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  • jsmith23
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Nov 2009
    • 12
    #1

    Hello world

    As Pastor Ezekiel has strongly encouraged me to do, here I am.

    Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste.
    I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a mans soul and faith.

    Pleased to meet you, Hope you guess my name.
    But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.

    I rode a tank, held a general's rank
    when the Blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank.

    Just as every cop is a criminal and all the sinners saints
    as heads is tails just call me , cause I'm in need of some restraint.
    Tags: None
    • Rev. Jim Osborne
      True Christian™ Televangelist
      Director of Fundraising and Tithing
      On the Look Out for Wife #6!
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2009
      • 8622
      #2
      Re: Hello world

      Why don't you give us your real introduction instead of quoting that stupid Stones song like a million other trolls have done before you.

      Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

        Comment

        • jsmith23
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Nov 2009
          • 12
          #3
          Re: Hello world

          Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
          Why don't you give us your real introduction instead of quoting that stupid Stones song like a million other trolls have done before you.
          I just felt like the occasion demanded it.

          Anyway, I am John Smith. I grew up in New Hampshire and I was recently saved by the First Baptists church on Peaks Island in Maine. I am 23 and have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. If you have any other questions just shoot.

            Comment

            • Ezekiel Bathfire
              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
              Christ's Rottweiler
               
              • Jan 2008
              • 22887
              #4
              Re: Hello world

              Those first baptists; what bible did they use?
              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                Comment

                • jsmith23
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Nov 2009
                  • 12
                  #5
                  Re: Hello world

                  They use the King James. At least, they do whenever I go there. Maybe they switch out with the Good News bible when I'm not looking.

                    Comment

                    • Brother Enoch
                      The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2008
                      • 4392
                      #6
                      Re: Hello world

                      Originally posted by jsmith23 View Post
                      I was recently saved by the First Baptists church on Peaks Island in Maine.
                      That's odd. I thought sinners were saved by Christ.

                      Live and learn, I guess.

                        Comment

                        • jsmith23
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Nov 2009
                          • 12
                          #7
                          Re: Hello world

                          Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
                          That's odd. I thought sinners were saved by Christ.

                          Live and learn, I guess.
                          I WAS saved by Christ, it just so happened that it was at the First Baptist Church on Peaks Island.

                            Comment

                            • Nobar King
                              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                              Christ's Guardian
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 23748
                              #8
                              Re: Hello world

                              Originally posted by jsmith23 View Post
                              I WAS saved by Christ,
                              What happened? Did you renounce Christianity?
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                Comment

                                • Pastor Ezekiel
                                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                   
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 78556
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello world

                                  Originally posted by jsmith23 View Post
                                  I WAS saved by Christ, it just so happened that it was at the First Baptist Church on Peaks Island.
                                  Liar.

                                  Saved(c) Christians are incapable of sin and blasphemy.

                                  It's obvious that you were never really Saved(c).
                                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                    Comment

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