Hello

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Hello all, my name is Richard and I think I've been drawn to this website by God. I was raised as a baptist, but now I want to become a True Christian. I've already read the entire Kings James Bible and can quote it word for word, I've asked God to forgive me of all the sins I've ever committed, and I can already fill the loving warmth of God's embrace. Praise be to Jesus

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello

Welcome to our friendly forum!

What sins did you commit before you asked Jesus to forgive them?

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Re: Hello

I asked him to forgive me of any sin I might have committed, including the original sin committed by Eve in the beginning.

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Re: Hello

I was wondering, what else must I do to rid myself of my false-christian background and become an official True Christian?

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello

I was wondering, what else must I do to rid myself of my false-christian background and become an official True Christian?

You haven't read the basic stuff?
Read the whole Bible and follow it!

The advanced course?
Read the whole Bible and follow it!

Simple.

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Re: Hello

Since I've already memorized the Bible and am well on my way to doing everything is commands I feel relieved .

I had a bit of question for those more experienced than I. In my field of work I have to use physics and mathematics to design and build aircraft for the USAF. I had read a few posts about how physics and mathematics were the work of Satan. Is there a Christian alternative to physics that I can use to do my job? I don't want to help Satan anymore .

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello

Since I've already memorized the Bible and am well on my way to doing everything is commands I feel relieved .

Don't. You have a long way to go.

I had a bit of question for those more experienced than I. In my field of work I have to use physics and mathematics to design and build aircraft for the USAF. I had read a few posts about how physics and mathematics were the work of Satan. Is there a Christian alternative to physics that I can use to do my job? I don't want to help Satan anymore .

Silly question. The answer is of course:

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Re: Hello

Don't. You have a long way to go.

Now that I follow the Bible's every word, what the next step in my salvation?

Silly question. The answer is of course:

I understand the Bible is the source of indisputable fact and truth; what I need is something to design our godly fighter planes with. Before my enlightenment, I used Bernoulli's law of fluid dynamics to calculate the best designs, but I'm not sure if this is acceptable to use since Bernoulli didn't believe in our lord Jesus and is now burning in Hell.

[wait_what]

Re: Hello

Now that I follow the Bible's every word, what the next step in my salvation?



I understand the Bible is the source of indisputable fact and truth; what I need is something to design our godly fighter planes with. Before my enlightenment, I used Bernoulli's law of fluid dynamics to calculate the best designs, but I'm not sure if this is acceptable to use since Bernoulli didn't believe in our lord Jesus and is now burning in Hell.

Next step, tithing.

For your better replacement of physics. There is nothing better than the Bible and prayer.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello

Before my enlightenment, I used Bernoulli's law of fluid dynamics to calculate the best designs, but I'm not sure if this is acceptable to use since Bernoulli didn't believe in our lord Jesus and is now burning in Hell.

Come on, even a child knows this.



Where:
is the fluid flow speed at a point on a streamline,
is the acceleration due to God's intelligent pulling (e.g. God likes Americans more that Mexicans so intelligent pulling is higher in the USA),
is the elevation in the direction of Heaven of the point above a reference plane, with the positive z-direction pointing upward – so in the direction opposite to the acceleration due to God's intelligent pulling,
is God's intelligent pushing at the chosen point, and
is the density of the fluid at all points in the fluid.

Please note this formula is not valid on Sundays or during the rapture as on those days God is either resting or too busy.

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Re: Hello

Come on, even a child knows this.

Yes, this is Bernoulli's law of fluid dynamics. I was wondering if there was a different equation used by True Christians for their physics.

Also, while I'm talking to someone so versed in the ways of the Bible, what area's of science should I stay clear of in the future?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Hello

Yes, this is Bernoulli's law of fluid dynamics. I was wondering if there was a different equation used by True Christians for their physics.

Also, while I'm talking to someone so versed in the ways of the Bible, what area's of science should I stay clear of in the future?

Anything that denies God or Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

I was wondering, what else must I do to rid myself of my false-christian background and become an official True Christian?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello

Yes, this is Bernoulli's law of fluid dynamics. I was wondering if there was a different equation used by True Christians for their physics.

No! You clearly didn't bother to read the details I provided.

Bernoulli's law is based on gravity, a secular hoax created to mock God. This hoax backfired though since scientists have to admit over and over again that even they don't understand how it works. That money gobbling LHC donut in Australia hasn't done much useful yet either.

The formula I gave you is based on intelligent pulling, intelligent pushing, God loving America and relative distance of an object to Heaven. I am highly disappointed that you failed to see the difference.

Since you are new here I am going to repeat myself exactly once. Don't let this happen again!

Where:
is the fluid flow speed at a point on a streamline,
is the acceleration due to God's intelligent pulling (e.g. God likes Americans more that Mexicans so intelligent pulling is higher in the USA),
is the elevation in the direction of Heaven of the point above a reference plane, with the positive z-direction pointing upward – so in the direction opposite to the acceleration due to God's intelligent pulling,
is God's intelligent pushing at the chosen point, and
is the density of the fluid at all points in the fluid.

Please note this formula is not valid on Sundays or during the rapture as on those days God is either resting or too busy.

[Richard "Why" Mayweather]

Re: Hello

No! You clearly didn't bother to read the details I provided.

I know that each are based on different principles, but the equations are exactly the same. All the constants even have the same values (although they go by different names).

Also, I don't understand why physics is bad. I agree that anything that denies the truth of the Bible and Jesus can't be good, but physics (at least the physics I use on a daily basis) doesn't deny God at all. They don't try to explain the deeper aspects of reality because that isn't their purpose. Their only purpose is to allow us to observe and predict phenomena based on what we already know.