[DatCoolChristianGuy]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

All you need is to pray the Sinner's Prayer! You'll instantaneously be made perfect and whole and forgiven, and any sin you did before will be hidden from Jesus like a homeless vet on Veteran's Day or a kid with bone cancer (Isaiah 43:25)! Then you can live forever and ever with Jesus and all the True Christians™!

What you need to do is confess with your own mouth that Jesus is Christ (Romans 10:9), and that you are a filthy, foul, worthless sinner in His Holy Eyes, and invite Jesus into your heart so you can be created anew (2 Corinthians 5:17). This new creation will be perfect, without sin, without fault (1st John 3:9 ), if your faith is sincere*. If you really love Jesus, you'll naturally want to obey Him in every way, and you'll find this easy-peasy-rice and cheesy (1 John 5:3).

You don't have to say these words exactly, but the sentiment should be there:

Dear LORD,

I acknowledge that you, Jesus, are the Son of God. I believe that you were born of the Virgin Mary in a miraculous way (impregnating her with the Holy Spirit, which is You, without her knowledge or consent, or even the benefit of physical sperm, but by the very will of God, who is, amazingly, also You). I believe you died on the cross for my sins. I believe you were resurrected, floated up into the air, through the atmosphere, and straight to Heaven. I know that your divine nature means you were impervious to the physical effects of the lack of oxygen in space, that your divine body saved you from any danger of your blood boiling, your eyeballs exploding, or your lungs turning into red slush.

I admit that I was born a sinner by your design, and there is nothing I could have done to prevent it, and that is a good plan. I have offended you in the most vile way - I chose the Sodomy Lifestyle. My guilt is overwhelming.

Please forgive me.

Please change my heart so I want to do whatever you want me to do.

Please change my heart to want to read the Holy Bible and agree with all of it.

Be my Savior.

Be my LORD and Master.

Accept me as your Spiritual Gimp. Use me, abuse me, just let me love you and serve you always.

I beg you, save me from the very Hell you created for me in the beginning of time in case I didn't fear and obey you.

In Jesus' Name I pray.

* Some restrictions may apply, for example if Jesus never included you from the very beginning (2nd Thessalonians 2:13), or if He decided for you long ago your value would be as a sinner, as an example of what not to be (Romans 9:21-22).

Thank you for that beautiful prayer, Mary. I will do my best to become a True Christian™


For now, I need some time to repent

[DatCoolChristianGuy]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

Sorry for posting twice on here but I was also wondering how I could get the title of "unsaved trash" gone. I'd really like to be able to post more on this site and eventually become a True Christian™

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

Sorry for posting twice on here but I was also wondering how I could get the title of "unsaved trash" gone. I'd really like to be able to post more on this site and eventually become a True Christian™

Dear Sinner,

Everything is possible for the Lord (Revelation 19:6) but these things take their time (2 Peter 3:8). You're being scrutinized by Jesus and if He sees potential in you, He may one day soon contact our Pastors to give you some initial release from the bonds of Unsaved Trash. Perhaps. You can ask Jesus to help you with the following uplifting words:

Psalms 26:2
Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Didymus Much]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

...Psalms 26:2
Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart...

Pony play, huh? That's the ticket?

[Rev_Rob]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

I'm astounded that you claim to have read the Bible many times yet you don't know the answers to your questions. Do you comprehend what you read or does it go in one ear and out the other? I'm not trying to be mean but, WOW, you astound me. You might try reading in the OT what God's judgement was on the Sodomite cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for starters and His judgement hasn't changed one bit since then. Further, one who is not married is living in SIN and NO abortion is NOT ok. As for sex before marriage TRUE Christians do not engage in such outside of sacred marriage. People who do engage in it outside of marriage are SINNERS and ABOMINATIONS in the eyes of the Lord Almighty. Now try reading your Good Book again and this time pay real close attention please. If you need further guidance just let me know. BTW you wouldn't be interested in some Miracle Spring Water would ya? For a small donation I promise you it WILL work true miracles. GLORY!!

[DatCoolChristianGuy]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

Hello again, thank you for all these replies, it has been wonderful to read through them.I have 2 more questions I need clarification on.
What should we use at contraception? If any at all.
I know we should make many Soldiers of Christ but is it against the Bible to have sex when we aren't making children>




Is it okay to have multiple partners?
I know some people in the Bible have multiple partners, but does God say it's okay? I know it wouldn't be okay for women but how about men?




If you could answer these it would be great

[Basilissa]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

Hello again, thank you for all these replies, it has been wonderful to read through them.I have 2 more questions I need clarification on.
What should we use at contraception? If any at all.

Abstinence.

I know we should make many Soldiers of Christ but is it against the Bible to have sex when we aren't making children>

Sex is for procreation, not for pleasure.

