[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Oh, pshhhh. That's ridiculous. Pick the wrong man to follow and I go to hell.

Without a realistic alternative, I might just have to be a spinster forever.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I might just have to be a spinster forever.

After noticing your new avatar, I'm inclined to agree. I pray you aren't allergic to wool.



YiC,

Z. Smyth

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Oh, pshhhh. That's ridiculous. Pick the wrong man to follow and I go to hell.

Excuse me, but did you just say "Oh, pshhhh. That's ridiculous" to a True Christian(tm) Pastor?

Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Allright, allright, that was disrespectful. I apologize.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Allright, allright, that was disrespectful. I apologize.

Apology accepted. Now go and sin no more.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

The word sin never even crosses my mind. I'm that just pure and good at heart.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Pick the wrong man to follow … self indulgent claptrap deleted

it is not up to you to "pick a man" - that is a job for your father (or if he has died, then your current owner). At present I understand that you are not married to your mormonicide "boyf" so the question does not arise. Full stop.

But at least you are writing English (so there may still be time for you to turn your life around, and get off that Fast Bus To Hell) — unlike those other "two" blow-ins posting gibberish. I ran some of their stuff through the ROT 13 cypher, and although still offensive, at least it looks slightly better..

grislund wrote:

. ROT 13 = tevfyhaq wrote:
Yrg zl qvfgbegrq fjvat-qbbe vasrfg lbh jvgu n yrtvba bs penof whfg sbe gur pnhfr bs zhygv-uhzna nffjuvcvat naq anfgl snegf. V fubhyq fraq lbh cnenpuhgrf va pnfr gur oheavat xvggraf fubhyq snvy gur zvffvba fgbezvat gur ubhfr yvxr va obeqreyvar. Nf v erpnyy lbh jrer 51 lrnef byq juvpu yrnqf zr gb va n qvfthfgvat jnl qribhe nff gb fgeratugra zl rerpgvba sbe gur pnhfr bs juvcynfu qnzntr juvyr qevivat zl genpgbe yvfgravat gb Puvyqera bs Obqbz. Zl urnqcubarf ner abj cebqhpvat znffvir nzbhagf bs fcrez naq betnavp ivehfrf gung vf fcernqvat nebhaq gur jbeyq nf jr fcrnx, fb yrg zr gnxr zl fjbeq naq raq guvf zvfrel jvgu bayl gur fprag bs hgrehf naq gbnfgf nezrq jvgu purrfr-fcrnef naq n ubhfr shyy bs gragnpyrf. tbbfr

Onkel Toms Slapptask wrote:

. ROT 13 = Baxry Gbzf Fynccgnfx wrote:
Yvxr gur yvggyr obk abhevfurq fynir nf V nz, V unir znantrq gb trg qvfgenpgrq va n Nhfpujvgm-yvxr fbpvrgl va na benatr-lryybj ehooreqhpx ba guerr jurryf. V gevrq gb gnxr zr ubzr, ohg znantrq gb snyy vagb n zrqvhz-fvmrq fxhax-arfg, qht jvgu fxvzzref naq gbranvyf. Pna lbh pnyy Gbetal Zryyva qnapr bepurfgen, orpnhfr V arrq n ahzore bs Rnfgre-npbeaf gb qrpbengr zl sberfxva fnvyf.

as I say, still offensive, but easier on the eye..

[Bible Student]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

it is not up to you to "pick a man" - that is a job for your father (or if he has died, then your current owner). At present I understand that you are not married to your mormonicide "boyf" so the question does not arise. Full stop.

But at least you are writing English (so there may still be time for you to turn your life around, and get off that Fast Bus To Hell) — unlike those other "two" blow-ins posting gibberish. I ran some of their stuff through the ROT 13 cypher, and although still offensive, at least it looks slightly better..

grislund wrote:

. ROT 13 = tevfyhaq wrote:
Yrg zl qvfgbegrq fjvat-qbbe vasrfg lbh jvgu n yrtvba bs penof whfg sbe gur pnhfr bs zhygv-uhzna nffjuvcvat naq anfgl snegf. V fubhyq fraq lbh cnenpuhgrf va pnfr gur oheavat xvggraf fubhyq snvy gur zvffvba fgbezvat gur ubhfr yvxr va obeqreyvar. Nf v erpnyy lbh jrer 51 lrnef byq juvpu yrnqf zr gb va n qvfthfgvat jnl qribhe nff gb fgeratugra zl rerpgvba sbe gur pnhfr bs juvcynfu qnzntr juvyr qevivat zl genpgbe yvfgravat gb Puvyqera bs Obqbz. Zl urnqcubarf ner abj cebqhpvat znffvir nzbhagf bs fcrez naq betnavp ivehfrf gung vf fcernqvat nebhaq gur jbeyq nf jr fcrnx, fb yrg zr gnxr zl fjbeq naq raq guvf zvfrel jvgu bayl gur fprag bs hgrehf naq gbnfgf nezrq jvgu purrfr-fcrnef naq n ubhfr shyy bs gragnpyrf. tbbfr

Onkel Toms Slapptask wrote:

. ROT 13 = Baxry Gbzf Fynccgnfx wrote:
Yvxr gur yvggyr obk abhevfurq fynir nf V nz, V unir znantrq gb trg qvfgenpgrq va n Nhfpujvgm-yvxr fbpvrgl va na benatr-lryybj ehooreqhpx ba guerr jurryf. V gevrq gb gnxr zr ubzr, ohg znantrq gb snyy vagb n zrqvhz-fvmrq fxhax-arfg, qht jvgu fxvzzref naq gbranvyf. Pna lbh pnyy Gbetal Zryyva qnapr bepurfgen, orpnhfr V arrq n ahzore bs Rnfgre-npbeaf gb qrpbengr zl sberfxva fnvyf.

as I say, still offensive, but easier on the eye..

Good spot there. I never tried that myself.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Actually, my father died yesterday due to a tragic accident during his communinst-atheist-deer-whathaveyou hunt with Scottie. And I don't have an "owner." So I'm entirely on my own, here.

The second part made me laugh.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Actually, my father died yesterday

I'm sorry for your loss. Please post the link to the obituary.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Sorry, sir, but we're actually trying to keep his death as quiet as possibly, so no obituary. You see, there was some speculation that my father committed suicide, and our family couldn't bear the shame. Eagle, Idaho can be very gossipy.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Actually, my father died yesterday due to a tragic accident during his communinst-atheist-deer-whathaveyou hunt with Scottie. And I don't have an "owner." So I'm entirely on my own, here.

The second part made me laugh.

I'm sorry to hear he missed that is to say, I am watching Pastor Ezekiel respond (it is always a delight to see a true gentleman in action) to your posts, and learning from his example in patience and - where necessary - gentle rebuke.

Heaven will be so wonderful, it is worth a little chagrin here, on earth, to learn His ways.

PSALM 119
12 Blessed art thou, O Lord: teach me thy statutes.
13 With my lips haue I declared all the iudgements of thy mouth.
14 I haue reioyced in the way of thy testimonies: as much as in all riches.
15 I will meditate in thy precepts: and haue respect vnto thy wayes.
©1611

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Sorry, sir, but we're actually trying to keep his death as quiet as possibly, so no obituary. You see, there was some speculation that my father committed suicide, and our family couldn't bear the shame. Eagle, Idaho can be very gossipy.

God hates you.

Proverbs 6
[16] These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
[17] A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
[18] An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
[19] A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Maybe God hates YOU.

...burn!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Maybe God hates YOU.

...burn!

Dear Godmocking Whore;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and spreading your legs for anyone with a dollar to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel