[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Do you know the MuffDiver? Do you know why he looks at buns so intently?

Is this you, boy?

The Muffin Man Arrested For Disorderly Conduct

RENO, NV – Last week, police arrested the Muffin Man, 59, in a residential area of Reno, Nevada after receiving disturbing reports from neighbors. Local residents called police after the Muffin Man reportedly began violently knocking on doors asking for a ride to Drury Lane while wearing nothing but a mangled apron and a chef’s hat full of baking soda as a sock. The nursery rhyme star was taken into custody for disorderly conduct once police found him drunkenly stumbling through an elementary school playground and demanding that the slide return what was his “by right.”
The notorious pastry maker was also charged with resisting arrest after attempting to escape the police. When approached, the Muffin Man tried to run away, screaming “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” and a number of racial slurs. An officer sustained minor injuries after struggling with the suspect—who was shot with a taser three times to no avail—in the parking lot of a Carl’s Jr. Spectators were horrified to see the man whom they had once sung about fight off three police officers with a wooden spoon.
The Muffin Man has not yet been able to post bail given financial difficulties after the Food Safety and Inspection Service closed his bakery. Moreover, because he is a repeat offender of this sort of misdemeanor, he may indeed face some jail time for his latest actions.

[MuffinMan]

Re: Do you know the MuffDiver? Do you know why he looks at buns so intently?

Is this you, boy?

No, that's an impostor.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My Introduction

Seems to me that Muffin muffed.

He does seem a bit miffed. Perhaps he has fallen butter side down.

[Basilissa]

Re: My Introduction

You should perhaps have added a !!!!!WARNING!!!!!! Sister Bas. Not all these other threads will be solely devoted to you, MuppetMan. In fact, at this time NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM so much as even MENTIONS you.

And I guess that's why he's not going to post in any of these threads.

He does seem a bit miffed. Perhaps he has fallen butter side down.

It does look like it, doesn't it?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Do you know the MuffinMan? Do you know why he looks at buns so intently?

I'm getting really tired of seeing introductory posts from people who claim they are not currently attending church, because they cannot find one that is consistent with their beliefs.

If all you do is find fault with churches, and tear down their pastors, then you will never find yourself a home Church.


the truth is you are just making excuses, Because you probably enjoy sleeping late on Sunday mornings, and watching football.

[MuffinMan]

Re: Do you know the MuffinMan? Do you know why he looks at buns so intently?

I'm getting really tired of seeing introductory posts from people who claim they are not currently attending church, because they cannot find one that is consistent with their beliefs.

If all you do is find fault with churches, and tear down their pastors, then you will never find yourself a home Church.


the truth is you are just making excuses, Because you probably enjoy sleeping late on Sunday mornings, and watching football.

I have no interest in attending a church that picks and chooses which parts of the King James Bible it wants to practice, and ignores whatever parts it does not want to practice.


I would only attend a church if it humbly accepts and practices 100% of the King James Bible without the slightest hesitation.


As far as I know, the only church in the world that does this is the one and only true Landover Baptist Church.

[Basilissa]

Re: Do you know the MuffinMan? Do you know why he looks at buns so intently?

As far as I know, the only church in the world that does this is the one and only true Landover Baptist Church.

And we have already established that, at this time, it is logistically impossible for you to attend our church, which lies in the midst of a heavily guarded gated community.

Helpful suggestions have been provided:

Here's the solution: wander off from the city in any direction. While Iowa City does contain a little liberal bubble due to the regretful influence of the University of Iowa, let me reassure you that rural areas are filled with KJV Bible obeying, Trump voting, anti-vaccine, global warming hoax denying, Young (and flat) Earth believing, white male superiority affirming, Godly White Christians.

[MuffinMan]

Re: Do you know the MuffinMan? Do you know why he looks at buns so intently?

And we have already established that, at this time, it is logistically impossible for you to attend our church, which lies in the midst of a heavily guarded gated community.

Helpful suggestions have been provided:

I have already tried following your suggestion. I have even tried searching for "KJV inspired" Baptist churches using kjvchurches.com, as well as traveling all over the state of Iowa to visit these parishes. Each time, I asked the pastor what shape the earth is and I was told that the earth is a sphere.


I have no interest in attending a church where the pastor believes that the earth is a sphere. This is blasphemy.


Romans 3:4


God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.