X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: Hi! Lets be friends

    Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
    We would never joke about such a serious matter. Please see this thread.
    Thats why I had a shocked face, because you can't joke about stuff like that.

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Hi! Lets be friends

      Originally posted by cheesynibbles View Post
      Thats why I had a shocked face, because you can't joke about stuff like that.
      Dear Pervert;

      What is your actual name? I'm not going to call you "nibbles" because that is my pet name for one of my junior pastors.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Hi! Lets be friends

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Dear Pervert;

        What is your actual name? I'm not going to call you "nibbles" because that is my pet name for one of my junior pastors.
        Pastor Ezekiel is winkin' at you so you better answer up, you gomer

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Hi! Lets be friends

          Originally posted by SUV View Post
          Pastor Ezekiel is winkin' at you so you better answer up, you gomer
          I don't really care if he's winkin at me!!!

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Hi! Lets be friends

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Dear Pervert;

            What is your actual name? I'm not going to call you "nibbles" because that is my pet name for one of my junior pastors.
            How am I a pervert??

            My god... I've been exposed to a lot of crap on the internet, but this one takes the cake.
            Arguewitheveryone.com doesn't even come close with the amount of bull shit on this site. It's filled with rednecks and hillbillies. I think Dave would fit in perfectly.

            Some funny threads:

            Christians trying to force a woman to marry her rapist: What can you do if your daughter refuses to marry her rapist?? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums

            Christian pissed because his wife replaced him for a shower head:
            Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums

            Christian telling others to not marry Japanese women (Funny & true article):
            Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off! - The Landover Baptist Church Forums

            Christian claiming having an erection in public is illegal:
            Look out for Erections! and report them to the police! - The Landover Baptist Church Forums

            Christian wants to know at what age he should stop spanking his daughters. Funny thing is, he seems to get some sexual arousal in doing so and the other members also take part in the sexual stimulation:


            Quote from one of the threads:
            "If Jesus had had kids I suppose he would have used a wooden paddle or a switch or maybe palm boughs. Being a carpenter I bet he had strong hands and arms. Jesus would have spanked extra hard. DO you think I should be spanked the ways Jesus would have spanked his kids, if he had had kids?"

            Hmm, obviously a closet fag...

            Another quote:
            "Through Jesus, all things are possible. But first we'd like to hear the details of the papist horrors unleashed on your nubile young body. Did they defile you with a crucifix? Get you drunk on the cheap dago wine they pass off as Christ's actual blood? How many mary worshiping pervert "fathers" used you as their party ewe? Please don't spare us the details."

            How the fuck would the details of how a guy got sodomized have anything to do with getting "saved" from god? This pastor is obviously another closet fag.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Hi! Lets be friends

              Dear God-Mocking Retard:

              Do you think we aren't familiar with the content of this forum? We need you to provide a table of contents?

              And incidentally: Christian claiming having an erection in public is illegal:

              It is. Men can be, and are, arrested in every state of the Union for having erections in public, whether in clothes or not. Even in God-mocking leftie states like Oregon, where public nudity is not merely legal but even encouraged, a man (or woman) in a demonstrable state of sexual arousal is subject to arrest and prosecution.

              Get your facts straight, idiot.
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                Dear God-Mocking Retard:

                Do you think we aren't familiar with the content of this forum? We need you to provide a table of contents?

                And incidentally: Christian claiming having an erection in public is illegal:

                It is. Men can be, and are, arrested in every state of the Union for having erections in public, whether in clothes or not. Even in God-mocking leftie states like Oregon, where public nudity is not merely legal but even encouraged, a man (or woman) in a demonstrable state of sexual arousal is subject to arrest and prosecution.

