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  • Lynne has RETURNED!
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jan 2010
    • 6
    #1

    Hello!

    I hope you all remember me, the girl who you named (with no evidences whatsoever) "Lynne the lezbo". Well, I have returned.


    I do hope my stay is easier this time, since I am eager to learn from the Bible.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Hello!

      Originally posted by Lynne has RETURNED! View Post
      I hope you all remember me, the girl who you named (with no evidences whatsoever) "Lynne the lezbo". Well, I have returned.


      I do hope my stay is easier this time, since I am eager to learn from the Bible.
      Weren't you banned last time? What do you want? Did satan send you?
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Lynne has RETURNED!
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Jan 2010
          • 6
          #3
          Re: Hello!

          No, I just changed my mind. I just want to learn, really.

          I got married a week ago and my husband is a True Christian, who is beginning to instruct me in the ways of Christianity. Please, I am eager to learn.

            Comment

            • GOD=life
              WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
              True Christian™
              • Jan 2010
              • 3263
              #4
              Re: Hello!

              Why can't your husband teach you?

              Does he know you are going here behind his back?
              I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

              Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
              Matthew 7:22               Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
              Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

              Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                Comment

                • Lynne has RETURNED!
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 6
                  #5
                  Re: Hello!

                  He actually forced me to come back here and apologize for all the damage I've done. I'm obeying him by being in this forum and asking for your advice. My husband also says he has no time for womanly nonsense, so he'd rather send me here to read, ask, and learn.

                  Please, I am eager to learn.

                    Comment

                    • Nobar King
                      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                      Christ's Guardian
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 23748
                      #6
                      Re: Hello!

                      Originally posted by Lynne has RETURNED! View Post
                      I got married a week ago and my husband is a True Christian.
                      I doubt it. What True Christian man would marry a lesbo like you?
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                        Comment

                        • Lynne has RETURNED!
                          Unsaved trash
                          Under Investigation
                          • Jan 2010
                          • 6
                          #7
                          Re: Hello!

                          Mr. Nobar King, please, do not judge me anymore.

                          I have corrected my homosexual ways and decided to follow the Bible word-by-word, please, teach me.

                            Comment

                            • Nobar King
                              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                              Christ's Guardian
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 23748
                              #8
                              Re: Hello!

                              I'm not licensed to teach the Bible. I just follow it.
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                Comment

                                • Jed_Cassidy
                                  True Christian™
                                  True Christian™
                                  • May 2009
                                  • 289
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello!

                                  Originally posted by Lynne has RETURNED! View Post
                                  No, I just changed my mind. I just want to learn, really.

                                  I got married a week ago and my husband is a True Christian, who is beginning to instruct me in the ways of Christianity. Please, I am eager to learn.
                                  Let God/us be the judge of that, lady. You're gonna have to back up this claim. What is your husband's username on these Godly Forums? What's his trade? What church does he attend?

                                  You're being given a second chance. Praise their Pastors for the Christ-like patience!
                                  Matthew 7:15
                                  Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

                                    Comment

                                    • GOD=life
                                      WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Jan 2010
                                      • 3263
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hello!

                                      A man who sends his wife to other men... ok....

                                      This is not one of those "open relationships", is it?
                                      I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                                      Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                                      Matthew 7:22                                       Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                                      Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                                      Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                                        Comment

                                        • Lynne has RETURNED!
                                          Unsaved trash
                                          Under Investigation
                                          • Jan 2010
                                          • 6
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hello!

                                          Then help me learn with the basics of the Holy Bible, I want to live in His glory every day of my life! He has helped me change drastically in a few days, and made me realize the sinful ways I had been living.

                                            Comment

                                            • Ezekiel Bathfire
                                              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                                              Christ's Rottweiler
                                               
                                              • Jan 2008
                                              • 22922
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hello!

                                              I have found that the best way to learn is to teach; why don't you get out there on the boards and teach the hoards of unwashed, unsaved and uneducated of the compassion, beauty and mercy that is God?
                                              sigpic


                                              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                                              Author of such illuminating essays as,
                                              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                                                Comment

                                                • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                   
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 78556
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Hello!

                                                  Originally posted by Lynne has RETURNED! View Post
                                                  He actually forced me to come back here and apologize for all the damage I've done. I'm obeying him by being in this forum and asking for your advice. My husband also says he has no time for womanly nonsense, so he'd rather send me here to read, ask, and learn.

                                                  Please, I am eager to learn.
                                                  Okay then, apologize. 500 words minimum, and grammar and spelling count.

                                                  Get busy.
                                                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Lynne has RETURNED!
                                                      Unsaved trash
                                                      Under Investigation
                                                      • Jan 2010
                                                      • 6
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Hello!

                                                      Mr. Bathfire, of course I will! It is my life's goal to teach other atheists the glory of Jesus Christ!

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Cranky Old Man
                                                          Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                                                          You kids get off his lawn!
                                                           
                                                          • Jan 2010
                                                          • 22380
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Hello!

                                                          Originally posted by Lynne has RETURNED! View Post
                                                          Mr. Bathfire, of course I will! It is my life's goal to teach other atheists the glory of Jesus Christ!
                                                          Counting to 500 too complicated?
                                                          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                                                          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                                                          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                                                            Comment

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