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  • Nahkriin
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 63

    #1

    I'm back again!

    Helllo brothers and sisters in Chirst! It's been a very long time since I've been on this wonderful forum! So much has happened since the last time I've been here. I recently got married to a fine woman, and she'll soon be giving birth to new soldiers of the Lord! Glory!! I also helped rid my town of a group of devil worshiping goths. They were spreading awful evil to the local youth, forcing them to participate in their blasphemous rituals. Needless to say the faithless will never step foot in this town again. May their souls burn in the pits of hell. Anyway I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful day!
    Last edited by Nahkriin; 06-25-2017, 11:44 PM. Reason: Made a couple spelling errors. Sorry!!
    John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
  • Basilissa
    South of the Border outreach program
    True Christian™
     
    • Mar 2013
    • 12997

    #2
    Re: I'm back again!

    Originally posted by Nahkriin View Post
    Helllo brothers and sisters in Chirst! It's been a very long time since I've been on this wonderful forum! So much has happened since the last time I've been here. I recently got married to a fine woman, and she'll soon be giving birth to new soldiers of the Lord! Glory!! I also helped rid my town of a group of devil worshiping goths. They were spreading awful evil to the local youth, forcing them to participate in their blasphemous rituals. Needless to say the faithless will never step foot in this town again. May their souls burn in the pits of hell. Anyway I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful day!
    back, dear, and I´m looking forward to reading more of your contributions on the forum.
    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: I'm back again!

      Welcome back and congratulations on finding a wife to keep your home and hearth! My advice to any newlywed groom is to pace yourself and diversify when disciplining. Mr. Etheldreda busted a vein in the back of his hand about three months into our marriage. He accused me of having cheekbones made of stone and I paid for that offence as well.
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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