                Get your facts straight, idiot.
                Calling Oregon god-mocking, cause that ain't steoryotyping is it?? And it's only illegal in pussy states, I looked it up AND asked an officer. To be honest this whole site is just one big troll isn't it. I mean what about the pedo's that wanted to know about someones sexual abuse??? Just a bunch of closet fags really. By the way having an erection in public is the only thing you could correct me on. And half the Pastor's here are child abusing closet fags who persecute others just to hide their own represseed homosexuality!!! So take that Rodimer!!!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                  Originally posted by cheesynibbles View Post
                  Calling Oregon god-mocking, cause that ain't steoryotyping is it?? And it's only illegal in pussy states, I looked it up AND asked an officer. To be honest this whole site is just one big troll isn't it. I mean what about the pedo's that wanted to know about someones sexual abuse??? Just a bunch of closet fags really. By the way having an erection in public is the only thing you could correct me on. And half the Pastor's here are child abusing closet fags who persecute others just to hide their own represseed homosexuality!!! So take that Rodimer!!!
                  Don't be ridiculous. If we were trolling, why would we take such care to quote the King James Bible correctly and in context to back up our beliefs? If we say something that we can back up with Scripture, and you take offense, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
                  This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                  Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                    Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
                    Don't be ridiculous. If we were trolling, why would we take such care to quote the King James Bible correctly and in context to back up our beliefs? If we say something that we can back up with Scripture, and you take offense, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
                    No mate, I'm offended by your racist remarks. Especially the little "as white as Jesus was". Now that's just racist. Especially with the little KKK logo. Now if black people were wrong, why would Jesus make them.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                      Originally posted by cheesynibbles View Post
                      No mate, I'm offended by your racist remarks.
                      If our beliefs aren't solidly based in Scripture, then show us, using Scripture, how we're wrong.

                      Especially the little "as white as Jesus was". Now that's just racist. Especially with the little KKK logo. Now if black people were wrong, why would Jesus make them.
                      Have you ever used your Bible for anything other than propping up a wobbly table?

                      Genesis 9:20-27: And Noah began [to be] an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid [it] upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces [were] backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed [be] Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. And he said, Blessed [be] the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
                      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                      Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                      sigpic

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                        Originally posted by cheesynibbles View Post
                        Now that's just racist.
                        It Wounds me when we are seen as being racy. I, for one, am a Born-Again Virgin!

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                          Originally posted by cheesynibbles View Post
                          Calling Oregon god-mocking, cause that ain't steoryotyping is it??
                          How is that "steoryotyping"? Please explain.

                          And it's only illegal in pussy states, I looked it up AND asked an officer.
                          Really? Do list for me the states where it is legal to sport an erection while walking about in public. Include references. Since you 'looked it up', that shouldn't be much to ask, right?

                          And half the Pastor's here are child abusing closet fags who persecute others just to hide their own represseed homosexuality!!! So take that Rodimer!!!
                          Take what? Your witless persecution? Thank you! It is a blessing before God.
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                            How is that "steoryotyping"? Please explain.


                            Really? Do list for me the states where it is legal to sport an erection while walking about in public. Include references. Since you 'looked it up', that shouldn't be much to ask, right?


                            Take what? Your witless persecution? Thank you! It is a blessing before God.
                            actually search around posts the closet fags willkeep popping up

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                              well, hi Cheesy Nipples, and welcome to these Godly forums.

                              I think you might want to get right with Christ, and try a little prayer to get those nipples less cheesy. Mama (RIP) once had the necrotizing fasciitis localized entirely on her aureolas? dr tittleman thought she caught it from one of them Puerta Rican families she was wet nursing for to raise money for her Thorazine pills.

                              yic
                              Genesis 1:24
                              And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Hi! Lets be friends

                                Originally posted by cheesynibbles View Post
                                actually search around posts the closet fags willkeep popping up
                                Let's try again:

                                How is that "steoryotyping"? Please explain.


                                Really? Do list for me the states where it is legal to sport an erection while walking about in public. Include references. Since you 'looked it up', that shouldn't be much to ask, right?
                                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X