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  • Josiah Formley
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jan 2011
    • 10
    #1

    Introduction

    Hello,
    My name is Josiah and for the first 18 years of my life I was a terrible sinner, I masturbated, took Gods name in vain, and never went to church. That all changed when I had a spiritual awakening on April 12, 2008 I was walking home from my job as a Construction worker when I met a street evangelist by the name of Henry Riggers, he told me the wonders of Jesus and over time gave me my first copy of the King James Bible. Since then I have taken up my mentors job and stroll college campus' spreading the word of Jesus to unsaved college students, and anyone else who will listen. I attend the local Baptist church in the city I am currently traveling through.
    Tags: None
    • Levi Jones
      Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
      Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
      Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
       
      • Jul 2009
      • 13930
      #2
      Re: Introduction

      Hello, Josiah. You seem like a nice young man. Do you have some favorite scriptures you would like to share with?
      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

        Comment

        • Josiah Formley
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Jan 2011
          • 10
          #3
          Re: Introduction

          Yes Mr. Jones a few of my favorite scriptures include

          Leviticus 20:9 It is very important to me that everyone respect there elders.

          One of my old friends disrespected his Christian parents and dated a black woman against there wishes (and Jesus'), he was punished by God when he was ran over by a car and died. It has always saddened me that he went to hell I wish I could have saved him.

          Matthew 6:25

          This verse helps me through my travels knowing that God will always provide for me in my time of need.

            Comment

            • Gabriel Reproba
              Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
              The Most Honest Lawyer in America
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2009
              • 2479
              #4
              Re: Introduction

              Welcome. I hope you find a cozy home here! Are you married? Do you have sons?
              Yours In Christ,

              Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

              Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

              Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
              Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
              The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
              Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
              How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
              20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
              God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
              Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
              Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
              Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
              There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
              Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

              Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                Comment

                • Josiah Formley
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Jan 2011
                  • 10
                  #5
                  Re: Introduction

                  Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
                  Welcome. I hope you find a cozy home here! Are you married? Do you have sons?
                  No sir I am currently unmarried I am looking for a spouse and I hope to father many sons to populate the Earth with good Christian men.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78555
                      #6
                      Re: Introduction

                      Welcome to God's favorite forum. If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Josiah Formley
                          Unsaved trash
                          Under Investigation
                          • Jan 2011
                          • 10
                          #7
                          Re: Introduction

                          Thank you Pastor Ezekiel, I will comply by all the rules. I look forward to learning more about God from you all.

                            Comment

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