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  • TheLordMyGuide
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Dec 2010
    • 1

    #1

    Hello

    Hello My Brothers,

    I have been searching for a place to share my thoughts and feelings with true believers and understanders of Gods word. Alas, I think I have found the place. The Lord found his way into my life during one of my darkest times and has been my shepherd ever since. I became very I'll at the young age of 20 with testicular cancer. While I could not afford all the proper care I needed, I received much help from my local Baptist Church through prayer. Before this time I had been lost for my whole life. During my struggle I became very close to The Lord who guided me during my hardships. Through prayer and faith my sickness was cured and I emerged more enlightened than ever. I finally feel I have purpose in my life and that purpose is to spread the word of God to all nonbelievers before they have to find out by burning eternally in the depths of Hell. I look forward to getting to know all of you and thank you for letting me join your community.

    Scott
  • Gabriel Reproba
    Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
    The Most Honest Lawyer in America
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2009
    • 2479

    #2
    Re: Hello

    Originally posted by TheLordMyGuide View Post
    Hello My Brothers,

    I have been searching for a place to share my thoughts and feelings with true believers and understanders of Gods word. Alas, I think I have found the place. The Lord found his way into my life during one of my darkest times and has been my shepherd ever since. I became very I'll at the young age of 20 with testicular cancer. While I could not afford all the proper care I needed, I received much help from my local Baptist Church through prayer. Before this time I had been lost for my whole life. During my struggle I became very close to The Lord who guided me during my hardships. Through prayer and faith my sickness was cured and I emerged more enlightened than ever. I finally feel I have purpose in my life and that purpose is to spread the word of God to all nonbelievers before they have to find out by burning eternally in the depths of Hell. I look forward to getting to know all of you and thank you for letting me join your community.

    Scott

    Welcome, fellow cancer survives. I, too, witnessed a miracle as God healed my rectal cancer this very year.

    What church do you go to? What is your favorite Bible verse? What is your wife's name and how many sons do you have?

    We look forward to getting to know you.
    Yours In Christ,

    Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

    Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

    Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
    Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
    The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
    Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
    How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
    20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
    God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
    Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
    Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
    Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
    There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
    Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

    Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

    Comment

    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22373

      #3
      Re: Hello

      Welcome to our friendly forum!

      How many sons do you have? Can you still make new ones?
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

      Comment

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