My humble introduction

[Joshua Godwins]

Greetings fellow Christians!

My name is Joshua Godwins and I am pleased to make your acquaintance! I have been observing this Godly forum for quite some time now and I felt it was about time I made my presence known.

I was brought up as a false Christian by my well meaning but Presbyterian parents. It saddens my heart to know they never made it to heaven. Prior to finding Jesus my own path to hell was paved with carnal and liquid pleasure. I am ashamed to say I fornicated with uncounted numbers of women often with two or more at the same time. My alcohol and Satan induced behavior let me to all sorts of terrible amoral activities. Even such the sinner I was, I know the only way I avoided imprisonment was through the grace of Jesus himself!

I came to know Jesus during a near death experience. I was shot in the chest by a business associate. He was angry about a small sum of money I owed him. As I lay dying I saw a bright light in the heavens opening up for me! I said “My God!” A deep, booming voice replied “You do not know me! You are an unrepentant sinner! But, I will heal you. Go back, seek me, and do my will.”

My first instinct of course, was to pray and read the Bible. But nothing happened! I didn’t feel the power of the Lord Jesus pulsing through my very being as I had expected. I had no idea what to do! But, fortune shined upon me and I found this forum. I read through it, absorbing all the knowledge it has to offer. Then it struck me, I was reading the Revised Standard Bible given to me by a Presbyterian Minister! No wonder Jesus was still waiting to save me! Well I got a King James Authorized Bible and read it cover to cover. And it happened! Jesus saved my soul. His power is in every nerve, and every drop of blood. He is part of my very being!

Since my salvation I have married a fine Christian woman who cooks and keeps house. I have ensured that she does not fill her vulnerable female head with modern culture or a liberal view. Sadly, she is barren so we have no children.

I now attend a small Independent Baptist Church located in a rural southern crossroad town where the Bible is fervently taught. In my spare time I like to go into the city and rebuke sinners in hopes that their hearts open up to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Thank you for reading my testimony.

[Nobar King]

Re: My humble introduction

That's good enough for me. Now that you're saved you still drink beer, right?

[Seth Campbell]

Re: My humble introduction

WAIT

A Presbyterian Minister gave you a Revised Standard Edition? Oh how that church has fallen since my childhood.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My humble introduction

Why did you marry a barren woman? What unspeakable sins has she commited? Even retarded women like nigresses can have babies.

[Joshua Godwins]

Re: My humble introduction

That's good enough for me. Now that you're saved you still drink beer, right?

I find the term “recovering alcoholic” to be an offensive term invented by modern liberal doctors to make a disgusting chronic drunkard feel good about himself. The unfortunate drunkard is convinced he has a “disease” when in reality he’s just a sinner deserving only rebuke.
A strong, Saved, Godly man has no need of alcohol. I do however on occasion enjoy a nice cold Leinenkugle Sunset Wheat garnished with a wedge of fresh orange.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: My humble introduction

Welcome Friend and what a pleasant, concise, relevant and articulate introduction

Jesus works in cryptic and mysterious ways but it is well worth getting a near fatal gunshot wound to the chest so as to be able to find him

It is disappointing to that your wife has failed you in the bearing of sons.
But now that have the opportunity to become a True Christian(tm) God may indeed remedy you wife's useless and defective uterus

Again welcome Brother

[Joshua Godwins]

Re: My humble introduction

Why did you marry a barren woman? What unspeakable sins has she commited? Even retarded women like nigresses can have babies.

My wife was chaste when we were married. She was completely unaware of coital union and the outcome. I gave her much instruction in the ways of marital union, but no offspring were forthcoming. It became obvious that she was barren.

I have considered taking a concubine so that I might have a son. I have prayed often about this. Perhaps one of the pastors here can counsel me on the subject.

Thank you for your concern, Brother James.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My humble introduction

As I understand it, until a marriage is consummated, you are not actually married. And to consummate a marriage with God watching requires the production of a child. So your marriage is not consummated and therefore a shame. You need to wonder why your wife is barren. What demons are in her? I suggest you have her contact Rev. Osborne fora series of hands on healing sessions. Until then and based on the good Rev.'s professional opinion, you may want to find a woman not tainted by the devil.

[Joshua Godwins]

Re: My humble introduction

As I understand it, until a marriage is consummated, you are not actually married. And to consummate a marriage with God watching requires the production of a child. So your marriage is not consummated and therefore a shame. You need to wonder why your wife is barren. What demons are in her? I suggest you have her contact Rev. Osborne fora series of hands on healing sessions. Until then and based on the good Rev.'s professional opinion, you may want to find a woman not tainted by the devil.

As always, when confronted with life's sorrows and tribulations, I seek comfort through prayer and appropriate Biblical verses. My thoughts turn to Judges, Chapter 13, verses 2 and 3.

Judges 13

2And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not.
3And the angel of the LORD appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou art barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.


God works miracles each and every day!


Again Brother James, I thank you for your concern.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My humble introduction

Beautiful verse, Joshua. It brings a tear to my eye. Everlasting hope is a wonderus thing.
I suppose I can be a touch pragmatic at times. I'll say a special prayer for you and your wife tonight.

[Felicity]

Re: My humble introduction

@Joshua Godwins Welcome! I hope we can be friends!

Since you are new here please look at our please read this before posting and our your rights on this forum threads! If you already did that, just do it again. There you can learn that this forum is not about debating or unsaved opinions but about praising Jesus!

[Joshua Godwins]

Re: My humble introduction

Beautiful verse, Joshua. It brings a tear to my eye. Everlasting hope is a wonderus thing.
I suppose I can be a touch pragmatic at times. I'll say a special prayer for you and your wife tonight.

Thank you so much for the prayer Brother James! Pray that our marital relations tonight shall bring us a son!

You're a kind gentleman for welcoming me into this Holy forum. I will offer a prayer for you also.

[landoverlover]

Re: My humble introduction

I find the term “recovering alcoholic” to be an offensive term invented by modern liberal doctors to make a disgusting chronic drunkard feel good about himself. The unfortunate drunkard is convinced he has a “disease” when in reality he’s just a sinner deserving only rebuke.
A strong, Saved, Godly man has no need of alcohol. I do however on occasion enjoy a nice cold Leinenkugle Sunset Wheat garnished with a wedge of fresh orange.

Say WHAT? Friend, you are going to be tagged as a major-league homer and get a solid Christian beatdown drinking some foo-foo swill like that. I know a couple of bars that keep it on tap just so they can identify who needs a rap upside the head.

[Joshua Godwins]

Re: My humble introduction

Say WHAT? Friend, you are going to be tagged as a major-league homer and get a solid Christian beatdown drinking some foo-foo swill like that. I know a couple of bars that keep it on tap just so they can identify who needs a rap upside the head.

Rest assured, I am not a sodomite. As for my choice of beer, I find the orange to be a healthful garnish.

I generally only go to bars in search of drunkards in need of a rebuke. Sinners in need of the Word of God are generally not found in virtuous locations. I have often had to avoid beer bottles thrown in my general direction. People often show their hate for God by trying to silence my words offering them eternal salvation through Jesus Christ. I have become well skilled in avoiding raps on the head.

Thank you for your concern Brother Landoverlover.

[John Creeser]

Re: My humble introduction

First off, any newbs in the room take notice of how a proper introduction is supposed to be written. Well done friend.