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Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs. -
Re: are u all effing serious?
I think he feels the Love
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: are u all effing serious?
What did you expect? Abusing Gods favorite language like that?Originally posted by lol123 View Postoh noes i got an infraction
my dyslexia shows??
U didnt even mention anything in my last post.
On that note im off for the day. I may be back at a later date.
Find yourself a KJV-bible and start reading. Maybe, MAYBE it's not too late.
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Re: are u all effing serious?
He's still here.
Can't keep away.
Hello Mr LOL.
Jesus Loves you.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: are u all effing serious?
lol123,
I want you to try this exercise that Sister Mary Maria taught me whe I was still a homosexual. It really puts things into perspective for the non-believer.
If you have a fireplace at home then great, but if not then go to your local campground. Please be sure to follow local fire laws for safety of others.
Now light a fire and let it burn really hot for a few minutes. Then stick your hand into the fire and keep it there no matter how much it hurts. Now while your hand is burning imagine this sensation all over your entire body, coming out of your mouth, out of your eye sockets, out of your anus. After you have done this imagine what it would be like to experience this for the rest of eternity, never being able to escape the flames.
This is what life will be like for you after you die for the rest of eternity if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour.
Think about it.Comment
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Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.Comment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
Interesting that a sodomite would mention corn (i.e. cornholing) we do not do that here.
Originally posted by twinkie View Post
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.Comment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
interesting that you would put a phrase ive never heard of while making false accusations against someone u dont know. and im not gay. im high.Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.Comment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
What drugs are you high on today, twinkletoes? Come on now, you can confide in us! We're compassionate True Christians™ here! Wouldn't you like the sweet love of Jesus instead of the vile and sinful deathstyle you are leading? You'll thank us later, you know!Originally posted by twinkie View Post
Grimly, Sister Noddy
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...Comment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
It would be good if the DOF could institute some kind of system in the JesOS that would be able to test new users for drug use and keep them out some way. People like you really lower the quality of our fine forum. SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!!Originally posted by twinkie View PostComment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
Why are people so angry? and more importantly, why do all these angry people show up here?
and why do they ask stupid questions that they already know the answer to?
There is no god! You are all dammed to a meaningless existance until you die, and then you are even more meaninless and forgotten then before!
Call it a secure location; call it mommy's lap; call if hell if you wish but please just go to there right now!
I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!Comment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
You monkey worshiping atheists are hateful and unhappy by nature. Since you have no morality and no reason to live, all you do is make yourselves and everyone you meet miserable.Originally posted by Star Finder View PostWhy are people so angry? and more importantly, why do all these angry people show up here?
and why do they ask stupid questions that they already know the answer to?
There is no god! You are all dammed to a meaningless existance until you die, and then you are even more meaninless and forgotten then before!
Call it a secure location; call it mommy's lap; call if hell if you wish but please just go to there right now!
Accept Christ now, before it's too late.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
We're as serious as the flames of Hell, son. If you don't get your life (and portfolio) a-ok with Jesus before he comes back for normal people like us, he's gonna fling your sorry behind into Hell where Satan and his demons can tear your soul apart into millions of tiny pieces over and over for all eternity with continuing nuance! Have you ever had the skin boiled off your body? I'd get used to the feeling if I were you! Please realize that what I'm saying isn't anti-you. It's just pro-Landover. Why can't you just leave your atheistical ways behind you and act like a normal person (us)? Can you see that we only want to help? We don't mind spending eternity with Saved™ people because we have things in common with them, and currently, we just have nothing in common with you. If you were to go to Heaven right now, who would you talk to? So get your life lined up with Jesus and the Bible, rearrange your portfolio to accommodate a ten percent decrease, and maybe we'll put in a good word for you.Originally posted by lolly View PostComment
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Re: are u all effing serious?
I'll wager she does.Originally posted by Talitha View Post...I'll be serving my CupCakes right after Church if you fancy a nibble.
Sadly, the misguided souls who run this poor excuse for a Church do more to harm the good name of Christianity than they can possibly imagine. Trust me when I tell you that the keys to the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father are not left to the hands of money grubbing Baptwits with a poorly translated Bible and rusty Pintos sitting on blocks in front of their sister's/wife's soon to be repossessed trailer.
Fortunately, for those who truly seek the rewards of God's love, The Roman Catholic Church is still helping to bring the light of The Lord to the darkest corners of mankind's failings.
If Twinkie or any of the others who have the courage to stand up to these Billy-Bob-Bullies wishes to really learn about the Bible I can be reached via pm. I would be more than happy to spend whatever time it takes with the impressionable youth of today in an effort to bring the true joy of God's love directly to you.
Bless you, my curious sinners,
Father Mo
.A Cardinal in the making.
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