[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

Thanks, I think? When I stare at those little guys too long they start to look like skittles.

You're right. That CAN'T be a coincidence.

[J.Shaddix]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

A rainbow wave of cartoon queers to cheer you on for that insight, Brother Nobar!

Mr. Shaddix does seem sincere, however I do suspect him of harboring closeted homosexual desires and unconsciously projecting gay innuendo into his speech to alleviate the pressures his superego imposes upon his psyche!

I did have some impure thoughts about other men when I was in high school. But I've managed to suppress those urges as much as I possibly can through prayer. (Not easy when you attend public school)
I do catch myself looking at other men occasionally, but when I do I always pray silently to myself until the urge passes.

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

I did have some impure thoughts about other men when I was in high school. But I've managed to suppress those urges as much as I possibly can through prayer. (Not easy when you attend public school)
I do catch myself looking at other men occasionally, but when I do I always pray silently to myself until the urge passes.

Ah, so I was spot-on with my psychoanalysis of you!

Now that you have come out of the closet, and revealed your true self, I must warn you of the dire consequences of following the homosexual lifestyle. I, for one, am a former victim of the sodomite vice!

In the late 1960s and early 1970's I had sex with thousands of men, most of them anonymously. I started getting a rep around the interstates and truckstops of the Western US as the "Sippie Hippie" because of my addiction to bathroom glory holes and swallowing. Needless to say, that lifestyle, or should I say Deathstyle wrought upon me various STDs...Herpes, anal warts, gonorrhea, and syphilis.

I knew I hit rock-bottom when I was riding with another hobo in a train car and he had this perverted leering look and he says: "Hey, you want this can of pork 'n beans? You get over here and suck my dick!" I was starving and hadn't eaten for two days, so I was willing. I went down and just before he ejaculated he adds: "If you want to use my can opener, you gotta swallow". So I did. All for a can of pork 'n beans. It doesn't get any worse than that.

Fortunately, it all changed when I met SPACESHIP JESUS in 1974 and since that day I've only delved exclusively with females. GAY NO MORE SINCE NINETEEN SEVENTY FOUR!

[J.Shaddix]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

Ah, so I was spot-on with my psychoanalysis of you!

Now that you have come out of the closet, and revealed your true self, I must warn you of the dire consequences of following the homosexual lifestyle. I, for one, am a former victim of the sodomite vice!

In the late 1960s and early 1970's I had sex with thousands of men, most of them anonymously. I started getting a rep around the interstates and truckstops of the Western US as the "Sippie Hippie" because of my addiction to bathroom glory holes and swallowing. Needless to say, that lifestyle, or should I say Deathstyle wrought upon me various STDs...Herpes, anal warts, gonorrhea, and syphilis.

I knew I hit rock-bottom when I was riding with another hobo in a train car and he had this perverted leering look and he says: "Hey, you want this can of pork 'n beans? You get over here and suck my dick!" I was starving and hadn't eaten for two days, so I was willing. I went down and just before he ejaculated he adds: "If you want to use my can opener, you gotta swallow". So I did. All for a can of pork 'n beans. It doesn't get any worse than that.

Fortunately, it all changed when I met SPACESHIP JESUS in 1974 and since that day I've only delved exclusively with females. GAY NO MORE SINCE NINETEEN SEVENTY FOUR!

That's horrifying!
I'm amazed you were able to leave before it was too late. Praise Jesus!


Although, I'm confused about this "Spaceship Jesus" you keep referring to...

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

Are those tattoos I see on your arms or is it that you don't wash above the wrist? The Lord's none too keen on tattoos...

[Mechanix]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

I haven't heard of anything so gay since Dodge released the Caliber.

I've never agreed with something so much in my life! You ever tried to work on one of those peices of junk? Who in thier right mind thinks its a wise decision to put the spark plug ports under the exahust headers?? And what's with all the plastic crap covering the entire engine bay??

but anyway, I digress.... continue your forum uninterupted (untill the next time I feel the need to spout off about something completely unrelated)

[Joe Rolandowsky]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

I have a bad feeling about this guy. Once a homer, always a homer.

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

I have a bad feeling about this guy. Once a homer, always a homer.

No, brother! It is possible for someone to be ex-gay!

[Joe Rolandowsky]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

No, brother! It is possible for someone to be ex-gay!

Do you think this homer is willing to go through the purification process?

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

Do you think this homer is willing to go through the purification process?

No, but if a True Christian™ were willing to break his will show him the reality of Christ, I'm sure he would repent.

[Joe Rolandowsky]

Re: I guess this is where I start...

Perhaps the OP will be able to attend the mini-seminar that we are discussing in THIS thread. I am sure we can jerk the "gay" right out of him.