[landoverlover]

Re: Greetings to all

I am sorry if i am not clear enough, i counsel people who have carried out self ham on them selfs or who have either threatened to or have attempted to commit suicide.


The name should be Sheila but my parents and the registrar got it wrong on my birth certificate so it has always been that way

Please tell us about your Jesus Based Fear & Guilt Therapy® on people who almost sent themselves to hell. Do you scare them out of a sinful state by pounding it in that suicide, even committed by a self-defined wretch, is offensive to God? Do you describe in detail the tortures of hell and the misery visited upon their families should they succeed? How is your success rate? What method to the English use to kill themselves, generally? Gun? Hanging? Kidney pie?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings to all

Why do you say hell, did you know my husband and the good he done during his short stay on this earth.

"Doing good" won't get you into Heaven. If you paid attention in church you'd know that. Please take a look at my sermon on the subject HERE.



If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Shela Tansper]

Re: Greetings to all

Please tell us about your Jesus Based Fear & Guilt Therapy® on people who almost sent themselves to hell. Do you scare them out of a sinful state by pounding it in that suicide, even committed by a self-defined wretch, is offensive to God? Do you describe in detail the tortures of hell and the misery visited upon their families should they succeed? How is your success rate? What method to the English use to kill themselves, generally? Gun? Hanging? Kidney pie?

I wish i could give out information on the techniques i have to use but due to me signing a confidentiality act document i cant let it out into the public domain. All i will say is that i get annoyed sometimes and when i tell you who i sometimes have to deal with i hope you will understand. Goths, emos , homosexuals who's partners have died of AIDS, alcoholics and Asylum seekers.

I don't know my success rate due to the fact once they have left me i don't get to hear about them anymore. Suicide depends on the individual, there are the attention seekers these will normaly throw themselves off of a building, off a freeway bridge or under a train. The quite ones on the other hand usually take an overdose, jump out of the attic and hang themselves or drop a plugged in toaster into the bath whilst having a soak. I must admit death by kidney pie is a new one on me.

Dearest Pastor Ezekiel i am beginning to realize since joining this forum that indeed my husband was more up to no good than doing good, i will read your sermon before retiring for the night.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings to all

Hi Shelia, welcome. I am glad to hear you are a Bible reading Baptist. In your line of work, it is important to be able to weed out the worthy from the worthless and not give it a moments afterthought. It has to be rewarding, finding a person who loves God and needs a little guidance and be the person to get them back on the narrow path to being a proper Christian. At the same time knowing all the evil, bad people you meet, all it takes is a few curt words by you and they will no longer be able to spit in the eyes of baby Jesus.You certainly must be proud of helping God sort them out.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Greetings to all

I wish i could give out information on the techniques i have to use but due to me signing a confidentiality act document i cant let it out into the public domain. All i will say is that i get annoyed sometimes and when i tell you who i sometimes have to deal with i hope you will understand. Goths, emos , homosexuals who's partners have died of AIDS, alcoholics and Asylum seekers.

I don't know my success rate due to the fact once they have left me i don't get to hear about them anymore. Suicide depends on the individual, there are the attention seekers these will normaly throw themselves off of a building, off a freeway bridge or under a train. The quite ones on the other hand usually take an overdose, jump out of the attic and hang themselves or drop a plugged in toaster into the bath whilst having a soak. I must admit death by kidney pie is a new one on me.

Hello Mrs Tansper,

I am in a bit of a quandry as to why your counseling techniques would be under a veil of secrecy. It certainly does not seem like a standard procedure at all!

God DEMANDS transparency which is more than apparent by His Word. Do you see any "secrets" in Scripture?

Just what do you and your church have to hide?

YIC

Mrs. Phebe Dewitt

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Greetings to all

Are you sure it was your husband who was killed, and not some hobo, tossed under the train and mangled to a bloody pulp to disguise his identity, with the wedding ring thrown in to ensure you thought it was your philandering man?

Is it not possible that he has moved to the United States, faked an American accent, and become a Mayor somewhere?

Tell me, are you sure he wasn't a closet Hindu?

[Shela Tansper]

Re: Greetings to all

Firstly thank you all for such a warm and friendly welcome, now to see if i can reply to the latest posts.

James thank you so much it is people like you who give me extra strength and make my belief stronger everyday.

