[John Creeser]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

Ah the assumptions we make about each other when we don't know each other well.

I am sure we will become friends in time as you all seem like you are rational beings and we are one and the same under the skin.

I bid you all a fond good night and I will pop by tomorrow evening to see if anyone has mellowed towards the idea that love is the answer.

My disillusioned friend - JESUS IS THE ANSWER!! We will never "mellow" in regards to that truth.

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

What is that hideous blue nazi demonic abomination!??! It's fat too, like a glutinous pig - look how in shape Jesus is.

Exactly! It is well know that Jesus had fabulous six-pack abs!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

...you are all such wonderful people trying to find your own way to make sense of this marvel of consciousness we all share.

Where did you get this notion that we are all wonderful people? Before I came to know Jesus, I spent nearly a decade of my life using drugs, having premarital sex, and masturbating to pornography. Even after accepting Jesus, I had a relapse or two and masturbated!

Some people here have done even worse things than that!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

What is that hideous blue nazi demonic abomination!??! It's fat too, like a glutinous pig - look how in shape Jesus is.

It is important to understand that Ganesha's elephant head is the result of an attempt by a Hindu god to cover up an act of infanticide:

While some texts say that Ganesha was born with an elephant head, in most stories he acquires the head later. The most recurrent motif in these stories is that Ganesha was born with a human head and body and that Shiva beheaded him when Ganesha came between Shiva and Parvati. Shiva then replaced Ganesha's original head with that of an elephant.

Shiva had chopped the kid's head off, you see, without realizing he was the child of Parvati, a female deity whose pants he was trying to get into. In a panic, he grafted an elephant's head onto the dead baby's body, hoping to hide his crime.


I'm sure this blood-curdling horror story will make you doubly glad that we worship a just and loving God who would only kill children if their parents were guilty of especially egregious sins!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

First let me say I love you all. You are all so special because you are like me, a human. This means that, like other animals we are all connected by the wonder of the world we find ourselves in. However, we have such a special place due to our intelligence and ability to make things with our hands that evolution gave us.

I have no favourite church because to me all ways to see the world are equally valid. It doesn't matter if you are a hindu or moslem or buddhist, you are all such wonderful people trying to find your own way to make sense of this marvel of consciousness we all share.

Jesus to me is just an expression of our need to make sense of existence and is just as special as ganesh is to hindus who like elephants in some special way I don't understand (but respect totally as is only right and proper).

I think it is just so important to love everyone and respect everyone as we make our way through life while being true to ourselves.

I know this is a christian forum so I will try my hardest not to tread on any toes while listening to your thoughts on our inevitable love for each other and our respect for whichever god (or none) that we follow.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[HallelujahHallelujah]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

It's definitely repulsive. What kind of scum worships that abomination? No wonder the natzis were inspired by it.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

It's definitely repulsive. What kind of scum worships that abomination? No wonder the natzis were inspired by it.

I revoke my previous remark about “hybrid between elephant and Hermann Goering” and replace it with notion on this abomination looking more like a hybrid between octopus and Goering. Gross!

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

Why would I hide that I am acting according to the urgings of my conscience? Is this in some way wrong?

snip

Oh Lawd I jist saw "you was actin cordin to your urges" and couldn't read no mo.
Public flatuations, even if you just writin about it is sinful. If you cant control yo-self you neednt be sharin this here specially wif us wimman folk readin it.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

Oh Lawd I jist saw "you was actin cordin to your urges" and couldn't read no mo.
Public flatuations, even if you just writin about it is sinful. If you cant control yo-self you neednt be sharin this here specially wif us wimman folk readin it.

Exactly Ms. Johnson; this was an unwanted sexual advance, hair-assment and objectification of all Christian women that did or shall read this thread! For shame! We cannot let this Godly forum to turn into an euro-trashy, LIEberal abyss of sin!

I've already reported the misogynic pervert!

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Hello to all my fellow humans

Exactly Ms. Johnson; this was an unwanted sexual advance, hair-assment and objectification of all Christian women that did or shall read this thread! For shame! We cannot let this Godly forum to turn into an euro-trashy, LIEberal abyss of sin!

I've already reported the misogynic pervert!

Hallerween, Knatzies, hermosextruarals, Uppity Colored folks, Fairies and debils! Peoples thinkin this heres Craigs List an they slummin fo sex!!
Good lawd them folks on da fast track to hell Mr Brother Dan!