Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

[Beethoven]

I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hi its me Beethoven

I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.

Hi Beto (can I call you Beto? Great) - that was not much of an introduction, was it?


Rather than trying to pass for a zombie, why don't you be truthful and tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus - you know, like it says on the top of this forum?

[Isabella White]

Re: Hi its me Beethoven

I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.

Dear Miss Not-Beethoven: Well, I will give you marks for successfully finding our friendly Introduction Forum at , but I see that you have overlooked our very clear requests at the top of the page, which I shall include here, for your benefit:

The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

We look forward to reading your proper introductory message, Dear.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Hi its me Beethoven

I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.

No you haven't. The only ones who have risen from the dead are Lazarus (John 11:43-44) through the power of God, the Lord Jesus Himself, and, come the Glory, all of the dead (1 Thessalonians 4:16). Anything else would be a vile sin (Deuteronomy 18:10-12). Now how about you tell us who you REALLY are and join us in fellowship? The real Beethoven was a deist and he's in Hell right now.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hi its me Beethoven

I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.

OK, young man, I'll take your word for it but you've got some explaining to do. First, the hubris: after all these centuries you surely understand that music has no real spiritual function unless it proclaims the glory of Jesus and President Trump. In addition, it should be of decent quality. Now, let's assess how you did. The masses in C and Missa solemnis are just there to spite Jesus with the Muslim-Catholic heresy of the papal "mass" formula. Dismissed.

Next, the deafness. The 3rd movement of the 9th is OK especially with the second theme group by the violas but the finale... I know you were deaf and the the pitch for orchestral tuning has risen up to 445 Hz in some cases, but, still, the sopranos and tenors have to scream so high in the range that the Schöpfer surely ahnet that someone is squeezing their sperm factories. Dismissed. What about the lower 8? We have about one good melody. 1st and 2nd are just recycled Wolfie. The finale of the 3rd starts OK but the slow section is just so boring. No-one cares for the 4th. The finale of 5th? OK, the attacca is a first one but the second coda, the prestissimo, is just too much overkill and frankly an embarassment. The 6th was OK in Soylent green and as elevator muzak but that's it. The 7th? Yes, the second movement is glorious and your best but then the banality of the finale destroys all that is pure and immaculate. No-one cares for the 8th.

Concertos? The violin concerto has the good 1st movement, the triple concerto is best forgotten, the 4th for piano is the first among peers but I'll take the Frantz Xaver Mozart in E flat any day over your E flat. Hammer-caviar? Well, there's hammering. Overtures? Try to decide upon one good Leonore! Songs! Mignon's song is OK but I feel sad for the Maultier who sucht sein Weg in the Nebel. Kreutzer-sonate or cello-sonata? No sight of Jesus! And then we have the für Elise that has been instrumental in spreading more syphilis than the combined efforts of Napoleon's army.

Ok. Explain and repent. Your music has become a false God. There's even a precedent.

Daniel 3:10
Thou, O king, hast made a decree, that every man that shall hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, shall fall down and worship the golden image:

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Hi its me Beethoven

We do not permit impersonation on this forum. Pseudonyms are tolerated, if you don't mind everyone thinking you're a wimp.

Why Beethoven?

Are you a furry?



Are are you claiming to be as older than anyone has been since the Old Testament?



I'm skeptical, but since the photo was taken by a monarchist I'm willing to take it seriously.

The only other possibility is that you are a clone.

Edit: is it a Clockwork Orange reference? I've always thought I should do a review of that film. It may be the most predictive work of science fiction ever made.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

I'm starting a pool on how fast this one gets into quarantine.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

I'm starting a pool on how fast this one gets into quarantine.

Perhaps Brother, or perhaps a volunteer for conversion therapy?

18 Queer Composers Who Made Music History

One of the most famous composers of all time, Ludwig van Beethoven as far as history can tell never had a sexual relationship with a woman but clearly pined for a number of men in his life. He seemed to yearn for his brother Casper, and after Casper’s death, he fought his sister-in-law to ultimately become the guardian of his nephew Karl, according to research published by Rictor Norton. How healthy was the relationship? To Ludwig, it seemed almost like a marriage, but the love may not always have been reciprocated, as many preserved letters show the composer angry when the younger Beethoven would bring other men home.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

Good grief, Brother Dr. Toole, Sir! The link you provide is truly nauseating.

Karl was withdrawn from his tutor to live with his uncle from 1818, when the composer began his Ninth Symphony. Beethoven used a German phrase, acknowledging that he "clung to him like button to trousers" — a telling choice of metaphor.

Even disregarding the curious ambiguity of the word "withdrawn", that does go some way towards further clarifying Brother Professor Dr. White's comment upthread about that particular symphony.

... the sopranos and tenors have to scream so high in the range that the Schöpfer surely ahnet that someone is squeezing their sperm factories.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

Perhaps Brother, or perhaps a volunteer for conversion therapy?

If I thought for a moment that Beethoven wasn't just a low grade troll, I'd recommend an exorcism at the Landover Baptist Home for the Demonically Possessed. But I suspect he's just another 13 year old who's upset that his mommy won't let him wear pink frilly dresses and play with Barbie dolls. We get a lot of that here.

I suppose that if he opens his heart to Jesus, we might be able to straighten him out. But I'm not holding out much hope.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

If I thought for a moment that Beethoven wasn't just a low grade troll, I'd recommend an exorcism at the Landover Baptist Home for the Demonically Possessed. But I suspect he's just another 13 year old who's upset that his mommy won't let him wear pink frilly dresses and play with Barbie dolls. We get a lot of that here.

I suppose that if he opens his heart to Jesus, we might be able to straighten him out. But I'm not holding out much hope.

They're letting them all out these days because of the rona. This one is not taking his Thorazine.

We have Trump to thank these days for Hillary (who was known for "channeling" Eleanor Roosevelt) not being president.

And then there is Beethoven's Choral Fantasy.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

They're letting them all out these days because of the rona. This one is not taking his Thorazine.

We have Trump to thank these days for Hillary (who was known for "channeling" Eleanor Roosevelt) not being president.

And then there is Beethoven's Choral Fantasy.

Amen, Brother William. Anyone who would come on this forum and impersonate a historical figure is clearly unbalanced.

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: Hi, I'm a lunatic psycho who thinks I'm Beethoven

I have woken up from the dead and decided to join your lovely forum to share my love towards religion and Jesus.

Sadly your Jesus is a false Jesus due to you being Catholic and your music is lousy. Even Justin Bieber is closer to Jesus than you ever were.

We have no use for your Sauerkraut music, Beethoven.