[demonwhore]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

The only "out" she cares about is converting you so you can "come out of the closet".

I honestly believed she was a baptist friend, do you really think she is a bulldyke?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

I honestly believed she was a baptist friend, do you really think she is a bulldyke?

Yes, otherwise she wouldn't want to go anywhere near your cooter for any reason (this is also why you should avoid female "doctors").

[demonwhore]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Yes, otherwise she wouldn't want to go anywhere near your cooter for any reason (this is also why you should avoid female "doctors").

I am disgusted by her now that I know the truthLuckily she only "checked" my cooter once, sadly that bulldyke "checked" my anus for demons many times, I can't believe anyone would do this. Thanks for the heads up about the "doctors" looks like I will have to find a new MALE doctor.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

I am disgusted by her now that I know the truthLuckily she only "checked" my cooter once, sadly that bulldyke "checked" my anus for demons many times, I can't believe anyone would do this. Thanks for the heads up about the "doctors" looks like I will have to find a new MALE doctor.

No.. the only person qualified to check for demons is a respectable Pastor or Reverend.

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Demonfree, of course the best advice is to have your rectum checked by a certified pastor, but in a pinch you could temporarily have your local health department do it, because they are not real doctors, just pretend ones. Even though the church frowns on it, I still frequently take my entire family to a local health department for everything from dental work to major surgeries. Simply walk into your local health department and tell them to check the last 8-10 inches of your colon for demons. Demons don't usually stray over a foot from the rectum opening for some reason, probably sexual. They will usually prescribe a phychotropic or anti phychotic medication of some sort, which seems to work temporarily to rid you of colonic demons, unless you have what is known as an Africanized colonic demon, of course. In case you weren't aware, it is suspected that African rectal demons somehow bred with normal rectal demons to form the very aggressive "Africanized" variety, in which case a pastor will be mandatory. Hope this helps!
YiC

[demonwhore]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Demonfree, of course the best advice is to have your rectum checked by a certified pastor, but in a pinch you could temporarily have your local health department do it, because they are not real doctors, just pretend ones. Even though the church frowns on it, I still frequently take my entire family to a local health department for everything from dental work to major surgeries. Simply walk into your local health department and tell them to check the last 8-10 inches of your colon for demons. Demons don't usually stray over a foot from the rectum opening for some reason, probably sexual. They will usually prescribe a phychotropic or anti phychotic medication of some sort, which seems to work temporarily to rid you of colonic demons, unless you have what is known as an Africanized colonic demon, of course. In case you weren't aware, it is suspected that African rectal demons somehow bred with normal rectal demons to form the very aggressive "Africanized" variety, in which case a pastor will be mandatory. Hope this helps!
YiC

At the local health department do they check the same way a pastor checks?They are not as reliable as a pastor though, right?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Short answer, Yes, long answer, No:

My experiences at the Health Center weren’t that good. I was in Joo York at the time and, even whilst I was eating lunch at that Kazakhstani restaurant, I felt an attack of rectal demons coming on, so I called the nearest Center and told them I’d be coming in for treatment. I just made it in the taxi and, after a noisy call in the rest room, I emerged and said, “Bathfire. Rectal Demons!”

They seemed as if they had never heard of these before and told me to sit and wait. I told them that sitting down was simply encouraging the demons, now denied any escape, to infest further up the back passage and, in any case, I didn’t expect to wait long.

There were a few hurried phone calls and a Doctor Silberstein agreed to see me forthwith. I went to his office and there was some ancient woman where I’d expected to see a Doctor. I asked her if she were waiting to see Dr Silberstein as well. She said (and you’re not going to believe this) “I am Doctor Silberstein.”

I marched out and informed reception that there was a mad woman in Dr Silberstein’s office. They rushed off and, now left alone in a dangerous situation, I opened a few doors until I found a doctor who had an unimportant patient and told him I was in a hurry and there was double fees involved.

That got me the treatment. I lay on my side in the fetal position and a bottle brush was inserted as the Doctor read passages from the Old Testament. He then gave me a pack of things called “enema” and told me to take two a day until the feeling went away. I tell you, for all the good they did, I may as well stuffed them up my ass.

Anyway, see a Pastor.

[demonwhore]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Short answer, Yes, long answer, No:

My experiences at the Health Center weren’t that good. I was in Joo York at the time and, even whilst I was eating lunch at that Kazakhstani restaurant, I felt an attack of rectal demons coming on, so I called the nearest Center and told them I’d be coming in for treatment. I just made it in the taxi and, after a noisy call in the rest room, I emerged and said, “Bathfire. Rectal Demons!”

They seemed as if they had never heard of these before and told me to sit and wait. I told them that sitting down was simply encouraging the demons, now denied any escape, to infest further up the back passage and, in any case, I didn’t expect to wait long.

There were a few hurried phone calls and a Doctor Silberstein agreed to see me forthwith. I went to his office and there was some ancient woman where I’d expected to see a Doctor. I asked her if she were waiting to see Dr Silberstein as well. She said (and you’re not going to believe this) “I am Doctor Silberstein.”

I marched out and informed reception that there was a mad woman in Dr Silberstein’s office. They rushed off and, now left alone in a dangerous situation, I opened a few doors until I found a doctor who had an unimportant patient and told him I was in a hurry and there was double fees involved.

That got me the treatment. I lay on my side in the fetal position and a bottle brush was inserted as the Doctor read passages from the Old Testament. He then gave me a pack of things called “enema” and told me to take two a day until the feeling went away. I tell you, for all the good they did, I may as well stuffed them up my ass.

Anyway, see a Pastor.

Very helpful thank you! So can someone tell me where demons are most likely to be besides your rectum?

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Very helpful thank you! So can someone tell me where demons are most likely to be besides your rectum?

[sir darren of price]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

i have just read this worryikng thread, is it possible i could have demons in my rectum?

[SUV]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

i have just read this worryikng thread, is it possible i could have demons in my rectum?

This is where they usually hide, as they like the damp and the dark.

PS Also check for mushrooms

[SUV]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

My experiences at the Health Center weren’t that good.

Poor Brother Bathfire I'm so happy that I have a real (Male) CHRISTIAN Doctor, and feel Blessed to have read the following from a pamphlet in his waiting room. I could barely concentrate above the Cheery Chatter of the TV set, but I think I got the gist of it:

"Do you suffer from wanting to spend time alone? If so, you may be suffering from the "I'm too shy" disease.
Ask your Doctor about the latest psychedelic pill for Shyness Disorder."

And then (this may have been the TV, tho) it went on to say: "In clinical trials, this drug had the following minor side effects: Headaches, diarrhea, nausea, cough, bladder infections, depression, suicidal thoughts, fever blisters, colitis, weakened immune system, and shyness. (Deemons all! - SUV). And a very small number of individuals died as a result of taking this medication."

Praise!

[sir darren of price]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

This is where they usually hide, as they like the damp and the dark.

PS Also check for mushrooms

what do i do?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

what do i do?

For a small fee Billy Bob Jenkins will check for you.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Can demons only be in your rectum?

Buying a mirror would be a start.