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  • 268487697601
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • May 2018
    • 5

    #1

    Hi I'd like to join

    I want to be a part of true Christianity TM. I came to find Jesus because the world seemed like it was doomed. I attend the church 'Murican Jesus World in southern Texas. My favorite bible verse is john 3 16 because I can order everything with john 3 16 printed on it.
    I'd tried to get into other religions in the past but they all seemed too P C and sugar coated.

    Thank you for your time
    -god bless MURICA
  • Brother Gonzalez
    Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
    True Christian™
     
    • Sep 2016
    • 2087

    #2
    Re: Hi I'd like to join

    Please explain your username. It gives me the chills.
    1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

    Comment

    • Esther B.
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Sep 2012
      • 575

      #3
      Re: Hi I'd like to join

      I tried looking up your so called "church" and couldn't find anything. I also tried looking it up with the proper word "American" instead of your disrespectful spelling and still couldn't find anything. I think you're a lying troll who just wants to mock us. God hates liars, so I'd suggest you get yourself an KJV 1611 Bible and take a look at Proverbs 6:16-19, Proverbs 12:22, and Revelation 21:8.
      And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
      Deuteronomy 6.5

      Comment

      • 268487697601
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • May 2018
        • 5

        #4
        Re: Hi I'd like to join

        Originally posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
        Please explain your username. It gives me the chills.
        Cat + keyboard = mistakes

        As for Esther B, it IS a real church! And I'm sure everyone has room
        For improvement to improve their grammer and reduce slang usage.

        Comment

        • Brother Gonzalez
          Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
          True Christian™
           
          • Sep 2016
          • 2087

          #5
          Re: Hi I'd like to join

          Originally posted by Esther B. View Post
          I tried looking up your so called "church" and couldn't find anything. I also tried looking it up with the proper word "American" instead of your disrespectful spelling and still couldn't find anything. I think you're a lying troll who just wants to mock us. God hates liars, so I'd suggest you get yourself an KJV 1611 Bible and take a look at Proverbs 6:16-19, Proverbs 12:22, and Revelation 21:8.
          Thanks for your work, Esther, but let's not precipitate and let the department of Faith work here. Some Churches have to go undercover, specially in places where the Biblical law is far from a reality.
          1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

          Comment

          • Brother Gonzalez
            Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
            True Christian™
             
            • Sep 2016
            • 2087

            #6
            Re: Hi I'd like to join

            Originally posted by 268487697601 View Post
            Cat + keyboard = mistakes

            As for Esther B, it IS a real church! And I'm sure everyone has room
            For improvement to improve their grammer and reduce slang usage.
            So are you male or female?
            1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

            Comment

            • 268487697601
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • May 2018
              • 5

              #7
              Re: Hi I'd like to join

              Originally posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
              So are you male or female?
              I am a french fry

              Comment

              • BrotherLarry
                Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2014
                • 2266

                #8
                Re: Hi I'd like to join

                I hope you won't mind if I call you "2" for short. I am a busy young man and I don't have time to type that many numbers at one sitting.


                I bid you a cautious welcome, "2." Cautious why? Because your church seems made up and you fell back on a very popular verse which is only useful if 3:17 is included. Next, you found Jesus because the world seemed doomed? Exactly HOW did you find Jesus - not WHY, but HOW?


                The True Christian™ love that you will find here is unsurpassed but until the Dept of Faith does their work I must remain at a distance from you. I do welcome you to the forums. We are kind and gracious people with a great dedication to Christ and His Kingdom.


                If you read more of my posts you'll see that I am also a great thinker and follow all the Bible's Sacred Teachings. May you be like me someday.


                Revelation 22:12 - Read it!
                BrotherLarry
                Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                Amen and Amen

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12993

                  #9
                  Re: Hi I'd like to join

                  Originally posted by 268487697601 View Post
                  I'm sure everyone has room
                  For improvement to improve their grammer and reduce slang usage.
                  What is a grammer and do I really need it? Is it an animal? Plant? Furniture? Appliance? App?

                  I'm really curious, dear!
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • 268487697601
                    Unsaved trash
                    Under Investigation
                    • May 2018
                    • 5

                    #10
                    Re: Hi I'd like to join

                    Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                    What is a grammer and do I really need it? Is it an animal? Plant? Furniture? Appliance? App?

                    I'm really curious, dear!
                    It's just somethin that makes you sound bester.

                    Comment

                    • Basilissa
                      South of the Border outreach program
                      True Christian™
                       
                      • Mar 2013
                      • 12993

                      #11
                      Re: Hi I'd like to join

                      Originally posted by 268487697601 View Post
                      It's just somethin that makes you sound bester.
                      I see that you lack both in the grammar and spelling departments.

                      Assuming you meant that this word I'm unfamiliar with, "grammer," is "something that makes you sound better," do you mean something like this?





                      God created fossils to test our faith.

                      * * *

                      My favorite LBC sermons:
                      True Christians are Perfect!
                      True Christian™ Love.
                      Salvation™ made Easy!
                      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                      God HATES Rational Thinking!
                      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                      Comment

                      • Dr Laurence Niles
                        Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                         
                        • Jan 2012
                        • 9063

                        #12
                        Re: Hi I'd like to join

                        Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                        I see that you lack both in the grammar and spelling departments.

                        Assuming you meant that this word I'm unfamiliar with, "grammer," is "something that makes you sound better," do you mean something like this?





                        She may may be referring to her grand mother?

                        YIC
                        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                        Comment

                        • Thomas Taylor
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Oct 2012
                          • 1486

                          #13
                          Re: Hi I'd like to join

                          Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
                          She may may be referring to her grand mother?

                          YIC
                          Or possibly she is considering a small community in Rock Creek, Indiana.
                          Isaiah 66:15

                          For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

                          Comment

                          • Vengeance Puriel
                            Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
                            Forum Member
                            • Jun 2018
                            • 324

                            #14
                            Re: Hi I'd like to join

                            Originally posted by 268487697601 View Post
                            It's just somethin that makes you sound bester.
                            and I thought I was bad before wow.
                            -Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
                            -Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
                            -James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

                            Comment

                            • Didymus Much
                              Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 14079

                              #15
                              Re: Hi I'd like to join

                              Originally posted by Vengeance Puriel View Post
                              and I thought I was bad before wow.
                              I must have missed wow happening. Were you there?

                              Comment

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