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  • Camrean
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jul 2009
    • 25

    #1

    Hello

    Hello, Landover Church forum members.

    I was linked here from another forum, and I had seen that I need to post an introduction thread, so here I am.

    I do not like to use my own name or picture on the internet, so I use the name of a character in one of my in-progress novels.

    I am a Baptist Christian, I have been raised as a Baptist Christian, and try to go to church when I can. Unfortunately, the only local church in my town has shut down because of financial problems, so I have been unable to attend as of late.

    I have joined this forum because I find the views represented here interesting and worthy of discussion.

    I look forward to talking with all of you.
  • Brother Lazarus
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Jul 2008
    • 1062

    #2
    Re: Hello

    Originally posted by Camrean View Post
    Hello, Landover Church forum members.

    I was linked here from another forum, and I had seen that I need to post an introduction thread, so here I am.

    I do not like to use my own name or picture on the internet, so I use the name of a character in one of my in-progress novels.

    I am a Baptist Christian, I have been raised as a Baptist Christian, and try to go to church when I can. Unfortunately, the only local church in my town has shut down because of financial problems, so I have been unable to attend as of late.

    I have joined this forum because I find the views represented here interesting and worthy of discussion.

    I look forward to talking with all of you.
    Welcome to God's favorite forum where your proper spelling, grammar, punctuation and sentence structure are appreciated!

    It's unfortunate that your church shut down, perhaps you didn't tithe enough?

    What forum were you linked here from?

    And thank you for following proper church protocol.

    Yours in Christ
    Brother Lazarus
    In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

    Comment

    • Pastor Isaac Peters
      Senior Pastor
      Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
      Always Biblically correct
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 10639

      #3
      Re: Hello

      Welcome. What is your favorite verse from the King James Bible? What did that other church do to anger God so much?
      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

      Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

      sigpic

      Comment

      • Repentant Liberal
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Nov 2008
        • 103

        #4
        Re: Hello

        What did you mean by: "I go to church when I can"? Is this only in reference to being unable to attend your church since God closed it for being too coddling of sinners, or did you fail to keep the Sabbath holy and worked on Sundays instead of going?

        Comment

        • Camrean
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Jul 2009
          • 25

          #5
          Re: Hello

          Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
          Welcome. What is your favorite verse from the King James Bible? What did that other church do to anger God so much?
          My favorite are Job 40:9: "Have you an arm like God? Or can you thunder with a voice like His?"

          To answer your second question, I don't know, to be honest.

          Originally posted by Repentant Liberal View Post
          What did you mean by: "I go to church when I can"? Is this only in reference to being unable to attend your church since God closed it for being too coddling of sinners, or did you fail to keep the Sabbath holy and worked on Sundays instead of going?
          Oh, no, nothing of that sort. I just meant that my alarm clock rarely functions correctly, and so I often oversleep.

          Comment

          • Rev. Jim Osborne
            True Christian™ Televangelist
            Director of Fundraising and Tithing
            On the Look Out for Wife #6!
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2009
            • 8622

            #6
            Re: Hello

            Originally posted by Camrean View Post
            Oh, no, nothing of that sort. I just meant that my alarm clock rarely functions correctly, and so I often oversleep.
            Because you are out late Saturday nights drinking, whoring, blaspheming, revelring, gambling, and doing all manners of vice?

            Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

            Comment

            • Camrean
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jul 2009
              • 25

              #7
              Re: Hello

              Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
              Because you are out late Saturday nights drinking, whoring, blaspheming, revelring, gambling, and doing all manners of vice?
              No, definitely not.

              Why do you assume such Reverend?

              Comment

              • Ezekiel Bathfire
                Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                Christ's Rottweiler
                 
                • Jan 2008
                • 22889

                #8
                Re: Hello

                Originally posted by Camrean View Post
                Oh, no, nothing of that sort. I just meant that my alarm clock rarely functions correctly, and so I often oversleep.
                Heb:6:10: For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.
                Heb:6:11: And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end:
                Heb:6:12: That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                Comment

                • Camrean
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Jul 2009
                  • 25

                  #9
                  Re: Hello

                  Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                  Heb:6:10: For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.
                  Heb:6:11: And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end:
                  Heb:6:12: That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
                  What exactly are you saying there, Ezekiel?

                  Comment

                  • Brother Lazarus
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 1062

                    #10
                    Re: Hello

                    Originally posted by Camrean View Post
                    What exactly are you saying there, Ezekiel?
                    Ezekiel is warning you about being slothful, or lazy. If your alarm is not working correctly, you are being lazy by not replacing it.

                    Yours in Christ
                    Brother Lazarus
                    In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

                    Comment

                    • Ezekiel Bathfire
                      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                      Christ's Rottweiler
                       
                      • Jan 2008
                      • 22889

                      #11
                      Re: Hello

                      Originally posted by Camrean View Post
                      What exactly are you saying there, Ezekiel?
                      It's "Mr Bathfire" to you and I am saying that you have been, by your own words, slothful in not rising to praise The Lord.

                      You know full well that the alarm clock has not been reliable and you are using it as an excuse - and a feeble one at that.

                      That is what I am saying.
                      sigpic


                      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                      Author of such illuminating essays as,
                      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                      Comment

                      • Camrean
                        Confirmed Enemy of God
                        • Jul 2009
                        • 25

                        #12
                        Re: Hello

                        Originally posted by Brother Lazarus View Post
                        Ezekiel is warning you about being slothful, or lazy. If your alarm is not working correctly, you are being lazy by not replacing it.

                        Yours in Christ
                        Brother Lazarus
                        Yes, I really should replace it. I'll go buy a new one tomorrow when I buy new lightbulbs.

                        Oh, and about my oversleeping, I have chronic insomnia, and so it is very difficult for me to get to sleep. But when I do, I sleep for a long time.

                        Comment

                        • Camrean
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Jul 2009
                          • 25

                          #13
                          Re: Hello

                          Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                          It's "Mr Bathfire" to you and I am saying that you have been, by your own words, slothful in not rising to praise The Lord.

                          You know full well that the alarm clock has not been reliable and you are using it as an excuse - and a feeble one at that.

                          That is what I am saying.
                          Alright, sorry, Mr. Bathfire.

                          Comment

                          • James Hutchins
                            True Christian™
                            Just a Regular Nice Guy
                             
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 29453

                            #14
                            Re: Hello

                            Goid is not worth a decent alarm clock?

                            Although, I never use them. I am asleep by 9PM, cannot stay in bed past 4AM.

                            Either Church services are real early where you live or the Chuch must be very far away.
                            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Isaac Peters
                              Senior Pastor
                              Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                              Always Biblically correct
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 10639

                              #15
                              Re: Hello

                              Originally posted by Camrean View Post
                              Oh, and about my oversleeping, I have chronic insomnia, and so it is very difficult for me to get to sleep. But when I do, I sleep for a long time.
                              Have you sought faith healing for your insomnia?
                              This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                              Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                              sigpic

                              Comment

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