Hello fellow Christians!

[SlimJim5]

Finally, a forum which caters to what God wants US to do! My name is James and my favorite quote is Exodus 22:18: "Do not allow a sorceress to live." My daughter was into that Wiccan crap until I burned down her books she's been hiding in her school locker! (Good thing our teachers do locker inspections every week) I scared her with Jesus. I hope to learn more from you guys how to control an unruly family, all with going to the nip nail salon, listening to coldplay, and talking about hopes and dreams of becoming anything else than a housewife.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

A warm and hearty handshake to you!

I too dislike wizards: as you can see from my sig.

Abe: I also hate Coldplay (like most normal people).

Your's in Christ

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

Finally, a forum which caters to what God wants US to do! My name is James and my favorite quote is Exodus 22:18: "Do not allow a sorceress to live." My daughter was into that Wiccan crap until I burned down her books she's been hiding in her school locker! (Good thing our teachers do locker inspections every week) I scared her with Jesus. I hope to learn more from you guys how to control an unruly family, all with going to the nip nail salon, listening to coldplay, and talking about hopes and dreams of becoming anything else than a housewife.

Hello, ApplemanSlimJim5.

This isn't a forum that you can come to and demand answers. This where you are supposed to introduce yourself and tell is more about how you strive to be more like our loving Lord every day of your life.

Tell us, James (if that is your real name): how many children do you have? What ministries do you support? How is it that you came to know the Lord? What brought you here to God's Favorite Church?

[SlimJim5]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

Hello Dr. Ville. Sorry if I came too overbearing. I was telling the little lady to take off her shoes while in the kitchen. I have 6 children (2 girls and 4 boys). I was brought here by a whim, actually. The Lord answered my prayers after telling him I need to find a community of like-minded people. I came from Joplin, MO, and I attend the Wildwood Southern Baptist Church, but I want to study more about the Lord. I used to be a horrible man who had lust and shame in his heart for all things bad (black women, starbucks) but now I want to learn from you Rightful People how to become closer to Him!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

Friedn, I am sorry to hear your daughter is a lesbian. Though her being just a female, it is not like a real loss or anything. I do have to wonder why God would punish you with such an embarassment. Not one of my daughters is a rug muncher. I have checked.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

Hello Dr. Ville. Sorry if I came too overbearing. I was telling the little lady to take off her shoes while in the kitchen. I have 6 children (2 girls and 4 boys). I was brought here by a whim, actually. The Lord answered my prayers after telling him I need to find a community of like-minded people. I came from Joplin, MO, and I attend the Wildwood Southern Baptist Church, but I want to study more about the Lord. I used to be a horrible man who had lust and shame in his heart for all things bad (black women, starbucks) but now I want to learn from you Rightful People how to become closer to Him!

Lest you get the wrong impression, we are not a helpline here. All the answers you need are in the 1611 King James Bible. If you can't be bothered to read the Bible, then we can't be bothered to do the hard work for you.

That being said, I do wonder what sorts of mistakes you made with your daughter that she might turn out like this? Have you sent her off to public schools? Have you allowed her to listen to the "rap musics"? Perhaps your parents or grandparents offended the Lord in some way (or your wife's did)? Maybe great-grandparents? Remember, sometimes God gets downright ornery and decides to punish the great-great-grandchildren of someone who disappointed Him:

5Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

So if we do the math here (sorry, this is somewhat of an inside-joke, since I am a scientist, after all), we see that there are:

(2) parents
(4) grandparents
(8) great-grandparents
(16) great-great-grandparents

= 30 total possible people that may have sinned at some point in their lives and not been forgiven. And let's not forget that sometimes God gets a little antsy and might decide to jump across a family branch or two, so if there is a funny uncle or a mysterious aunt, they could be the guilty party as well. I suggest that at the next family reunion you have that you start asking some questions: who pissed off God?

[Brother Helge]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

And let's not forget that sometimes God gets a little antsy and might decide to jump across a family branch or two, so if there is a funny uncle or a mysterious aunt, they could be the guilty party as well. I suggest that at the next family reunion you have that you start asking some questions: who pissed off God?

Yeah, if you have any bastards in your family (ten generations back) that may be the problem.

God really hates bastards!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

A cautious hello to you, Mr. Slim Jim. I must confess I'm a mite concerned about your username, as it's the popular term for a car thief's tool. The last time I was in Joplin, somebody broke into The Faith Mobile and stole my public address system, a bottle of Knob Creek, and my entire collection of inspirational CDs, including one autographed by Amy Grant.

That wasn't you, was it?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello fellow Christians!

Hi, Jim. You seem to be afflicted by a wrong Bible.

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

King James Bible only, please.

Hopefully you will nip it in the bud before she becomes uncontrollable as the penalty under God's law is quite severe.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Obviously your priority is to sons which is why God rarely mentions daughters except with regard to their virginity before marriage.

Needless to say, you can't actually kill her because we are commanded to follow secular laws. At the very least shunning her and treating her as if she were dead would have to suffice.