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  • Younghotgirl
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jun 2010
    • 12

    #1

    Hello. I love jesus

    Hi.

    I'm 19 and love jesus. Jesus is my best friend and only HE keeps me on the right path.

    I'm so in love with jesus though that I sometimes spend long night staring at my picture of jesus while I lie on my bed

    I want to meet other True Christians who love jesus and apple pie.

    Thank you

    Younghotgirl

    Hot for Jesus!
  • Talitha
    Deaconess
    Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
    True Christian™
    • May 2026
    • 15118

    #2
    Re: Hello. I love jesus

    Hello dear.
    Welcome to our friendly Forums
    I suggest you go and take a cold shower and spend at least 20 minutes in your Prayer Closet.
    Then maybe we can start working out a Plan of Salvation for you.

    Otherwise the only "hot" you'll get is when Satan tosses you into the Lakes of Fire.

    I'm sure one of our Godly Pastors will be along to take you in hand shortly.

    God Bless.

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



    Comment

    • Felicity
      As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
      True Christian™
      • Apr 2010
      • 4834

      #3
      Re: Hello. I love jesus

      @Younghotgirl Welcome! I hope we can be friends!

      When I get hot, this happens especially on Sundays during sermons, I always take an ice cold shower!

      Since you are new here please look at our please read this before posting and our your rights on this forum threads! If you already did that, just do it again. There you can learn that this forum is not about debating or unsaved opinions but about praising Jesus!
      I Jesus!

      Comment

      • Justin Z
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Jun 2010
        • 130

        #4
        Re: Hello. I love jesus

        Originally posted by Younghotgirl View Post
        Hi.

        I'm 19 and love jesus. Jesus is my best friend and only HE keeps me on the right path.

        I'm so in love with jesus though that I sometimes spend long night staring at my picture of jesus while I lie on my bed

        I want to meet other True Christians who love jesus and apple pie.

        Thank you

        Younghotgirl

        Hot for Jesus!
        You liar! God hates liars!



        That is your avatar. I can see your baby feeding breasts are more than half way exposed!
        What a slut. Who are you, impostor!?

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #5
          Re: Hello. I love jesus

          Now, now, let's not be too hasty here. This nubile young girl has come to us for help, and I for one am ready to jump in.

          Please tell us about yourself, sweet sister. What church do you attend? Not that it matters, but have you ever baked a pie?

          If there is ever, EVER anything I can do to help you, I am just a click away. My email link can be found at the bottom of my signature in case you'd like some private pastoral counseling. I'd love to have you on your knees screaming for Jesus to come.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Jo Freddie
            Unsaved trash
            Hateful God mocking pirate
            • Apr 2009
            • 6339

            #6
            Re: Hello. I love jesus

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Now, now, let's not be too hasty here. This nubile young girl has come to us for help, and I for one am ready to jump in.

            Please tell us about yourself, sweet sister. What church do you attend? Not that it matters, but have you ever baked a pie?

            If there is ever, EVER anything I can do to help you, I am just a click away. My email link can be found at the bottom of my signature in case you'd like some private pastoral counseling. I'd love to have you on your knees screaming for Jesus to come.
            Stop Drooling Ezekiel....
            Posted via Pasta

            True Pastafarian™

            May my Sauce be with you!
            Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
            Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
            The Loose Canon - HTML version
            Loose Canon Fan Page
            North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
            I have been to The Volcano!

            Comment

            • WinnerNotSinner
              Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2010
              • 951

              #7
              Re: Hello. I love jesus

              Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
              Stop Drooling Ezekiel....
              What is that supposed to mean?

              Welcome friend, likewise to what the good Pastor says, if you have any questions about Jesus, or you just need someone to open up to my door is always open. Feeling lonely, send me a message.

              Also I think Rev. Jim would like to help you aswell (aren't you lucky, 3 true christians desperate to help you), I think he still does sessions for young women.
              6
              A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
              "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

              Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
              If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

              GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

              Comment

              • James Hutchins
                True Christian™
                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                 
                • Jun 2009
                • 29453

                #8
                Re: Hello. I love jesus

                Welcome young lady. You remind me of a few of my niece's.

                Tell me all about your story of redemption. Nothing is more riveting than a turgid story of being lifted from the depraved bowels of humanity to bask in the glow of our Lord.
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • Justin Z
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Jun 2010
                  • 130

                  #9
                  Re: Hello. I love jesus

                  Well for starters she can take down her provocative avatar.

                  Comment

                  • Cranky Old Man
                    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                    You kids get off his lawn!
                     
