My welcome thread i guess.

[Robert Jackson]

Hello everyone! im RObert Jackson and i dont know why the website says im unsaved trash im a true christian!. I signed up for this website back in 2018 but i couldn't post because i found out my son was playing overwatch!!! i promptly took the computre outside and chopped it up with an axe to get rid of the sin in my home. I love jesus with all of my hart. i look forward to talking with othre christians like me.

[Basilissa]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

im RObert... i dont... im unsaved trash im a true christian!. i... computre... jesus... hart. i... othre christians

If you really are Christian, you should pray to Jesus to cure your dyslexia (or whatever other demon makes you write so poorly).

Also - since 2018, you haven't figured out yet that the instructions were on the top of this page?

Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

. I signed up for this website back in 2018 but i couldn't post because i found out my son was playing overwatch!!! i promptly took the computre outside and chopped it up with an axe to get rid of the sin in my home.

Your grammar and typing indicate stress and overwork to me. Perhaps you should take a little time off from posting here.

[Isabella White]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Hello everyone! im RObert Jackson and i dont know why the website says im unsaved trash im a true christian!. I signed up for this website back in 2018 but i couldn't post because i found out my son was playing overwatch!!! i promptly took the computre outside and chopped it up with an axe to get rid of the sin in my home. I love jesus with all of my hart. i look forward to talking with othre christians like me.

Greetings, Mr. Jackson, and to you I extend a warm . I hope you won't mind my saying, but, goodness gracious, it's taken you long enough to reach out to us, seeing as your account was created months ago. However, better late than never, I suppose, and it's never too late to ask the to forgive you from your appalling, horrid sins, and to wash you as white as snow with shed .

Now then, as our dear Sister Basilissa has noted, so kindly, it is noted that you have failed to provide the information that we have asked, so cordially, at the top of our Introduction Forum. Kindly refer to her message to see, exactly, what it is that we would like for you to share with us.

As for your typographical errors, I suppose I could attribute that to your probable use of one of those eye-phone thingies. In future, however, please take care to ensure that your messages on are without error. It's not that we're a fussy bunch here, but we do have our standards. This, I am sure, you will understand.
We look forward to studying the glorious with you, Mr. Jackson.

Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Emily Brent]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

i found out my son was playing overwatch!!! i promptly took the computre outside and chopped it up with an axe to get rid of the sin in my home.

Very foolish of you Robert? Do you know what happens when metal comes in contact with a powered device? You're lucky you didn't get electrocuted. don't believe me??? Try putting a spoon in an electrical socket. Voila. You're welcome.

[Basilissa]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Very foolish of you Robert? Do you know what happens when metal comes in contact with a powered device?

Sweetie, I doubt the computer was still turned on after the man took it outdoors.

Unless it was a laptop. Would sparks come out when chopping a powered (running on internal battery) laptop? The experiment has been conducted and the answer is no. It's a long video filmed by a whiny primadonna, so you'll want to skip the first half:

And speaking of dads - how is yours doing? Instead of crying over the inevitable, have you made funeral arrangements for him? (You might start thinking about your own funeral arrangements, too; at your age, you never know!)

[Emily Brent]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Would sparks come out when chopping a powered (running on internal battery) laptop? The experiment has been conducted and the answer is no.

The answer is; do!

One must try for themselves. The Bible does not endorse the scientific method. That be said. Life is the great adventure; why not find out for yourself?

And speaking of dads - how is yours doing? Instead of crying over the inevitable, have you made funeral arrangements for him? (You might start thinking about your own funeral arrangements, too; at your age, you never know!)

I have no wish for a funeral. For my dear father, I tremble before God that said tremblings will cease, and my feelings for Dear Pop will extinguish on his deathbed. Can love exist beyond the grave? Jesus seems to say yes.

1 John 3:14

We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.


It seems to be the purest form of love, one foot out of the grave, into life once more itself. Feelings for Pa will be an endless maelstrom henceforth.

[C. S. Darrow, Esq.]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

I have no wish for a funeral. For my dear father, I tremble before God that said tremblings will cease, and my feelings for Dear Pop will extinguish on his deathbed. Can love exist beyond the grave? Jesus seems to say yes.