Mrs Dewitt

I can see your quandry and admit whole heartedly that God DEMANDS transparency, maybe the procedure is different over here and that i should explain that the work is not through the church but through the local council and the police hence me being sworn to secrecy. It's a bit like a doctor and their patients they are not allowed to disclose any information about them.

Rev Rodimer

It was my husband without a doubt although i had only the ring to go on myself the DNA proved it, if i had been seen within a mile of a hindu my father god rest him would of beaten me to within an inch of my life and i would of been cast from the village.


Shela

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Greetings to all

Mrs Dewitt

I can see your quandry and admit whole heartedly that God DEMANDS transparency, maybe the procedure is different over here and that i should explain that the work is not through the church but through the local council and the police hence me being sworn to secrecy. It's a bit like a doctor and their patients they are not allowed to disclose any information about them.

Hmm.. typical of secular establishments! That said, why are you working with such tawdry flouters of God's Will and as a Christian willing to do their bidding? Surely you could approach your Reverend, Pastor or Minister with the view of offering a more Godly INSPIRED counseling facility for these homers, emo's and depressed atheists! You of all people should know that ONLY GOD can fill that void and suicidal emptiness in their lives! You say you have been spending more time at your Church since your husbands first death, so why not make the time spent there even more productive?

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt. (oh and please feel free to use Sister Phebe in future salutations. )

[Shela Tansper]

Re: Greetings to all

Hmm.. typical of secular establishments! That said, why are you working with such tawdry flouters of God's Will and as a Christian willing to do their bidding? Surely you could approach your Reverend, Pastor or Minister with the view of offering a more Godly INSPIRED counseling facility for these homers, emo's and depressed atheists! You of all people should know that ONLY GOD can fill that void and suicidal emptiness in their lives! You say you have been spending more time at your Church since your husbands first death, so why not make the time spent there even more productive?

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt. (oh and please feel free to use Sister Phebe in future salutations. )

Dearest Sister Phebe.

This is amazing i have only been on here one day and my head is being filled with such amazing ideas, i sometimes wish i had traveled from my village and seen more of the world for there are obviously a great deal more wiser and holy people than me out there.

I was going to go round to see the Pastor tonight after reading this and offer my complete services to the church then realized it's 11.30pm and i am sure he will be resting as he rises early, but as soon as i have finished the cleaning and my washing in the morning shall call round and see him to tell him of this wonderful idea and of course i shall tell him it was you that come up with it, i can't thank you enough.

Shela

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Greetings to all

Dearest Sister Phebe.

This is amazing i have only been on here one day and my head is being filled with such amazing ideas, i sometimes wish i had traveled from my village and seen more of the world for there are obviously a great deal more wiser and holy people than me out there.

I was going to go round to see the Pastor tonight after reading this and offer my complete services to the church then realized it's 11.30pm and i am sure he will be resting as he rises early, but as soon as i have finished the cleaning and my washing in the morning shall call round and see him to tell him of this wonderful idea and of course i shall tell him it was you that come up with it, i can't thank you enough.

Shela

Oh Gosh Mrs Tansper,

God certainly does have His focus firmly here at LBC, so it really isn't any wonder that so many good ideas in His Name, literally spurt out of seemingly no where! Just Him working in mysterious ways yet again, but boy, I certainly won't be the one to argue with Him over it!

I can also appreciate that a woman in your position (being a widow and all) has not stepped outside her village, but it IS apparent to me that Jesus surely lead you HERE and for good reason, which too have become obvious to you now.

I would be interested to know just how your Pastor receives your suggestion, so certainly look forward to the feedback.


YIC

Sister Phebe.

[Shela Tansper]

Re: Greetings to all

My Dear Sister Phebe


Oh my i am so exited, firstly Pastor Thomasson thanks you for helping to guide me. The doors will open to the retched self harmers and possible suicide cases on Monday 20th september and i have given my weeks notice at my job and will then spend sometime getting my new office into place ready for the first pitiful soul to come in and be shown the way of God and Jesus and learn the truth and be saved.

I have also talked to the Pastor about secrecy and he can see no harm in posting future cases up on here as it may help people so i will have to choose the correct part of the forum but i am sure i will be guided there.

Sister Phebe i am forever indebted to you for this guidance.

Shela

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Greetings to all

homosexuals…AIDS…Asylum seekers

why would you want to prevent assylun seekers and homosexualists from committing suicide? aren't they going to hell anyway? GLORY ! !