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  • upchucker67
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jan 2020
    • 221

    #106
    Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

    Well in that case, maybe I'm subtlety the greatest here, by proxy of my determined honorary Negro status, and thus, I will serving the rest of you good folk, thereby assuring my place in Heaven by default?

    Matthew 23:11

    But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.


    Matthew 20:26


    But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;

    Comment

    • upchucker67
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      • Jan 2020
      • 221

      #107
      Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

      ^

      I'm being facetious, of course, I don't mean to get "uppity." (Please, don't infract me! ) I know the road to Heaven is narrow, no good work on my offer can really suffice.
      Matthew 7:14
      Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.




      Side note: I've been really getting into Matthew lately.

      Comment

      • Basilissa
        South of the Border outreach program
        True Christian™
         
        • Mar 2013
        • 12992

        #108
        Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

        Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
        Well in that case, maybe I'm subtlety the greatest here, by proxy of my determined honorary Negro status, and thus, I will serving the rest of you good folk, thereby assuring my place in Heaven by default?

        Matthew 23:11

        But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.

        Matthew 20:26

        But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;
        Have you been drinking, sweetie?

        Our Department of Faith has not resolved yet whether you have a chance of Salvation at all, so please keep your megalomania at bay.

        However: it is good that you are finally beginning to read the Word of God. This is great news and I do encourage you to do it more often. Pearls of Biblical wisdom are way more precious than whatever your brain can come up with.

        The next step is to start reading it in context. In Matthew 23, I would like to call your attention to the following verses:

        Matthew 23:8 But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.

        So, those who love Christ are all equals.

        Now, let's have a look at Matthew 20:

        Matthew 20:25-27
        25 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.
        26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;
        27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:

        Take note of the tense used. Jesus is not saying this is what will happen sometime in the future (whether in this world or in the next). He is ordering His disciples (that is us True Christians™) to practice humility by serving each other (emphasis on "each other," that means no mingling with the unsaved). Just like Jesus led by example by washing the feet of his disciples (I do hope they pre-washed them first!), we True Christians™ happily serve each other, and let me tell you, that we find much pleasure in this endeavor.
        God created fossils to test our faith.

        * * *

        My favorite LBC sermons:
        True Christians are Perfect!
        True Christian™ Love.
        Salvation™ made Easy!
        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
        Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
        God HATES Rational Thinking!
        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453

          #109
          Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

          Everyone is a servant of God. We are all beneath Him and only by His Glorious Grace are we tolerated. Some more than others.
          All of Gods creatures have a pecking order. God-Pastor Ezekiel-DJT- LBC True Christians(tm)-... you get the idea. I am sure a nigra is on that list but honestly, who has the time to check.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • Mary Etheldreda
            Gushing for Jesus
             
            • Sep 2011
            • 23775

            #110
            Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
            Have you been drinking, sweetie?
            Perhaps he's suffered a trauma to the head in an accident, Sister Bas. The only other person I've ever known to hijack every single topic of conversation to talk about himself suffered a trauma to the head in an accident.
            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • upchucker67
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jan 2020
              • 221

              #111
              Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              Perhaps he's suffered a trauma to the head in an accident, Sister Bas. The only other person I've ever known to hijack every single topic of conversation to talk about himself suffered a trauma to the head in an accident.
              You know, I did in fact have a head injury, though it was five years back. It was midnight and I slipped to the kitchen, trying not to wake the missus, and I went to the pantry to open a bag of marshmallows to snack on. I tugged and tugged, but the gosh darned bag wouldn't rip. Finally I did get it, and it startled me so much I fell backward and hit my head on the tile. I laid there knocked out cold, marshmallows scattered all around me. It was lesson to next time, crack the fridge ajar to have a bit of light.

              Comment

              • Isabella White
                True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                 
                • Mar 2019
                • 4374

                #112
                Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
                You know, I did in fact have a head injury, though it was five years back. It was midnight and I slipped to the kitchen, trying not to wake the missus, and I went to the pantry to open a bag of marshmallows to snack on. I tugged and tugged, but the gosh darned bag wouldn't rip. Finally I did get it, and it startled me so much I fell backward and hit my head on the tile. I laid there knocked out cold, marshmallows scattered all around me. It was lesson to next time, crack the fridge ajar to have a bit of light.
                Oh, you poor darling, Mr. Huckster! And I suppose that you suffered an additional concussion when the marshmallows hit you?
                (Mrs.) Isabella White

                Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12992

                  #113
                  Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                  Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                  Perhaps he's suffered a trauma to the head in an accident, Sister Bas. The only other person I've ever known to hijack every single topic of conversation to talk about himself suffered a trauma to the head in an accident.
                  I couldn't agree more, Sister, as the poor thing just cannot stop talking about itself.

                  Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
                  (self pity party)
                  Sister Mary, do you think I should spare some time to pray for this poor soul? I would have to divert time from caring for my Capsicum plants, and I cannot decide whether it would be worth it.
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • upchucker67
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    • Jan 2020
                    • 221

                    #114
                    Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                    We'll, this doesn't help me in presenting a respectable image. Perhaps the discussion frequently directed on the topic of me could be from this interesting, yet disappointing development when I came here as a huckster of economics only to become some blubbery fish thing. In some sense of irony, at least it's deflected the racist insinuations of the OP, though I didn't mean to imply any racism by the suggestion of black servants in Heaven, only in mind, it would contribute to the atmosphere of paradise allowing black souls living an eternity doing what they do best. I will point out, I responded politely to the OP's initial inquiry, though it was noted my suggestion had no Biblical merit - point taken. I sought to correct this. I'm happy to return to the discussion to one of fellowship and learning, and not on myself, thank you. -Pill.

