 2000 years after the last part of it was written.


You try fitting all those different books from the Bronze age to the Classical Era into a comprehensive manual for life in the 21st century. We have to work very hard and strain our brains everyday to do what we do! Uneducated my sweet, round pumpkin sitter . . .




Offendedly Yours,
Handmaiden