[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Halllujah!

Dear Rev Rodimer

Your right reverend, there IS no Biblical reference about the length of the Lord Jesus' hair, those dang liberals have made Him out to be some kinda new age hippy with his sandals and dress probably sticking a flower down the barrel of a Roman Centurion's spear!

Why I bet when we meet the Lord very soon when the Rapture hits he's got desert fatigues on and a regimental tattoo with a picture of a skull and His big daddy's True Face on it!

My word you guys at Landover Baptist are the most straight talkin' Christians I've encountered!

How did you learn to talk like that over in Godless Scotland?

So now I'm here amongst True Christians can y'all help me with a question? The Lord justifiably hates many people, animals, places, types of clothes, false religions, evolutionists and so on but what is His stance on GINGERS? I'm not talking auburn hair or anything like that, I mean full on pale skinned freckly freaks with bright carrot tops - does Scripture have anything to say on this matter? Would Jesus really want these evil people inhabiting the Gardens Of Paradise?

There is a thread on the subject of gingers HERE.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

From when I lived in the States? God didn't say nuthin about moving house (and country did he)? Scotland is crawling with Gingers sir

[True Daughter of God]

Re: Halllujah!

Why I bet when we meet the Lord very soon when the Rapture hits he's got desert fatigues on and a regimental tattoo with a picture of a skull and His big daddy's True Face on it!

Biffmeister... Our precious Lord and Savior would NOT have such a tattoo displayed on his heavenly body.

Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any markes vpon you: I am the Lord.


Always Yours In Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Halllujah!

From when I lived in the States? God didn't say nuthin about moving house (and country did he)? Scotland is crawling with Gingers sir

You don't live in the United States. Our JesOS Operating System has sorted you out.

Time to come clean for Christ. Put down the Jameson's, and pick up a Bible, Scotty.

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Where I live is irrelevant, I am as Landover Baptist as the next True Christian.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Halllujah!

Where I live is irrelevant, I am as Landover Baptist as the next True Christian.

True. Except that you are not Landover baptist, or True Christian™.

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

I need to be to get into Heaven, help me become one or at least as close to one as possible!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

I need to be to get into Heaven, help me become one or at least as close to one as possible!

Get reading your Bible (KJV1611) cover to cover!

Chop chop!

YIC
Posted via Mobile Device

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Excellent I will do thank you!

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Is there anybody at Landover who has personally met Jack Chick (or the feller he works with who can draw better than he can)? Are you associates of his? What about Kent Hovind? Does anybody here visit him in jail? Or write to him? If I ever manage to be the first Scotch True Christian this, for me, would be something I'd really aspire to do. Obviously this is chicken feed compared to when I meet Jesus and His Daddy but it would still be something I'd treasure.

And not in any kind of homer way, I don't want to kiss them or anything. Just shake their hand for their work for the Lord. I'd wear gloves.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Is there anybody at Landover who has personally met Jack Chick (or the feller he works with who can draw better than he can)? Are you associates of his? What about Kent Hovind? Does anybody here visit him in jail? Or write to him? If I ever manage to be the first Scotch True Christian this, for me, would be something I'd really aspire to do. Obviously this is chicken feed compared to when I meet Jesus and His Daddy but it would still be something I'd treasure.

And not in any kind of homer way, I don't want to kiss them or anything. Just shake their hand for their work for the Lord. I'd wear gloves.

I too have a vested interest in Mr Chick. In my unsaved life I would play the Dungeons & Dragons. One look at his inspired tracts put me on the straight and narrow, oh yes!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

I've since learnt that one of my ex friends was so deeply ensorcelled into the disgusting 'roll play' that he could no longer distinguish between reality and delusion! He apparany believes he has the power to influence people's mind and a cabal of dark suited demons rewards his efforts with material wealth

A close shave, indeed, oh yes!

YIC
Posted via Mobile Device

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

How ridiculous, only God has that power!

My favourite tract is 'Big daddy' wherein the combined God-inspired might of Hovind and Chick utterly destroy the idiot Satanic evolutionist. This is done using Scripture-backed incisive scientific fact and logic!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Halllujah!

Is there anybody at Landover who has personally met Jack Chick (or the feller he works with who can draw better than he can)? Are you associates of his? What about Kent Hovind? Does anybody here visit him in jail? Or write to him? If I ever manage to be the first Scotch True Christian this, for me, would be something I'd really aspire to do. Obviously this is chicken feed compared to when I meet Jesus and His Daddy but it would still be something I'd treasure.

And not in any kind of homer way, I don't want to kiss them or anything. Just shake their hand for their work for the Lord. I'd wear gloves.

I've spent a good deal of time with prison ministries in my past, and I know just how harsh it can be in there. That said, I haven't spent a great deal of time studying the so-called "Dr. Dino". To me it always seemed like a gimmick--a man more interested in making money off of God than of spreading the True Word of God. Sure, he used sound Biblical science(r), but I suspect that he was more of a luster for money rather than for Biblical Truths.

But of course that is simply speculation on my part. He was a poster-child for the US government to tack up to the wall, for Obama to send a message to us True Believers out there that he is keeping tabs on us. Fortunately we haven't bowed to the pressure and we have continued to fight the good Fight, with the Help of the One Who watches over us. Praise Jesus!

[Biff Banner]

Re: Halllujah!

Every night I pray that when Dr Dino goes down on his knees to worship at night he has not been forced down on his knees a mere hour earlier by a group of black men in the showers and shown the business side oif the homosexual agenda.

I am sure God Himself will protect an innocent man in this situation, although of course if He chooses not to that is entirely His lookout. Praise Him!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Halllujah!

I've since learnt that one of my ex friends was so deeply ensorcelled into the disgusting 'roll play' that he could no longer distinguish between reality and delusion! He apparany believes he has the power to influence people's mind and a cabal of dark suited demons rewards his efforts with material wealth

I didn't know you were once friends with Bill Gates!

What other secrets have you been keeping?