                    Comment

                    • handmaiden
                      Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                      True Christian™
                      • May 2010
                      • 11510

                      #115
                      Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                      This may not be an original insight. Coming from my timid little mind it is sure to have been gleaned from some other source when I was only half-listening (one of my worst faults) to something a learned Man of God said.

                      Jesus promises to wash our sins as white as snow by applying the miracle stain removing power of His Blood.


                      Isaiah 1: 18

                      Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet , they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.


                      Reading those beautiful words, I am always struck again at the wonder of how something red like blood can make some other red thing to become white. Surely our God is a mighty God!


                      The other thought that popped into my mind is that perhaps Jesus' Blood can make negro people white. . . or maybe at least whitish?


                      The verse talks about sins becoming like wool, and black people already have wooly hair, so perhaps this is how "The Color Line", (to borrow a phrase from Frederick Douglass, whom-- according to President Trump-- has "done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more") will be dealt with in Heaven.


                      It may seem like quite the challenge to turn black people white, but the Bible does address this issue.


                      Jeremiah 13:23

                      Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? Then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.


                      This verse tells us at least two things. One, that Negros--or Ethiopians, as they were known during Bible times-- have been deeply distressed about their dark skins for centuries. Two, we are told that a soul transformed by The Lord can do an abrupt change.


                      On earth that change is manifested in one's behavior--going from doing evil deeds to doing good ones in Christ's Name. The idea of God being able to change an Ethiopian's skin when the time comes to enter Heaven seems like such a trifling act for a Mighty King Who has stopped the sun in the sky.


                      (Who knows, stopping the sun in the sky may be the means to toning down an Ethiopian's skin tone?)


                      Anyway, those are my ideas on the subject of whether negroes go to heaven. Except that they really aren't my ideas. The words come from The Holy Bible, and the understanding comes from The Holy Spirit straight to the man who follows Christ with devotion and seeks to learn.


                      I'm just so grateful the The Lord allowed the wisdom to trickle down to me.
                      His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                      Guns For God and the Economy

                      Comment

                      • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                        True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                         
                        • Jul 2014
                        • 8418

                        #116
                        Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                        That is certainly a very - er - original thought, Sister Handmaiden.
                        Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                        Reading those beautiful words, I am always struck again at the wonder of how something red like blood can make some other red thing to become white. Surely our God is a mighty God!

                        The other thought that popped into my mind is that perhaps Jesus' Blood can make negro people white. . . or maybe at least whitish?
                        I may be over-thinking (or more likely under-thinking) this, but surely if RED blood can turn RED items white, then if you wanted to turn something BLACK into white, you would need BLACK blood?
                        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29453

                          #117
                          Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                          You women folk, always trying to remove stains when the right thing to do is toss the damaged goods into a fire. I know you have been taught to be Thrifty Christians™ and I commend you for it.
                          Everyone knows, Heaven is not unlimited where as Hell has no bounds. If a nigra were allowed into Heaven, a decent White person would not. It would be wrong for God to deny a White person simply because of the purity of their skin.
                          Revelation 21:8
                          But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment

                          • handmaiden
                            Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                            True Christian™
                            • May 2010
                            • 11510

                            #118
                            Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                            Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                            That is certainly a very - er - original thought, Sister Handmaiden.
                            I may be over-thinking (or more likely under-thinking) this, but surely if RED blood can turn RED items white, then if you wanted to turn something BLACK into white, you would need BLACK blood?
                            Shhh! Sister Joanna, Trevor might hear you. He already thinks that Jesus is black.
                            His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                            Guns For God and the Economy

                            Comment

                            • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                              True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                               
                              • Jul 2014
                              • 8418

                              #119
                              Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                              Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                              Shhh! Sister Joanna, Trevor might hear you. He already thinks that Jesus is black.
                              Oh dear! Because if he were right about that - to which I can only say - then he would think that Jesus's (imaginary) black blood could turn him (i.e.Trevor) white, in which case Trevor would be white. But Jesus would be black. Can you imagine the cognitive dissonance that would ensue?


                              Brother James is, of course, correct. I apologize for wasting his valuable time.
                              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                              Comment

                              • James Hutchins
                                True Christian™
                                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                 
                                • Jun 2009
                                • 29453

                                #120
                                Re: Do negroes go to heaven?

                                Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                                Brother James is, of course, correct. I apologize for wasting his valuable time.
                                There is no need to apologize. I have walked past a kitchen and hear the cackling. I cannot imagine women only talk about recipes or cleaning. They often gossip about things they cannot fathom. Perfectly natural.


                                I'll leave you with this thought. Imagine you are blessed to have God kill you before you are all wrinkled, flabby and bat-winged. Firm, smooth and pearl like skin gliding along the sidewalk in Heaven, shoe shopping with an Jesus Express White Platinum(c) card. Covered modestly in a sheer pink dress swaying in the cool breeze that just peaks the senses. Could you really picture some grubby nigra covered with fools gold chains and playing gangster music on his boom box and the basketball spitting watermelon seeds on the street?
                                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                Comment

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