Is it okay to have multiple partners?
I know some people in the Bible have multiple partners, but does God say it's okay? I know it wouldn't be okay for women but how about men?

It is perfectly OK for men. You could go with two sisters like Jacob (Genesis 29:21-30), but you have to check what's legal in your jurisdiction (1 Peter 2:13).

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

Hello again, thank you for all these replies, it has been wonderful to read through them.I have 2 more questions I need clarification on.
What should we use at contraception? If any at all.
I know we should make many Soldiers of Christ but is it against the Bible to have sex when we aren't making children>

The only reason to copulate is to have children. It's an awkward, smelly, embarrassing thing to endure. I choke back my tears each and every time so as not to burden Mr. Etheldreda even further, but I am a humble servant to my LORD and if this is how He wants me to serve Him, then who am I to question? Sure, I might think to myself, He could have easily made it so that each and every time a married woman goes to sleep He takes a piece of her rib and creates a child like when He created a help meet for Adam in the first place. Then we women wouldn't have to endure such terrible things as pregnancy flatulence, stretch marks, pimples everywhere, yeast infections, and ugly crying at the drop of a hat, only to whelp out a small, fat, bloody creature through the most private part of her body, now the center of attention for the exhausted midwife, sisters, neighbors, all the curious children at the door, and the cat. But He didn't. He decided the mechanics for procreation would include touching the ickiest part of the man to the secretest, most humiliating part of the woman. I sometimes think it's to teach us humility and gratitude.

The only people who use birth control are those who are taunting Jesus because they know He is watching them, watching the seed hit a wall of death, knowing one less soul will be placed on the earth that moment. They are working for Satan to do whatever they think will thwart the LORD's work. But the last laugh will be on them! They'll burn in the Lakes of Fire for all eternity and when they look up towards Heaven begging for a drop of water, Jesus won't even spit in their direction. No, He'll laugh and them (Psalms 2:4), and then they'll be sorry they ever thought what they did was okay just because it was between consenting adults!

Is it okay to have multiple partners?
I know some people in the Bible have multiple partners, but does God say it's okay? I know it wouldn't be okay for women but how about men?

The LORD tells us marriage is between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24), one man and his wives (Genesis 4:19; 26:34; 31:17; Exodus 21:10; Deuteronomy 21:15; Judges 8:30; 1 Samuel 1:1-2; 1 Chronicles 4:5), one man and his wives and his concubines (Genesis 25:6; 1 Kings 11:2-3; 2 Chronicles 11:21), one man and his wife and her property (Genesis 16:1-4), one man and his brother's widow (Genesis 38:6-10), one man and the woman he rapes (Deuteronomy 22:28-29), one man who is a soldier for the LORD and his prisoners of war (Numbers 31: 1-18; Deuteronomy 21:11-14), one man and the child slave his father purchases at a fair price (Exodus 21:7-11). If it's in the Bible, it's for our righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16).

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Advice Needed!! (Sorry to post it here but I cannot post it anywhere else)

I'm reading Corinthians this week and am particularly enjoying II Corinthians as always but yesterday was still in I Corinthians and Chapter 12 is pertinent to your problem.

Christians are the Body of Christ and like any body there are different members each for a different purpose. Here God's teaching is about an actual human body. Later on He will draw the parallel with Christ's body.

I CORINTHIANS 12 .KJV . look up
18 God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
19 And if they were all one member, where were the body?
20 But now are they many members, yet but one body.
21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

Heathens see no reason not to trollop it up at home or at the nearest truck stop or just about anywhere with selfies galore and then they get AIDS which is a schism in the body. By the suffering of one member which I'm not going to describe but we all know what it is all of that human body is dishonoured. From their lobby groups and parades we are left in no doubt what heathens think of dishonour. In verse 23 it is explained how this less comely member may attain comeliness. Not by uploading pictures of it and getting "likes" but by union within the Body of Christ for the purpose He intended.

Reading on in Chapter 12 the parallel is made comparing one human body to Christ's body, which means all Christians collectively. Unbelievers are not included even if they pretend to be Christians and those fallen away would be a schism, spiritual AIDS in my comparison, so they are ejected.

In Genesis 2:24, which Mrs Etheldreda has already posted, we see that a wife and her owner are one flesh. In the case of Jesus, although we as The Church are His wife, the same principle applies. We are both Christ's body and His wife.

EPHESIANS 5 .KJV . look up
29 No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

There is even a place for us to live together! A brand new Jerusalem! This is also His wife and just as Jesus has bought us, making us His property just like Mrs Etheldreda is her Husband's property I Corinthians 6:20, so He has got us a new home forever.

REVELATION 21 .KJV . whole chapter
9b-11a Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife. And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, Having the glory of God.

That is why it's so important not to embark on any of the abominable relationships described throughout The Bible. Not according to me. According to God.