X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • John Creeser
    Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
     
    • Aug 2009
    • 7248

    #16
    Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

    Originally posted by Humanist View Post
    Ah the assumptions we make about each other when we don't know each other well.

    I am sure we will become friends in time as you all seem like you are rational beings and we are one and the same under the skin.

    I bid you all a fond good night and I will pop by tomorrow evening to see if anyone has mellowed towards the idea that love is the answer.
    My disillusioned friend - JESUS IS THE ANSWER!! We will never "mellow" in regards to that truth.

    John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
    -Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
    -DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!

    -FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
    -There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
    -Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
    -Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
    -WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!

    STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!


    Comment

    • Dan U. Holier
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2011
      • 1180

      #17
      Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

      Originally posted by John Creeser View Post
      What is that hideous blue nazi demonic abomination!??! It's fat too, like a glutinous pig - look how in shape Jesus is.
      Exactly! It is well know that Jesus had fabulous six-pack abs!

      Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


      ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

      Comment

      • Faith_Machine
        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Mar 2011
        • 10050

        #18
        Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

        Originally posted by Humanist View Post
        ...you are all such wonderful people trying to find your own way to make sense of this marvel of consciousness we all share.
        Where did you get this notion that we are all wonderful people? Before I came to know Jesus, I spent nearly a decade of my life using drugs, having premarital sex, and masturbating to pornography. Even after accepting Jesus, I had a relapse or two and masturbated!

        Some people here have done even worse things than that!
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10050

          #19
          Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

          Originally posted by John Creeser View Post


          What is that hideous blue nazi demonic abomination!??! It's fat too, like a glutinous pig - look how in shape Jesus is.
          It is important to understand that Ganesha's elephant head is the result of an attempt by a Hindu god to cover up an act of infanticide:

          While some texts say that Ganesha was born with an elephant head, in most stories he acquires the head later. The most recurrent motif in these stories is that Ganesha was born with a human head and body and that Shiva beheaded him when Ganesha came between Shiva and Parvati. Shiva then replaced Ganesha's original head with that of an elephant.
          Shiva had chopped the kid's head off, you see, without realizing he was the child of Parvati, a female deity whose pants he was trying to get into. In a panic, he grafted an elephant's head onto the dead baby's body, hoping to hide his crime.


          I'm sure this blood-curdling horror story will make you doubly glad that we worship a just and loving God who would only kill children if their parents were guilty of especially egregious sins!
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #20
            Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

            Originally posted by mikefoster View Post
            First let me say I love you all. You are all so special because you are like me, a human. This means that, like other animals we are all connected by the wonder of the world we find ourselves in. However, we have such a special place due to our intelligence and ability to make things with our hands that evolution gave us.

            I have no favourite church because to me all ways to see the world are equally valid. It doesn't matter if you are a hindu or moslem or buddhist, you are all such wonderful people trying to find your own way to make sense of this marvel of consciousness we all share.

            Jesus to me is just an expression of our need to make sense of existence and is just as special as ganesh is to hindus who like elephants in some special way I don't understand (but respect totally as is only right and proper).

            I think it is just so important to love everyone and respect everyone as we make our way through life while being true to ourselves.

            I know this is a christian forum so I will try my hardest not to tread on any toes while listening to your thoughts on our inevitable love for each other and our respect for whichever god (or none) that we follow.
            If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

            If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

            You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

            Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • HallelujahHallelujah
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Oct 2011
              • 53

              #21
              Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

              Originally posted by Dan U. Holier View Post
              It's definitely repulsive. What kind of scum worships that abomination? No wonder the natzis were inspired by it.

              Comment

              • Dan U. Holier
                True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Jul 2011
                • 1180

                #22
                Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

                Originally posted by HallelujahHallelujah View Post
                It's definitely repulsive. What kind of scum worships that abomination? No wonder the natzis were inspired by it.
                I revoke my previous remark about “hybrid between elephant and Hermann Goering” and replace it with notion on this abomination looking more like a hybrid between octopus and Goering. Gross!

                Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


                ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

                Comment

                • Vavoline Johnson
                  Mammy
                  Forum Member
                  • Apr 2009
                  • 960

                  #23
                  Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

                  Originally posted by mikefoster View Post
                  Why would I hide that I am acting according to the urgings of my conscience? Is this in some way wrong?

                  snip

                  Oh Lawd I jist saw "you was actin cordin to your urges" and couldn't read no mo.
                  Public flatuations, even if you just writin about it is sinful. If you cant control yo-self you neednt be sharin this here specially wif us wimman folk readin it.
                  Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                  Comment

                  • Dan U. Holier
                    True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Jul 2011
                    • 1180

                    #24
                    Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

                    Originally posted by Vavoline Johnson View Post
                    Oh Lawd I jist saw "you was actin cordin to your urges" and couldn't read no mo.
                    Public flatuations, even if you just writin about it is sinful. If you cant control yo-self you neednt be sharin this here specially wif us wimman folk readin it.
                    Exactly Ms. Johnson; this was an unwanted sexual advance, hair-assment and objectification of all Christian women that did or shall read this thread! For shame! We cannot let this Godly forum to turn into an euro-trashy, LIEberal abyss of sin!

                    I've already reported the misogynic pervert!
                    Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


                    ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

                    Comment

                    • Vavoline Johnson
                      Mammy
                      Forum Member
                      • Apr 2009
                      • 960

                      #25
                      Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

                      Originally posted by Dan U. Holier View Post
                      Exactly Ms. Johnson; this was an unwanted sexual advance, hair-assment and objectification of all Christian women that did or shall read this thread! For shame! We cannot let this Godly forum to turn into an euro-trashy, LIEberal abyss of sin!

                      I've already reported the misogynic pervert!

                      Hallerween, Knatzies, hermosextruarals, Uppity Colored folks, Fairies and debils! Peoples thinkin this heres Craigs List an they slummin fo sex!!
                      Good lawd them folks on da fast track to hell Mr Brother Dan!
                      Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                      Comment

                      Working...