1 John 3:14

We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.


It seems to be the purest form of love, one foot out of the grave, into life once more itself. Feelings for Pa will be an endless maelstrom henceforth.

Unless I am mistaken, loving your "Dear Pop" while he was alive wasn't a worthwhile risk, let alone once he's expired.


Luke 14: 26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his owne life also, hee cannot be my disciple.

But then Jesus does specify "man", so there's that. Maybe women get a pass on that. I had no problem hating my dad, in Jesus' name.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Dear RObert:

I assume you are a Brit, since you spelled computer wrong just like they spell meter and license and favor wrong. Jesus can heal you of this AT THE SAME TIME he cleanses your soul from the vile sexual sins and child abuse that you have been committing for years.

You are not a True Christian (tm) until declared so by our Department of Faith after extensive investigation. Until you humble yourself before God Almighty and follow His precepts, all we can do is point you to the answer for all of life’s questions: The Holy Bible.

It will warm your heart to know that I have added you to my prayer list so that twice yearly I will bombard the Throne of God with your name. Shout Hallelujah!

[Basilissa]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

The answer is; do!

One must try for themselves. The Bible does not endorse the scientific method. That be said. Life is the great adventure; why not find out for yourself?

Because I have more interesting things to do with my life. However, if you don't have anything else to do, go for it!

I have no wish for a funeral.

So what will it be? ashes scattered to sea? Body left to be devoured by scavengers?

For my dear father, I tremble before God that said tremblings will cease, and my feelings for Dear Pop will extinguish on his deathbed.

Mr. Darren has already expressed what Jesus has to say about it.

[Emily Brent]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

So what will it be? ashes scattered to sea? Body left to be devoured by scavengers?

I wish for my body coated in honey -- strained through a muslin bag - *drip* *drip* *drip* I love honey.


Before this is done to my carcass, I wish for my skin to be stripped from the bone, tanned and leather-bound into a ancestral copy of the KJV Bible to be passed down to kin.


My honey born corpse will be cleaned by flies devouring muscle and sinew.


I wish for my bones to be anointed for theatrical productions - for enactment of Ezekiel 37:1-14.

[Basilissa]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

I wish for my body coated in honey -- strained through a muslin bag - *drip* *drip* *drip* I love honey.


Before this is done to my carcass, I wish for my skin to be stripped from the bone, tanned and leather-bound into a ancestral copy of the KJV Bible to be passed down to kin.

My honey born corpse will be cleaned by flies devouring muscle and sinew.

I wish for my bones to be anointed for theatrical productions - for enactment of Ezekiel 37:1-14.

That's a very specific (and somewhat odd) wish. You forgot to mention, what do you want done with the hair, fat, brain, and intestines? Ancient Egyptians used to store the brain and intestines in jars apart from but in close vicinity to the mummified bodies.

[Emily Brent]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Continuing the suite of delegating my corpse for the extended purpose of sharing the Good News:

My locks will be darned into wigs for puppets, intended for recreating Biblical stories in a visually appeasing way for children to come to Jesus.

Any left over skin not used for the bound Bible will be repurposed for said finger puppets instead.


Unfortunately, years of a stern disposition has left me bereft of any bodily tallow that would be of use to anyone.


Intestines I cannot think of use for, they can be discarded.

[Isabella White]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Continuing the suite of delegating my corpse for the extended purpose of sharing the Good News:

My locks will be darned into wigs for puppets, intended for recreating Biblical stories in a visually appeasing way for children to come to Jesus.

Any left over skin not used for the bound Bible will be repurposed for said finger puppets instead.

Unfortunately, years of a stern disposition has left me bereft of any bodily tallow that would be of use to anyone.

Intestines I cannot think of use for, they can be discarded.

Thank you, Miss Brent. I shall put this in my TMI file (Too Much Information).

Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Basilissa]

Re: My welcome thread i guess.

Intestines I cannot think of use for, they can be discarded.

Based on what you shared about yourself so far, I imagine that you must have 20 or more cats living with you. I'm sure that if you leave your intestines for them, they will find a use for them.