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  • crustymom786
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Dec 2017
    • 21
    #1

    Hello ! :)

    Hi, I'm Pamela. I go to Ebenezer Baptist Church and my favorite bible verse is Isaiah 26:3. I was raised by a wonderful Christian family so I think Jesus has always guided me throughout life . I hope I can make many friends here and praise the Lord with you all.
    Tags: None
    • Esther B.
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Sep 2012
      • 575
      #2
      Re: Hello !

      Welcome, Pamela! It's so nice to see someone following the instructions for making an introduction! How many children do you have? If you have your husband's permission, you should join the womenfolk in Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack.
      And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
      Deuteronomy 6.5

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775
          #3
          Re: Hello !

          Hi Pamela and welcome to our friendly forums! Tell us, how do you protect yourself from the Gays out there infecting our civilization? Do you carry a stoning bucket or a really strong leather tote bag to carry the stones for the sinners in your area?
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • crustymom786
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Dec 2017
              • 21
              #4
              Re: Hello !

              Tote bag !

                Comment

                • crustymom786
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Dec 2017
                  • 21
                  #5
                  Re: Hello !

                  I have two ! Their names are Gerard and Abigail. I'll ask my husband about Auntie Flo's in a little bit.

                    Comment

                    • crustymom786
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      • Dec 2017
                      • 21
                      #6
                      Re: Hello !

                      Hello Mary, I'm sorry for these questions, but, how do I get from Unsaved Trash to another status? And, how do I private message someone?

                        Comment

                        • Mary Etheldreda
                          Gushing for Jesus
                           
                          • Sep 2011
                          • 23775
                          #7
                          Re: Hello !

                          Originally posted by christianmom786 View Post
                          Hello Mary, I'm sorry for these questions, but, how do I get from Unsaved Trash to another status? And, how do I private message someone?
                          All newcomers are subject to the investigation of the Department of Faith, as you agreed when you registered. Please be patient. In the meantime, you are welcome to participate in any thread. Please be courteous, mind the rules, show due respect to your betters, and remember use the Holy Bible to show where the LORD gave you your opinions.
                          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                            Comment

                            • Basilissa
                              South of the Border outreach program
                              True Christian™
                               
                              • Mar 2013
                              • 12993
                              #8
                              Re: Hello !

                              Originally posted by christianmom786 View Post
                              Hi, I'm Pamela. I go to Ebenezer Baptist Church and my favorite bible verse is Isaiah 26:3. I was raised by a wonderful Christian family so I think Jesus has always guided me throughout life . I hope I can make many friends here and praise the Lord with you all.
                              Hello and to our forum, honey!

                              Judging by the appearance of your pastor (link and picture on the left), you must have been unfortunate to be born as a member of one of the lesser races. Do not despair; Salvation is open for everyone, even for Ethiopians - despite the fact that you cannot change your skin:

                              Jeremiah 13:23                               Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.

                              You may want to review our ex-Negro threads, though.
                              God created fossils to test our faith.

                              * * *

                              My favorite LBC sermons:
                              True Christians are Perfect!
                              True Christian™ Love.
                              Salvation™ made Easy!
                              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                               Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                              God HATES Rational Thinking!
                              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                                Comment

                                • crustymom786
                                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                                  • Dec 2017
                                  • 21
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello !

                                  Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                                  Hello and to our forum, honey!

                                  Judging by the appearance of your pastor (link and picture on the left), you must have been unfortunate to be born as a member of one of the lesser races. Do not despair; Salvation is open for everyone, even for Ethiopians - despite the fact that you cannot change your skin:

                                  Jeremiah 13:23                                   Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.

                                  You may want to review our ex-Negro threads, though.
                                  I'm actually half white and half black, but thank you Basilissa for the warm welcoming !!

                                    Comment

                                    • Elmer G. White
                                      Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
                                      Victim of atheist scientific persecution
                                       
                                      • Apr 2014
                                      • 10281
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hello !

                                      Dear aspiring potential Christian woman,

                                      Your heart seems to be in the right place, although your begetting activities leave some more enthusiasm to be desired. Your username is also utterly intriguing. I surmise it cannot be a reference to your monthly household allowance, as no True Man™ would leave his woman with such a large sum (our True Christian™ women are exceptions as many of them are able to count to one thousand! Praise Jesus!). Thus, it must be a reference to Psalms 78:6
                                      That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children:

                                      How do you fulfill the wonderful message of this verse in your daily life? Obviously, you're missing the next verse

                                      Psalms 78:7
                                      That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:

                                      I'm looking forward you fruitful discussion regarding this verse and many other Biblical passages with you.


                                      Yours in Christ,

                                      Elmer
                                      2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                                      PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                                      Check out our Research in Creation Science:

                                        Comment

                                        • MitzaLizalor
                                          Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Sep 2010
                                          • 14584
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hello !

                                          Hello Pamela. I've been reading I Samuel today and Ebenezer is a place with difficult history. The Philistines were showing off near there (chapter 4) when they stole The Ark. After a while it did return but required a plague of piles and mice (chapters 5 & 6) first. Perhaps this is what your Pastor had in mind when naming the Church? I trust that neither affliction troubles you and look forward to fellowshipping with you.

                                          Welcome to the forum.

                                            Comment

                                            • crustymom786
                                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                                              • Dec 2017
                                              • 21
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hello !

                                              Hello everyone- I'd like to ask for help about my horrible sinner daughter. I saw her a few days ago posting positive comments about MCR and defending them! She still prays and reads her bible everyday, but what should I do about THIS situation?

                                                Comment

                                                • Mary Etheldreda
                                                  Gushing for Jesus
                                                   
                                                  • Sep 2011
                                                  • 23775
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Hello !

                                                  Originally posted by christianmom786 View Post
                                                  Hello everyone- I'd like to ask for help about my horrible sinner daughter. I saw her a few days ago posting positive comments about MCR and defending them! She still prays and reads her bible everyday, but what should I do about THIS situation?
                                                  Find her a husband, ASAP. Give him a strong leather belt for a wedding gift.
                                                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Faith_Machine
                                                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                                      True Christian™
                                                      • Mar 2011
                                                      • 10050
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Hello !

                                                      Hi Pamela,

                                                      You are the least offensive new member currently being investigated by our Department of Faith!


                                                      Now then, I have no idea what "MCR" is, but it sounds like your daughter has too much idle time. Doesn't she have any chores she could be doing?
                                                      WARNING:
                                                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • crustymom786
                                                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                          • Dec 2017
                                                          • 21
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Hello !

                                                          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                                                          Find her a husband, ASAP. Give him a strong leather belt for a wedding gift.
                                                          Great idea !

                                                            Comment

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