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  • Nice parody site

    You atheists have nothing better to do, huh? Why don't you make a parody site for Islam or Hinduism? Because you know Christianity is the truth.

    Losers.

  • #2
    Step away from the glue, Karen, and think about the accusations you are making. If you can provide one single bit of evidence that a True Christiantm has spoken in opposition to the Holy Bible, I will personally donate $500 dollars to the false-Christian charity of your choice. My guess is it's some hippie Jesus garbage, the kind that promotes that woke mind virus that killed Elon Musk's son and countless others.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by JamboJamba View Post
      You atheists have nothing better to do, huh? Why don't you make a parody site for Islam or Hinduism? Because you know Christianity is the truth.
      Losers.
      So you claim to be a Christian and then do not quote from the Bible. Only an atheist putting up a smoke screen of being "Christian" does that. Sorry, atheist, we're on to you. We were called to run this Christian site for True ChristiansTM.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by JamboJamba View Post
        You atheists have nothing better to do, huh? Why don't you make a parody site for Islam or Hinduism? Because you know Christianity is the truth.

        Losers.
        Dear Miss Jumbo: I will be thanking you not to speak disrespectfully of , and the followers of the who congregate here. Clearly, Satan has inspired you to write those hateful words — particularly since you are recommending that we should make sites for Hindoos or Mooslimes. What you need to do — instead of picking on — is to repent of your sins and blasphemy. Only then will you ever have a chance when you stand before the on Judgment Day!


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        (Mrs.) Isabella White

        Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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        • #5
          Sister Isabella, I think your forceful sign did the job. The atheist accusing us of sin has been sent packing.
          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
            Sister Isabella, I think your forceful sign did the job. The atheist accusing us of sin has been sent packing.
            Well, praise the for that, dear Brother Mayor Hold. We cannot be having the devil's children attempting to disrupt the sanctity of . will not tolerate it — He will not stand for such foolishness!

            Proverbs 12:1 "Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish.​"

            I Timothy 5:20 "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.​"
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            (Mrs.) Isabella White

            Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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            • #7
              Originally posted by JamboJamba View Post
              Because you know Christianity is the truth.
              Christians also know that Christianity is the truth.
              This makes atheists and Christians the same people.
              I assure you that they are not.
              Losers.
              The only losers around here are those who have created a god in their own image and are worshipping him.

              You will find that the entire site is Biblically correct and supported by scripture. If you deny this, you are calling God a liar.

              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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              • #8
                Brother Bathfire, pointing out that our erstwhile visitor has-- in his foolishness-- essentially equated atheists with Christians is so astute.

                As 2 Corinthians 6:14, 15 tells us:

                Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
                His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                Guns For God and the Economy

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                • #9
                  We at Landover Baptist treat Christian parody with contempt. REBUKE is what we have to say about an enactment of the Last Supper be heathens in drag at the Olympic Games:

                  Christians react to drag Last Supper, debauchery at Paris Olympic | Entertainment (christianpost.com)

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                  Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by JamboJamba View Post
                    You atheists
                    Originally posted by JamboJamba View Post
                    you know Christianity is the truth.
                    So are we atheists, or do we know Christianity is the truth?

                    Let me rephrase your post.

                    It's kind of like saying "Why are you people who don't believe in Jesus pretending to believe in Jesus? Because you know there is a Jesus and that Jesus is the truth!"

                    Please walk me through the logic of how you determined that we're atheists and that we can simultaneously be atheists while also knowing Christianity is the truth.

                    If you can't, then just take our statements at face value and acknowledge that we're sincere in our devotion to Jesus.
                    Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Prayer Warrior View Post

                      So are we atheists, or do we know Christianity is the truth?

                      Let me rephrase your post.

                      It's kind of like saying "Why are you people who don't believe in Jesus pretending to believe in Jesus? Because you know there is a Jesus and that Jesus is the truth!"

                      Please walk me through the logic of how you determined that we're atheists and that we can simultaneously be atheists while also knowing Christianity is the truth.

                      If you can't, then just take our statements at face value and acknowledge that we're sincere in our devotion to Jesus.
                      Oh, I don't think that we shall see this troubled, sinful, piece of UNSAVED TRASH at again, dear Brother Warrior. It appears that she has realized the error of her ways. And, it is entirely possible that the showed that He had no time for such blasphemous shenanigans — one cannot help but marvel at how quickly Almighty honors precious promises!

                      Romans 12:19 "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the .​"



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                      (Mrs.) Isabella White

                      Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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                      • #12
                        Agree with all our doctrines or burn.

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                        • #13
                          Great, another person that thinks The Truth(tm) is a big joke. When you die, we will see if you are still laughing.
                          Consider this:
                          You're riding your bike, all proud because your dad took off the training wheels. A Good Humor truck comes and runs over your gut, causing your body to burst and spray entrails all over the street.

                          You're dead
                          Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begins falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
                          As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
                          Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save© your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

                          Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                          • #14
                            I'm a newbie too. I don't think this is a parody site. I read some of the threads before joining, and these people seem to have the courage of their convictions. In their worldview, they're living their lives by the examples mentioned in the Bible. If anyone can pull that off in the modern age without changing their stripes, I find it very impressive. I also think it's not good to accuse anyone of anything wrong on a forum if you're new.

                            Take care. May Krishna guide you to a better mind.

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