Greatings from the cold

[theonlyoneinthecold]

I am known as Robert Edwise, a noble gentleman and a very religious one at that. Furthermore I believe it is discernible that I, along with a few other select individuals, are the most pious men in the entire christian world. Thus anything I proclaim and/or decree shalt be deemed as truth.

[theonlyoneinthecold]

Re: Greatings from the cold

I beseech your assistance for I have been boggled by a most flummoxing problem as of late. Namely that my noble and honoured son proclaimed that he, for no apparent reason, has decided to forgo our daily church attendance and instead work on his studies. Surely this is heresy in it's purest form! Church and the devotion to our omnipotent and almighty lord is much more important than such feeble things like studies, science and math. All hail the Son, the Father and the Holy Ghost.

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Greatings from the cold

Explain your username. As an Eskimo, I find it offensive that you so readily dismiss my existence.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Greatings from the cold

...I, along with a few other select individuals, are the most pious men in the entire christian world...

Explain this phrase. As a True Christian™, I find it offensive that you so readily dismiss my existence.

...blah, blah ...my son proclaimed that he, for no apparent reason, has decided to forgo our daily church attendance and instead work on his studies. Surely this is heresy in it's purest form!... blah, blah...

Do you consider your son retarded hence disabled to fulfill both of his religious obligations?

Explain your username. As an Eskimo, I find it offensive that you so readily dismiss my existence.

Apparently, swisskimos believe they exterminated all other Eskimos; apparently, they’re wrong.

***

I don’t think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship; at least it doesn’t seem that way.

YiC, DUH

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greatings from the cold

What religion do you follow, friend?
You are the first Noble man I have ever met (besides God, of course). Can I call you Grace?

[theonlyoneinthecold]

Re: Greatings from the cold

Firstly I would like to reply to the person offended by my noble username. I did not mean any disrespect to you or any other christian individual. It is merely a metaphor.

I namely feel that I, in my present location, am the only true christian and that the environment feels cold due to the lack of proper respect for God the Almighty and omnipotent. Thus; I am the only one here in a cold environment. Not an actual location.

Secondly I wish to reply to the person who accidentally mistook my statement as one of malice. I did not mean that only a few people were selected by God. I meant that as a relative term when juxtapositioned with the entire earth's populus. For example: Us noble christians are a minority when compared to the world and all of it's inhabitants. Thus; we are few. My apologies for disrespecting you although I had no intention to do so.

Thirdly I wish to stress that my noble and pious son has been a good christian all of his life. Although lately I have become befuddled by his behaviour. That is why I asked you for help. Has he become possessed by the Devil?

Fourthly I wish to say that I follow the one and only true religion of course. The christianity that Jesus and the lord himself conveyed to us. Also, you may not call me Grace. That, my good sir, is a girl's name! I feel deeply offended by this lack of respect and I demand an apology post-haste!

[Humongous]

Re: Greatings from the cold

Well, welcome to these Godly forums, I sure am sorry you is feeling the cold. whenever I get a chill, or the trailer gets a bit drafty, I'll burn a few shovel fulls of dry cat dung. the odor is powerful putird, but the heat feels so nice ya barely notice the reek after a while.

yic,
Lori Humongous

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greatings from the cold

.....I demand ........

Excuse me??? YOU demand? The only being that makes demands of me are Pastors, Reverends and God. You are UnsavedTrash. My slutty daughter is better than you.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greatings from the cold

Welcome aboard, nobleman! Is there much in-breeding in your family?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Greatings from the cold

I beseech your assistance for I have been boggled by a most flummoxing problem as of late. Namely that my noble and honoured son proclaimed that he, for no apparent reason, has decided to forgo our daily church attendance and instead work on his studies. Surely this is heresy in it's purest form! Church and the devotion to our omnipotent and almighty lord is much more important than such feeble things like studies, science and math. All hail the Son, the Father and the Holy Ghost.

and there is your problem. Sons do NOT decide! Father's decide. You are entirely to blame here. If you were in a half-civilized country, you would be marched to the town square and horse-whipped for gross dereliction of paternal duties, being flaccid in the face of godless defiance and allowing yourself to behave like a woman!

I expect that in the next few months your wife will leave you and your son will become a homer!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greatings from the cold

"Greatings from the cold"?

Really?

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Greatings from the cold

Oh my. I just looked at this person's profile, and what do I see?

Occupation
i'm a carpenter, i make furniture for a living, I was a former priest

Was a former priest? Past tense? You know what this means, brothers and sisters?

PAPIST ALERT!!

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Greatings from the cold

"Greatings from the cold"?

Really?

Maybe he just mixed up words and meant it as Cretin from the cold.