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  • Brother Josiah
    Unsaved trash
    • Dec 2017
    • 5

    #1

    Hi everyone

    Hi, i am currently a pastor of a small baptist church, and I came across this lovely forum. It is wonderful to see a place where so many christian men and women practice fellowship under the word of God. I am tired of heathens coming into my church and disagreeing with me when I rebuke them and tell them that if they don't follow the bible and turn from their sins they will burn in the fires of hell.

    My favorite bible verse:

    Revelation 21:8:But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.



    Also to any pastors (Or True Christians) of landover baptist: Do you have any advice on sermons to properly deal with modern heathens?
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: Hi everyone

    Hello dear, and welcome to our friendly forums. Before we discuss modern heathens, perhaps you could clear something up. Are you a pastor of a real church, or imaginary? I ask because you state in your public profile that you're looking for salvation. Sometimes it can be confusing to tell the difference between reality and imagination. Some of my children had a greater difficulty than others with this concept, too. One daughter had the hardest time understanding why Hercules never existed but Samson did. After all, she argued, they both did fantastic things with their strength. If one could have existed, surely it would mean the other also could have. After a series of physical corrections and extra nighttime, outdoor chores, she learned to answer her study questions correctly and stopped asking such foolish questions. But I digress.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • Brother Josiah
      Unsaved trash
      • Dec 2017
      • 5

      #3
      Re: Hi everyone

      Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
      Hello dear, and welcome to our friendly forums. Before we discuss modern heathens, perhaps you could clear something up. Are you a pastor of a real church, or imaginary? I ask because you state in your public profile that you're looking for salvation. Sometimes it can be confusing to tell the difference between reality and imagination. Some of my children had a greater difficulty than others with this concept, too. One daughter had the hardest time understanding why Hercules never existed but Samson did. After all, she argued, they both did fantastic things with their strength. If one could have existed, surely it would mean the other also could have. After a series of physical corrections and extra nighttime, outdoor chores, she learned to answer her study questions correctly and stopped asking such foolish questions. But I digress.
      Hi, yes i am pastor of a real church. I believe that everyone must actively seek salvation even if we already have it so that we never let our guard down.

      Comment

      • Mary Etheldreda
        Gushing for Jesus
         
        • Sep 2011
        • 23775

        #4
        Re: Hi everyone

        Originally posted by Brother Josiah View Post
        Hi, yes i am pastor of a real church. I believe that everyone must actively seek salvation even if we already have it so that we never let our guard down.
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Brother Josiah
          Unsaved trash
          • Dec 2017
          • 5

          #5
          Re: Hi everyone

          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
          Im old school and never understood these new symbol things that people use now. Could you please explain in words what you mean?

          Comment

          • MitzaLizalor
            Completely CRAZY for the Lord
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2010
            • 14623

            #6
            Re: Hi everyone

            Originally posted by Brother Josiah View Post
            Im old school and never understood these new symbol things that people use now. Could you please explain in words what you mean?
            Mary is saying that when Josephus refers to the historical Hercules he is mistaken. I am being polite. I'm sure that as a pastor you have read the writings of Moses and there's nothing about Hercules in there. I also checked Joshua, just in case.

            And indeed Alexander Polyhistor gives his attestation to what I here say; who speaks thus: “Cleodemus the prophet, who was also called Malchus, who wrote a History of the Jews, in agreement with the History of Moses, their legislator, relates, that there were many sons born to Abraham by Keturah: nay, he names three of them, Apher, and Surim, and Japhran. That from Surim was the land of Assyria denominated; and that from the other two, Apher and Japbran, the country of Africa took its name, because these men were auxiliaries to Hercules, when he fought against Libya and Antaeus; and that Hercules married Aphra’s daughter, and of her he begat a son, Diodorus; and that Sophon was his son, from whom that barbarous people called Sophacians were denominated.”

            As you can see, Flavius Josephus is citing Alexander Polyhistor as a supporting witness so we know that Alexander Polyhistor is lying too. Hercules does not appear anywhere in the Hexateuch.

            Comment

            • Basilissa
              South of the Border outreach program
              True Christian™
               
              • Mar 2013
              • 12997

              #7
              Re: Hi everyone

              Originally posted by Brother Josiah View Post
              Also to any pastors (Or True Christians) of landover baptist: Do you have any advice on sermons to properly deal with modern heathens?
              Hello and to our forum, Josh!