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 22377

                    #10
                    Re: Hello. I love jesus

                    Originally posted by Justin Z View Post
                    Well for starters she can take down her provocative avatar.
                    What is wrong with her avatar?
                    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                    Comment

                    • Younghotgirl
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                      • Jun 2010
                      • 12

                      #11
                      Re: Hello. I love jesus

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      Now, now, let's not be too hasty here. This nubile young girl has come to us for help, and I for one am ready to jump in.

                      Please tell us about yourself, sweet sister. What church do you attend? Not that it matters, but have you ever baked a pie?

                      If there is ever, EVER anything I can do to help you, I am just a click away. My email link can be found at the bottom of my signature in case you'd like some private pastoral counseling. I'd love to have you on your knees screaming for Jesus to come.
                      I attend a church in the basement of my school called "Saving our Youth Baptist Church". Our pastor usually tries to keep it one-on-one but sometimes all of us young ladies get to pray together in a group!

                      I hope to find another church soon because I'm about ready to graduate and go to college next year in Iowa. I am searching for a new place so I appreciate your offer for pastoral counseling

                      BTW - I'm wearing clothing! My shirt underneath was just a very skin-colored fabric. Maybe you should have your eyes examined if you don't see it

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78556

                        #12
                        Re: Hello. I love jesus

                        Originally posted by Younghotgirl View Post
                        I attend a church in the basement of my school called "Saving our Youth Baptist Church". Our pastor usually tries to keep it one-on-one but sometimes all of us young ladies get to pray together in a group!

                        I hope to find another church soon because I'm about ready to graduate and go to college next year in Iowa. I am searching for a new place so I appreciate your offer for pastoral counseling
                        Well praise Jesus, it looks like you have been guided directly into the loving arms of God's favorite pastor church. Maybe you'd like to consider applying for Landover Baptist University's Advanced Motherhood Degree. I teach one of the classes there...

                        Originally posted by Younghotgirl View Post
                        BTW - I'm wearing clothing! My shirt underneath was just a very skin-colored fabric. Maybe you should have your eyes examined if you don't see it
                        I'd love to.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Brother Harold Porter
                          Landover Senior Outreach
                          Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2010
                          • 8236

                          #13
                          Re: Hello. I love jesus

                          Originally posted by Younghotgirl View Post
                          I attend a church in the basement of my school called "Saving our Youth Baptist Church". Our pastor usually tries to keep it one-on-one but sometimes all of us young ladies get to pray together in a group!

                          I hope to find another church soon because I'm about ready to graduate and go to college next year in Iowa. I am searching for a new place so I appreciate your offer for pastoral counseling

                          BTW - I'm wearing clothing! My shirt underneath was just a very skin-colored fabric. Maybe you should have your eyes examined if you don't see it

                          Oh bless you sister in Christ!

                          You have no idea how I much I wish I was there at this moment. The witnessing would not take long.

                          I look at your tortured soul and only want to help. Clearly, you need salvation to save you from the depravity that is surely your future if not saved. Trust me, I've been down the road where the lesser of the sexes led me to almost certain ruin. Only with Christ did I learn that I can be saved and better.

                          Come walk with Christ and we'll get you some more wholesome clothes. I'll borrow from my sister and we'll try them on, one by one.

                          With you in Christ,

                          Stan
                          Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

                          sigpic

                          Comment

                          • Deuteronomy
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Jun 2010
                            • 87

                            #14
                            Re: Hello. I love jesus

                            Welcome to the disciples of Christ sister.
                            I truly feel that you seek salvation and it's clear to me that your heart is as pure as the first snow in November. I know that the True Christians™ in here can be very intimidating in their wisdom, so if you need an older lap to sit upon for comfort just know that I am always here to help. I will discipline you though, because I know that you youngster need several healthy spankings each day.
                            Deuteronomy 28:22 The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.

                            Comment

                            • Mrs. Rogers
                              compassion personified
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 2692

                              #15
                              Re: Hello. I love jesus

                              Originally posted by Younghotgirl View Post
                              BTW - I'm wearing clothing! My shirt underneath was just a very skin-colored fabric. Maybe you should have your eyes examined if you don't see it
                              It would appear you are wearing skin-coloured bloomers as well -- the sort that end just below the knee. I wear that sort of underwear also; ladylike and extremely modest. You have certainly impressed me, as it is heartening to see a young lady dress with such decorum! However, I would suggest you begin wearing longer skirts -- at least long enough to cover your knickers, dear.
                              True Christians are Perfect!

                              Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                              Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                              For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                              Comment

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