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  • Introducing Myself..

    Hello everyone, just thought I'd introduce myself here. This is my first post on the site. I'm not really sure what to say so here's a snippet about myself-

    My name is John. I'm a Christian gentleman from the south, where I attend college. I have a girlfriend (sorry ladies), but she and I are both devout Christians and the extent of our affection has only reached hand-holding and that's as far as it will go until we are wed under the eyes of God.

    I hope, by joining this site, to make some friends with similar interests as well as voice my opinions in the topics here.

    Feel free to say hi!

  • #2
    Re: Introducing Myself..

    Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
    Feel free to say hi!
    hi, Mr.humbleservant!

    it real good that you founds our forums, but our pastors gonna wants to no where you go to churchs an what be your favorite bible verses an stuff

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    • #3
      Re: Introducing Myself..

      Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
      Hello everyone, just thought I'd introduce myself here. This is my first post on the site. I'm not really sure what to say so here's a snippet about myself-

      My name is John. I'm a Christian gentleman from the south, where I attend college. I have a girlfriend (sorry ladies), but she and I are both devout Christians and the extent of our affection has only reached hand-holding and that's as far as it will go until we are wed under the eyes of God.

      I hope, by joining this site, to make some friends with similar interests as well as voice my opinions in the topics here.

      Feel free to say hi!
      Are you an Independent Bible Literalist Baptist? I hope so, as you seem like a nice fellow and I would hate to think you were headed to Hell. Welcome to our Godly forum!
      Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


      sigpic

      Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

      Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

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      • #4
        Re: Introducing Myself..

        I would say the name of the church, but for the sake of my family and girlfriend, I will not. I know there are lots of weirdos on the internet who look for church and town names so that they can come and insult the people of God to their faces and I don't want to put my loved ones through that. I hope that's alright.

        But of course I will tell you my favorite Bible verse!

        Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthenth me."

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        • #5
          Re: Introducing Myself..

          Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
          Are you an Independent Bible Literalist Baptist? I hope so, as you seem like a nice fellow and I would hate to think you were headed to Hell. Welcome to our Godly forum!
          And yes I am, of course, this site was recommended to me by a fellow believer; and thank you kindly for the welcome.

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          • #6
            Re: Introducing Myself..

            Welcome, John to God's Favorite Forum(tm). Philippians is a fine book, no doubt. I am glad that you and your girlfriend have resisted the temptation of MTV and the rest of Satan's guises that want to lead you into fornication. Tell me, young man, how old are you? What do you do for a living?

            Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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            • #7
              Re: Introducing Myself..

              Welcome, Brother John!

              Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
              I hope, by joining this site, to make some friends with similar interests as well as voice my opinions in the topics here.
              As long as your opinion is the same as God's opinion, which we can read in the Bible, that should not be a problem. Note, however, that this is not a debate forum, so it doesn't matter anyway.

              Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
              I would say the name of the church, but for the sake of my family and girlfriend, I will not. I know there are lots of weirdos on the internet who look for church and town names so that they can come and insult the people of God to their faces and I don't want to put my loved ones through that. I hope that's alright.
              Well, though we get a lot of weirdoes here, who for some reason (I say it's the urging of the Holy Spirit) are drawn towards these forums. You might, for example, encounter some pillaging vikings from Iceland around here these days.

              However, as far as I know, all death threats and stuff are always directed at the Landover Baptist Church, and the DoF is more than able to cope with them, so I don't think it would be a problem if you would tell us what kind of church you attend.
              But I respect your choice, as you seem to be a Good Christian.

              But of course I will tell you my favorite Bible verse!

              Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthenth me."
              A Godly Verse, Brother, and one which is often overlooked. It has been a really motivating passage whenever we encountered setbacks working on Project Habakkuk.
              Sweet Lord Jesus,
              I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
              Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
              Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
              Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
              Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
              Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
              Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

              Amen.

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              • #8
                Re: Introducing Myself..

                Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
                I have a girlfriend (sorry ladies), but she and I are both devout Christians and the extent of our affection has only reached hand-holding and that's as far as it will go until we are wed under the eyes of God.
                Even as a newcomer to Landover Baptist and its refreshing, wholesome Christian views, I can tell you that if you're going to hold hands, you might as well go the full 9 yards and damn yourself to an eternity in hell and have sex; doggy style!

                Please, take the time to court. Carry her books home from Sunday school. Take her out for a soda float. But no sinning!

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                • #9
                  Re: Introducing Myself..

                  Just remember Hebrews 13:4 when you feel your hand creeping beneath her silks:

                  "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

                  Stay clean and there may be a seat for you and your bride in heaven, but succumb to temptation and you may be teeing off with Tiger on the 9th! (circle of hell that is).

                  The good Lord looks down upon those who deal in S&M, Goths be warned:

                  Exodus 1:14

                  And they made their lives bitter with hard bondage, in morter, and in brick, and in all manner of service, wherein they made them serve, was with rigour.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Introducing Myself..

                    Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
                    My name is John. I'm a Christian gentleman from the south, where I attend college. I have a girlfriend (sorry ladies), but she and I are both devout Christians and the extent of our affection has only reached hand-holding and that's as far as it will go until we are wed under the eyes of God.
                    Welcome, John! It's always exciting to see a young man such as yourself eager to learn more about True Christianity™.

                    As others have posted, don't be tempted by the Devil into fornicating with your woman! In fact, Bernadette and I took 2 years of marriage and 4 kids later before I ever "held her hand" or touched her at all! Just do God's work and take it slow, my boy.
                    Matthew 7:15
                    Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Introducing Myself..

                      Originally posted by humbleservant View Post
                      I would say the name of the church, but for the sake of my family and girlfriend, I will not. I know there are lots of weirdos on the internet who look for church and town names so that they can come and insult the people of God to their faces and I don't want to put my loved ones through that. I hope that's alright.

                      But of course I will tell you my favorite Bible verse!

                      Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthenth me."
                      Welcome Humble

                      You should be proud of your church, provided that it is a church to be proud of. Which Bible do they recognize?
                      Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Introducing Myself..

                        Welcome to our friendly site!
                        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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                        • #13
                          Re: Introducing Myself..

                          Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                          Welcome, Brother John!




                          A Godly Verse, Brother, and one which is often overlooked. It has been a really motivating passage whenever we encountered setbacks working on Project Habakkuk.
                          Are we supposed to mention Project Habakkuk on the intro forum? After all, it is almost March 4.

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