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  • #1

    I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

    My name is Gerald and I was raised in an atheist family. My parents would mock Christians and frequently voted democrat(or demo-rat as I like to call them). I had to go to church in secret, and visited many churches, but none seemed like they truly believed their faith. Then I heard about this website from a similarly mined friend, and I knew I had to join. I don't know bible verses very well, as I could never read it in my house for fear of being beaten. My favorite one I have memorized currently is Corinthians 16:13.I spent 3 hours making this image as perfect as I could.


    I'm looking for some advice from fellow god-fearing men and women on how to deal with sodomites and the unsaved. Anything is appreciated!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

    also please remove my unsaved trash status

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

      Hello Ryan and to our Godly forum! Thank you for your introduction, not many folks post a proper introduction these days!

      I am certainly looking forward reading more of your contributions on the forum! Regarding the "unsaved trash" label, it will be removed as soon as our Department of Faith determines that you are not, you know, unsaved trash. It's nothing personal, it's just that 99% of newcomers do turn out to be unsaved trash, and it's easier to change the label of 1% than of 99%.
      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
       Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

        Originally posted by Gerald Ryan View Post
        also please remove my unsaved trash status
        What a shame, dear. You see, Christ Jesus explains that the True Christian™ is so humble that when He see us at His Heavenly Wedding Banquet (sooo much better than anything those British Royals put on), He will say, "Goodness dear friend! You're not exalted enough! You are more special than The Queen of Sheba, more precious than the Golden Haired Modern Samson of the White House! You are like Gods for you are My Brothers and Sisters!" (Luke 14:7-11) That's why you'll find naught but the most down to earth, loving people here on God's Favorite Forum! We all started out labeled as "unsaved trash," and none of us whined about it because we know the value of humility. And deferring to authority. Welcome!
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

          Hello.

          Originally posted by Gerald Ryan View Post
          I heard about this website from a similarly mined friend,
          I am so very sorry to hear of your injuries and those of your friend (do we know him?). Were they acquired during military service?

          Originally posted by Gerald Ryan View Post

          I spent 3 hours making this image as perfect as I could.
          Such a shame, as that's 3 hours you could have spent on Bible study if you'd only cut and pasted the identical image from this page here:

          What a pity, too, that you used some inferior version of God's Holy Word.

          1 Corinthians 16:13 Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.


          Indeed, there is much that is sad about your posts - the second one even more so than the first. I will pray for you.

          Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

            Hello and welcome! The answers you seek are in the and I am sure any of these wonderful people will help with any questions. As for the unsaved trash designation, we're all unsaved trash until we have faith and work hard to become a Christian and ultimately a , a goal which I aspire to. I know my faith isn't good enough yet, but one day I will!
            Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
            1 Corinthians 11:13

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

              Gerald, you don't need to deal with sodomites at all, and the only unsaved person you need to deal with is yourself.

              Open up your Bible and read it!
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

                Hi Jerry, welcome to the Gods Favorite Website(tm).


                It is interesting you complain yet you do not follow the Bible. How can God (or anyone for that matter) take you seriously if you fail to follow instructions?
                You have a long way to go before you are able to speak to the 'Head Guy' and make reservations for a dinner with Jesus.
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: I'm new here, looking to find REAL faith

                  Hi, and a cautious welcome impatient Brother.

                  I just wanted to let you know that in this forum, all races are treated the same. Being a NASCAR race, or an F1 one, we just discuss speed, motor, pilots. Even Moto GP we can talk.


                  Regards,


                  Brother G
                  1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

                  Comment

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