Long time reader, first time poster!

[Paradux]

Hi all - my name's Neville ... good to be here!
First things first, i would like to thank the Creator....of this page for possibly the greatest piece of troll bait anywhere on the interwebs.
If i believed in God i would also thank him for this fantastic alleviator of boredom.
i look forward to countless hours debating dinosaurs, homosexuality, child molestation (the sooner you admit it, the sooner we can move on) and maybe even some serious stuff like the scientific theory behind Creationism which fascinates me.
Just so you all know, i dont have a problem with the beliefs of anyone here. Believe what you want. Just do it quietly.
I think faith is a beautiful and potentially powerful thing. But unfortunately where there is faith there is invariably religion, and if there was actually a God i am sure He would smite those responsible for religion, the single biggest hurdle the human race faces in its next step of evolution (sorry for mentioning the 'E' word there).
so that is (some of ) me.
this will be enlightening

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Believe what you want. Just do it quietly.

Dear Friend,

How can we ever thank you enough for barging onto our site and oh-so-magnanimously permitting us to believe in God? How?

Perhaps you'd like to cordon off some area to keep us "quiet" in our religious observances? Auschwitz, perhaps?

Again, thank you for giving us the (highly qualified) gift of free speech! Our hero!

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Paradux]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Aaah....Born Again Bob, my favorite kind of Bob - once upon a time weak enough to submit so easily to the prodding of someone who previously you no doubt mocked for espousing so fervently the very beliefs you now purport to hold dear! Now you are strong - filled with the Word which you shall defend righteously from attacks, real or imagined!
There is no need to imply comparisons to Hitler - you cheeky Christians are so quick to leap to the extreme! Its cute, but usually stupid.
All i ask is that you dont try to force your beliefs down my throat and i wont force my facts down yours.
We can discuss our differing opinions, like intelligent people (as a born again you actually have an advantage over most people her, you actually WERE an intelligent person once) and hopefully we can enlighten each other occasionally.
I am open to any opinion, i just ask that you are too.

[Paradux]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

I almost forgot Bob, i love the way you signed off - 'Yours in Him'. Its something you usually only hear in a game of Priest vs Altar Boy Twister.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Rarely has anyone come to Landover and convinced me so easily. I have spoken to the other pastors and we are closing down and the entire congregation are going to become secular scientists, we have already dismissed the entire canon of Christianity, forsaken any hope of a Life Hereafter and feel rather foolish for having wasted our live and the lives of those who came here.

Now you have done your work, may I be the first use the freely translated words of Jesus to the moneylenders: "Why don't you just piss off and take your blasphemous garbage with you?"

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

All i ask is that you dont try to force your beliefs down my throat and i wont force my facts down yours.

I'm sorry, who is coming onto whose privately owned message board here? Do you also walk into privately owned houses and offices hurling insults and making demands?

child molestation (the sooner you admit it, the sooner we can move on)

I almost forgot Bob, i love the way you signed off - 'Yours in Him'. Its something you usually only hear in a game of Priest vs Altar Boy Twister.

For such a "long time reader", you don't seem to have absorbed the fact that we aren't papists and don't have priests or altar boys. Actual long time readers tend to, well, read.

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Bob - once upon a time weak enough to submit so easily to the prodding of someone who previously you no doubt mocked for espousing so fervently the very beliefs you now purport to hold dear!

Brothers, I think we've found who broke into the women's bath salts supply!

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Paradux]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Pastor Ezekiel, nice to meet you. Will that wonderful piece of paraphrasing be included in your next sermon on Tolerance, or do you think you will have read some more of the Bible before then?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Pastor Ezekiel, nice to meet you. Will that wonderful piece of paraphrasing be included in your next sermon on Tolerance, or do you think you will have read some more of the Bible before then?

Why on earth would any Bible-believing, God-fearing pastor want to preach about "tolerance"?!?!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Tolerance is an evil that must be eradicated! That is my title and that is my job for God. I will ask you to kindly show me any passage in the Bible that in any way indicates we should be tolerant!

Should we perhaps tolerate other gods? Adultery? Fornication? Homerism? Liars, whoremongers, thieves and murderers? Are we to tolerate the amount of evil in the world?

Sir, you are pointing the way to Damnation!

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

It is very impressive when one implements unnecessary pseudo-intellectuality by subjecting all kind of international words into sentences.

One might even be equally impressed, if rest of the text would match this display of superior awareness. Such as, I won't

i wont

Or should I try to diminish your valuable efforts by calling way of typing "I won't" in the way of "i wont" as cute.

[Paradux]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

just recieved an infraction notice...im a bit worried...it says - 'Serious infractions will never expire'. what not even if i repent? so God forgives, but the Landover Baptist Church forums dont?

[Paradux]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

It is very impressive when one implements unnecessary pseudo-intellectuality by subjecting all kind of international words into sentences.

One might even be equally impressed, if rest of the text would match this display of superior awareness. Such as, I won't



Or should I try to diminish your valuable efforts by calling way of typing "I won't" in the way of "i wont" as cute.

international words? oh you must mean foreign, words like intelligent, debate and opinion? foreign to some such as yourself, maybe. international? me thinks not.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

international words? oh you must mean foreign, words like intelligent, debate and opinion? foreign to some such as yourself, maybe. international? me thinks not.

Me thinks not. That was exactly the point of it.

If you want to impress people, you should not write that way. It only makes you look that you try to appear as intelligent.

[King Herod]

Re: Long time reader, first time poster!

Dear Friend,

How can we ever thank you enough for barging onto our site and oh-so-magnanimously permitting us to believe in God? How?

Perhaps you'd like to cordon off some area to keep us "quiet" in our religious observances? Auschwitz, perhaps?

Again, thank you for giving us the (highly qualified) gift of free speech! Our hero!

Yours in Him,
BAB

you should be happy you have free speech, as God did not allow free speech