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  • JimBob69
    Unsaved trash
    • Oct 2010
    • 16

    #1

    HELLO

    HELLO EVERYONE, I'M JIM BOB AND I'M GLAD TO HAVE FOUND THIS PLACE. I WAS BORN IN 1969 AND HAVE BEEN DISGUSTED WITH THE NON-STOP HELL TRAIN THIS COUNTRY HAS BEEN ON SINCE THEN. I AM GLAD TO SEE WHERE THE REAL CHRISTIANS HAVE BEEN HIDING, THOUGH, THE INTERNET!
  • Phebe Carlyle
    GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
    Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 2604

    #2
    Re: HELLO

    Why are you yelling?




    There's Jesus here,
    Just see what He offers me....
    Down here my sins forgiven,
    Up there a home in heaven
    Praise God, That's the way for me!!

    Comment

    • athiesthater
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Oct 2010
      • 8

      #3
      Re: HELLO

      Is your keyboard broken?
      "And Jesus said unto them ... , "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."
      Romans 1:17

      Comment

      • Phebe Carlyle
        GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
        Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
        True Christian™
        • May 2010
        • 2604

        #4
        Re: HELLO

        Originally posted by athiesthater View Post
        Is your keyboard broken?
        Perhaps their keyboard may be broken, but at least they had the common courtesy to make an introduction thread of their own.

        How about you do the same for yourself, atheisthater.

        YIC

        Mrs Phebe Dewitt.




        There's Jesus here,
        Just see what He offers me....
        Down here my sins forgiven,
        Up there a home in heaven
        Praise God, That's the way for me!!

        Comment

        • WinnerNotSinner
          Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2010
          • 951

          #5
          Re: HELLO

          You sound awfully angry, Brother. Maybe it's just a case of you not knowing how to use the modern computermachines properly. If you press "Caps Lock" on your keyboard you can talk normally in lower case.

          How many sons has your wife bore for Jesus?
          6
          A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
          "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

          Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
          If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

          GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

          Comment

          • Brother Harold Porter
            Landover Senior Outreach
            Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2010
            • 8236

            #6
            Re: HELLO

            Welcome Brother,

            No need to yell though.

            Tell us, what vile sin finally humiliated you to the point that you realized it was either Salvation© through Jesus Christ or an eternity in Hell?

            We cherish Scripture and trust that you do as well? Is there a verse of God's word that is especially endearing to you?

            In Jesus!
            Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

            sigpic

            Comment

            • JimBob69
              Unsaved trash
              • Oct 2010
              • 16

              #7
              Re: HELLO

              Originally posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt View Post
              Why are you yelling?
              WHY IS A WOMAN ADDRESSING ME LIKE THIS? ALSO I AM NOT YELLING I AM NOT EVEN TALKING ACTUALLY, I DON'T TALK TOO WELL EVER SINCE THE DOCTOR TOOK A CHUNK OF MY THROAT OUT BECAUSE OF THE 'CANCER'. I'M FAIRLY SURE THEY JUST WANTED MY DNA 'ON FILE'.

              Comment

              • Lisa H
                Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
                True Christian™
                • Jun 2010
                • 5070

                #8
                Re: HELLO

                If you were born in 1969 and the world has been declining since then. What have you been doing to make the world decline?

                PS: Stop Yelling.
                Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                Comment

                • JimBob69
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Oct 2010
                  • 16

                  #9
                  Re: HELLO

                  Originally posted by WinnerNotSinner View Post
                  You sound awfully angry, Brother. Maybe it's just a case of you not knowing how to use the modern computermachines properly. If you press "Caps Lock" on your keyboard you can talk normally in lower case.

                  How many sons has your wife bore for Jesus?
                  I THINK MY SON BROKE THE CAPSLOCK WHEN HE BORROWED MY PCMACHINE TO CHECK HIS EMAIL, HE'S BEEN COUNCILING MANY YOUNG HOMOSEXUAL MEN TO TURN THEM FROM SIN, HE'S MY FAVORITE OF THE FOUR (THE OTHER THREE ARE USELESS). I'LL SEE WHAT MY SCREWDRIVER CAN DO THOUGH.

                  AS FOR BIBLE VERSES I THINK THE ENTIRETY OF REVELATIONS IS MY FAVORITE, IT'S ALWAYS SO COMFORTING TO READ THE FATES OF THE QUEERS AND OTHER SINNERS HERE. AS FOR MY SIN (I SUPPOSE IT WAS MY WIFE'S BUT AS THE MAN I TAKE HER BURDEN, HER MIND CAN'T GRASP HER DEEDS), I RECENTLY REALIZED MY FAVORITE WORK SHIRT WAS A BLEND OF FABRICS, I'VE BEEN WEARING THAT SHIRT FOR OVER THREE MONTHS.

                  Deuteronomy 22:11 Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woolen and linen together.

                  Comment

                  • WinnerNotSinner
                    Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2010
                    • 951

                    #10
                    Re: HELLO

                    Originally posted by JimBob69 View Post
                    WHY IS A WOMAN ADDRESSING ME LIKE THIS?
                    I don't want to hear any more of your lip against the True Christians™ of GOD's favourite forum, whether it be against a man or a mere woman. You came here uninvited, and we have a right to question your motives.

                    Originally posted by JimBob69 View Post
                    ALSO I AM NOT YELLING I AM NOT EVEN TALKING ACTUALLY, I DON'T TALK TOO WELL EVER SINCE THE DOCTOR TOOK A CHUNK OF MY THROAT OUT BECAUSE OF THE 'CANCER'. I'M FAIRLY SURE THEY JUST WANTED MY DNA 'ON FILE'.
                    DNA isn't really real, it isn't mentioned once in the Bible. My understanding is that we're all made of dust.

                    Genesis 2:7
                    And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
                    6
                    A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
                    "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

                    Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
                    If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

                    GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78555

                      #11
                      Re: HELLO

                      Stop posting in all caps. Behave yourself of begone. This is a Christian forum.

                      Please introduce yourself properly so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

                      And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • JimBob69
                        Unsaved trash
                        • Oct 2010
                        • 16

                        #12
                        Re: HELLO

                        Originally posted by WinnerNotSinner View Post
                        I don't want to hear any more of your lip against the True Christians™ of GOD's favourite forum, whether it be against a man or a mere woman. You came here uninvited, and we have a right to question your motives.



                        DNA isn't really real, it isn't mentioned once in the Bible. My understanding is that we're all made of dust.

                        Genesis 2:7
                        And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
                        I'M SORRY I FOLLOW THE ACTUAL WORD OF GOD

                        1 Timothy 2:11-12
                        Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.


                        AS FOR DNA YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT I'M USING TO HAVING TO PLAY ALONG WITH THE 'SCIENTISTS' AND OTHER TRASH.

                        Comment

                        • BelieverInGod
                          Fourm Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Feb 2010
                          • 9269

                          #13
                          Re: HELLO

                          Originally posted by JimBob69 View Post
                          I'M SORRY I FOLLOW THE ACTUAL WORD OF GOD

                          1 Timothy 2:11-12
                          Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.


                          AS FOR DNA YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT I'M USING TO HAVING TO PLAY ALONG WITH THE 'SCIENTISTS' AND OTHER TRASH.
                          Unless your my father, my husband or my pastor, that doesn't exactly have anything to do with me. The same goes with any other woman on this board (their husbands and fathers of course)

                          And stop yelling.
                          Drama queen

                          Comment

                          • JimBob69
                            Unsaved trash
                            • Oct 2010
                            • 16

                            #14
                            Re: HELLO

                            ok I think I fixed my capslock, sorry, my son must have spilled one of his sticky drinks on it.

                            Comment

                            • Phebe Carlyle
                              GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                              Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                              True Christian™
                              • May 2010
                              • 2604

                              #15
                              Re: HELLO

                              Originally posted by JimBob69 View Post
                              WHY IS A WOMAN ADDRESSING ME LIKE THIS? ALSO I AM NOT YELLING I AM NOT EVEN TALKING ACTUALLY, I DON'T TALK TOO WELL EVER SINCE THE DOCTOR TOOK A CHUNK OF MY THROAT OUT BECAUSE OF THE 'CANCER'. I'M FAIRLY SURE THEY JUST WANTED MY DNA 'ON FILE'.
                              Because like it or not sparky, I am a True Christian and you are unsaved trash.

                              Also, if you are going to quote the Bible at least make it the CORRECT Bible(KJV1611), rather than the piss poor per-version you quoted.

                              1 Timothy 2:11

                              11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.



                              Now, considering there is absolutely nothing I can learn nor want to learn from you, I can address you in any way I see fit.

                              Also, if you had actually read the Bible, you would know that MANY women have held respected office with God; my namesake, being one of the many.

                              So, I suggest you zip your lip!

                              YIC

                              Mrs Phebe Dewitt.




                              There's Jesus here,
                              Just see what He offers me....
                              Down here my sins forgiven,
                              Up there a home in heaven
                              Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                              Comment

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