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  • Morgan
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Aug 2010
    • 3

    #1

    Greetings

    Hello True Christians,

    Please excuse my poor and slow typing, my father has only recently granted me access to The Internet and only certain approved sites

    I do not go to any local churches - my father says that they are all false places of worship. I study under him, sometimes for 18 hours per day. I would like to leave the homestead sometimes for worship, but the are few enlightened churches that use the KJV and have the strict doctrine that my father insists on.

    my favorvite bible passage is:

    Deuteronomy 25 Verse 1
    If there be a controversy between men, and they come unto judgment, that the judges may judge them; then they shall justify the righteous, and condemn the wicked.

    I hope one day under the tutorlige of my father that we can one day bring judgement to the heathens and condemn them to the burning pits of Hades that they so richly deserve.

    I hope to recieve guidance and further education from the pastors, but my father may decide that there are too many heathens and witches and ban me from this part of The Internet, i still feel the lash due to a mix up of The Internet sites, i was looking for a Red Tube to assist in worship, however there were no tubes of red on this particular site

    hopefully I may return after some mild self flagellation, memories of my last Internet experince have made me feel dirty and debased, i must purify myself in His name.
  • Mrs. Rogers
    compassion personified
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2692

    #2
    Re: Greetings

    Lovely to meet you! However, I'd leave the flagellation to the catholics, if I were you. A good thrashing at the hands of your father should suffice.
    True Christians are Perfect!

    Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

    Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

    For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

    Comment

    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22912

      #3
      Re: Greetings

      Originally posted by Morgan View Post
      Hello True Christians,

      I would like to leave the homestead sometimes for worship, but the are few enlightened churches that use the KJV and have the strict doctrine that my father insists on.

      [...]
      Your father is a kindly man and has only your best interests at heart. As a dutiful son, God appreciates your obedience.

      Landover has a presence on the Internet in accordance with Matt:6:6:

      But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

      You seem to be living an idyllic life and therefore, you will recognize that God has, indeed, rewarded you openly.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • Morgan
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Aug 2010
        • 3

        #4
        Re: Greetings

        Thank you for the welcome.

        My father has been called away to assist a neigbour, seems the neigbour needed guidance to deal with an unruly teenage girl, therefore in his absence I must thrash myself and cleanse the impure memories of previous Interent visits.

        Self flagellation is acceptable in these circumstances or should I wait until the return of my father and confess my impure thoughts?

        I have used the Forum Serach faciltily (Thanks Jeb) however I cannot find any guidance from KJV - only carthlick doctine. I do not reacall any parts of the KJV that mention flagellation, will a knowledgable Pastor advise me?

        Comment

        • His Final Harvest
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jul 2010
          • 22

          #5
          Re: Greetings

          Originally posted by Morgan View Post
          i was looking for a Red Tube to assist in worship,
          Sounds suspiciously like Godless Communism to me, I'd advise you to steer well clear.

          Comment

          • Ezekiel Bathfire
            Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
            Christ's Rottweiler
             
            • Jan 2008
            • 22912

            #6
            Re: Greetings

            Originally posted by Morgan View Post
            [...]I must thrash myself [...]
            Col:2:20: Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances,
            Col:2:21: (Touch not; taste not; handle not;
            Col:2:22: Which all are to perish with the using after the commandments and doctrines of men?
            Col:2:23: Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.

            Paul, and thus God, condemn flagellation. Only Catlix do that and they are devil worshiping heathens, not Christians at all!

            Stop it immediately or leave here with your papist ways and do not soil our doorstep again!
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • Sister Charli
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2010
              • 1590

              #7
              Re: Greetings

              Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
              Lovely to meet you! However, I'd leave the flagellation to the catholics, if I were you. A good thrashing at the hands of your father should suffice.
              Hello Morgan,

              I agree with Mrs Rogers. I too live with my Daddy and would never beat myself up. Daddy has to punish me to show his love of me. If I punished myself is that not a narcissistic love?

              Proverbs 13:24 (King James Version)
              24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
              2 Chronicles 7:14
              14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

              Comment

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