Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

[Brother D. Thomas]

_______________________________

My fellow True Christians,

My absence from the Landover Baptist Church forums was caused by no internet connection in the desolate Nevada deserts
where I was taking a missionary position with my Nevada State Brothel Ministries. I am literally drained from this godly act,
therefore, I have taken a break from trying to save these wanton harlots as they conduct their sinful acts
in their dens of iniquity, and return to the big city to recoup.

I will take this advantage by having my engine rebuilt in my Salvation Bus before I return to Nevada, because the courtesans
didn’t like me breaking down all the time after I picked them up from the airport to take them to their designated brothels.

It is so great to see an outlet like Landover again in preaching Jesus’ word to the letter, and not in any way Satanically
spin doctoring it from its initial Bronze and Iron Age true meaning, praise!

Before I return to Nevada, I will reestablish my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries to bring the word to the unfortunate individuals
that have to take the bus for their transportation. As if life isn’t hard enough at times, imagine sitting in a “Grey Dog”
next to a 350 pound Hispanic woman changing her 7th child’s diapers while crossing the Nevada desert at 120 degrees!
In the meantime, her other six little tacos are running up and down the isle of the bus! When persons are involved in horrific
situations like this, they are easily prone to accept Jesus so this uncomfortable situation doesn’t happen again through prayer to Him.


In the name of the hung Savior,

Brother D. Thomas

I consider my Salvation Bus as a true act of our
Yahweh/Jesus God, and I am sure Jesus is smiling
in agreement, praise!

__________________________________

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

My absence from the Landover Baptist Church forums ....

You've only been absent for a little over 24 hours and I can't say I noticed, dear. But jolly well done, anyway.

[Basilissa]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

You've only been absent for a little over 24 hours and I can't say I noticed, dear. But jolly well done, anyway.

Well, to be fair, Brother Thomas has been absent from here for three years, Sister, preaching among the destitute. Very admirable indeed.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

Oh, I'm so very sorry - I thought he was talking about his absence since his last posts yesterday. But, as I said in my previous post, jolly well done to him on the Nevada thing!

[Dana723]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

Wonderful, Brother Thomas! I'm sure you had many a harlot on their knees praising God and shouting

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

This all sounds a bit unseemly, if you ask me.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

_______________________________

My fellow True Christians,

My absence from the Landover Baptist Church forums was caused by no internet connection in the desolate Nevada deserts
where I was taking a missionary position with my Nevada State Brothel Ministries. I am literally drained from this godly act,
therefore, I have taken a break from trying to save these wanton harlots as they conduct their sinful acts
in their dens of iniquity, and return to the big city to recoup.

I will take this advantage by having my engine rebuilt in my Salvation Bus before I return to Nevada, because the courtesans
didn’t like me breaking down all the time after I picked them up from the airport to take them to their designated brothels.

It is so great to see an outlet like Landover again in preaching Jesus’ word to the letter, and not in any way Satanically
spin doctoring it from its initial Bronze and Iron Age true meaning, praise!

Before I return to Nevada, I will reestablish my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries to bring the word to the unfortunate individuals
that have to take the bus for their transportation. As if life isn’t hard enough at times, imagine sitting in a “Grey Dog”
next to a 350 pound Hispanic woman changing her 7th child’s diapers while crossing the Nevada desert at 120 degrees!
In the meantime, her other six little tacos are running up and down the isle of the bus! When persons are involved in horrific
situations like this, they are easily prone to accept Jesus so this uncomfortable situation doesn’t happen again through prayer to Him.


In the name of the hung Savior,

Brother D. Thomas

I consider my Salvation Bus as a true act of our
Yahweh/Jesus God, and I am sure Jesus is smiling
in agreement, praise!

__________________________________

I hope you were able to spend some time looking out for all those niaive, clean limbed young youths who are being tempted away from the Godly muscular embrace of Jesus and to a much lesser extent their youth Pastors?

Non-married, non-motherfied, non-Christian, non-Silentificationalistical women are bound for Hell and have very little chance of Salvation(tm).

But the youthful, eager, vibrant young youths of this great nation (and girls) can still be save by the turgid vigilance of youth Pastors and other concern parties such as myself with a firm hand and tumescent courage in Christ.

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

YIC

[Brother D. Thomas]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

This all sounds a bit unseemly, if you ask me.

__________________


Faith_Machine,

Why do you have so little faith in Jesus' word? Are not the whores in Nevada worthy of being saved in his name?

When I was in the disgusting brothels of Nevada, it was hard all the time, in getting these courtesans to see the light of Jesus' Salvation!

I was doing my part in spreading Jesus' word (Mark 16:15-16), and then you have the audacity to question my godly work in this respect?
If anything is unseemly, it is your outright questioning of my prescribed godly duties in saving these harlots from the sulfur lakes of Hell!

Shame on you!


In the name of the hung Savior,

Brother D. Thomas


_________________________

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

Friend, it is you who I don't have faith in. Your story does not add up. I think you're a faker.

[Vengeance Puriel]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

Friend, it is you who I don't have faith in. Your story does not add up. I think you're a faker.

What caught your attention?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

He's obviously way too eager to surround himself with whores.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

My pa always told me that Christians don't lie. As far as this argument between Faith Machine and Mister Thomas goes, I should probably look at who is more Christian to see who to believe. In this case, Mister Faith Machine has the word TRUE in his title so I have to believe Faith Machine when he says Thomas is lying.

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.

You are treading a dangerous path to hell Mister Thomas. My Pa always told me as has The Bible that liars burn in hell. On the other hand, those that speak the truth are rewarded well. This is how Mister Trump became president and why Hillary lost the election.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

Thank you, my pure, innocent lamb.

[Vengeance Puriel]

Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada!

My pa always told me that Christians don't lie. As far as this argument between Faith Machine and Mister Thomas goes, I should probably look at who is more Christian to see who to believe. In this case, Mister Faith Machine has the word TRUE in his title so I have to believe Faith Machine when he says Thomas is lying.

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.

You are treading a dangerous path to hell Mister Thomas. My Pa always told me as has The Bible that liars burn in hell. On the other hand, those that speak the truth are rewarded well. This is how Mister Trump became president and why Hillary lost the election.

I believe that Faith Machine is right as well.