              We do have a helpful search option, you know.

              Originally posted by Brother Josiah View Post
              Hi, yes i am pastor of a real church. I believe that everyone must actively seek salvation even if we already have it so that we never let our guard down.
              Could you please elaborate, and support your position with appropriate Bible verses? I'm sure you could, as a real pastor of a real church you must have read the Bible at some point, right?

              You see, I am having trouble locating a verse explaining that Salvation can be somehow lost after it was already achieved.
              God created fossils to test our faith.

              * * *

              My favorite LBC sermons:
              True Christians are Perfect!
              True Christian™ Love.
              Salvation™ made Easy!
              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
              Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
              God HATES Rational Thinking!
              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

              Comment

              • Faith_Machine
                Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Mar 2011
                • 10050

                #8
                Re: Hi everyone

                Josiah, how's your fundraising? If your church isn't currently meeting all of its financial goals, I'd love to talk to you about a program that can help you take your tithing income stream to the next level.
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • Walter Van Slyke
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Oct 2013
                  • 212

                  #9
                  Re: Hi everyone

                  Originally posted by Brother Josiah View Post
                  I am tired of heathens coming into my church and disagreeing with me when I rebuke them and tell them that if they don't follow the bible and turn from their sins they will burn in the fires of hell.
                  You're tired of it? Isn't that your job?

                  Ezekiel 3:17-19
                  17 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.
                  18 When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.
                  19 Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

                  Humbly,


                  Wally



                  Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

                  Comment

                  • MitzaLizalor
                    Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2010
                    • 14623

                    #10
                    Re: Hi everyone

                    Originally posted by Walter Van Slyke View Post
                    You're tired of it? Isn't that your job?

                    Ezekiel 3:17-19
                    17 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.
                    18 When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.
                    19 Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.
                    I'm beginning to wonder if this Brother Josiah isn't a popish heretic? Catholicism requires constant "renewal" even after conversion from darkness into His marvellous light. Well, they don't have any marvellous light so rely on silver, gold and traditions from their "fathers" whose squalid opulence denies everything in The Bible. I was particularly reminded of the following passage:

                    I PETER 1 .KJV . look up
                    18-23
                    Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:
                    20-23 Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God. Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.


                    Catholics are big on "tradition" and look to their "fathers" (priests) for continual renewing which must be at an hourly rate or something to pay for all the obnoxious luxury even if pope Frank lives in a hole in the ground. One of those traditions is penance.

                    Penance is a sacrament of the New Law instituted by Christ in which forgiveness of sins committed after baptism is granted through the priest's absolution to those who with true sorrow confess their sins and promise to satisfy for the same.
                    TRANSLATION
                    the Sacrifice of Jesus was neither effective nor sufficient

                    Here's another one.

                    Catholic teaching regarding prayers for the dead is bound up inseparably with the doctrine of purgatory and the more general doctrine of the communion of the saints, which is an article of the Apostle's Creed. The definition of the Council of Trent (Sess. XXV), "that purgatory exists, and that the souls detained therein are helped by the suffrages of the faithful, but especially by the acceptable sacrifice of the altar", is merely a restatement in brief of the traditional teaching which had already been embodied in more than one authoritative formula
                    TRANSLATION
                    how much.money.have you got



                    This continual searching for Salvation is a pagan concept, absent from all Christian gatherings but very present in pagan doctrine reinforced by idols.
                    Even in death they search.
                    bring cash



                    ____________

                    http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11618c.htm . penance
                    http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04653a.htm . prayers for the dead

                    Comment

                    • Bubba Buck
                      Toilet Biter
                      • Sep 2016
                      • 273

                      #11
                      Re: Hi everyone

                      I know as a forum member it's not my place to make assumptions or judge someone, but once salvation is achieved it doesn't magically disappear over time and any Christian who follows the scriptures in The Buble would surely not fall off the path unless he/she was lying the whole time. Nevertheless, I am leaving this photo here for him and I want to hear his opinion of it. Nobody else talk about the photo. Based on his words it will help me understand him a bit better.

                      [PORNOGRAPHIC TEMPTATION REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
                      Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 12-23-2017, 05:57 PM. Reason: Promotion of pedophilia for yourself or others will not be tolerated on God's Favorite Forum, dear.

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