Yellowfish's own introduction thread

[yellowfish]

High 1st time poster here, Praise Jesus I found this site. Last week I was a sinner now I am saved, jesus came to me in the form of a vission, on my way home from my weekly sin fest (No more of that) I stumbled and found myself face up outside the church.
An Angel apeared lifted me from the Gutter and said "Jesus Christ" then he put his hand on me and cast out my Demons by saying "GO, Get out for CHRISTS sake"
This morning I awoke with a large Bruise on my temple and a feeling of lightness instead of my normal hangover, even now I can feel my body adjusting to being free of its sin.
Anyway, I have come here as this is where Google took me when I prayed for fellowship. Praise Jesus, I know my pain is Christ given and I am saved.
(Do I still have to read the bible or will this site suffice? I don't read well)

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

High 1st time poster here, Praise Jesus I found this site. Last week I was a sinner now I am saved, jesus came to me in the form of a vission, on my way home from my weekly sin fest (No more of that) I stumbled and found myself face up outside the church.
An Angel apeared lifted me from the Gutter and said "Jesus Christ" then he put his hand on me and cast out my Demons by saying "GO, Get out for CHRISTS sake"
This morning I awoke with a large Bruise on my temple and a feeling of lightness instead of my normal hangover, even now I can feel my body adjusting to being free of its sin.
Anyway, I have come here as this is where Google took me when I prayed for fellowship. Praise Jesus, I know my pain is Christ given and I am saved.
(Do I still have to read the bible or will this site suffice? I don't read well)

It's a shame you were smitten with retardedness but, yes, the Bible is totally necessary. Some drug induced hallucination is not a sound basis for a belief system. Only the divinely inspired word of God dictated in person by God into the minds of countless authors will do.

[yellowfish]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

I am not UNSAVED TRASH, I believe everything that is in the Bible.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

I am not UNSAVED TRASH, I believe everything that is in the Bible.

You are unsaved trash until you have visibly been washed in the blood of Christ.

So, tell me, seeing as you believe everything in the Bible. What should a man who has raped an unbetrothed virgin do in recompense?

Answer quickly.

[yellowfish]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

You are unsaved trash until you have visibly been washed in the blood of Christ.

So, tell me, seeing as you believe everything in the Bible. What should a man who has raped a virgin in the field do in recompense?

Answer quickly.

Well, I would say he should say sorry and find jesus. But I suppose he should probably go to jail as well, though if he knows Jesus he obviously would not need to. Also I think he should look after her and compensate the farmer.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

Well, I would say he should say sorry and find jesus. But I suppose he should probably go to jail as well, though if he knows Jesus he obviously would not need to. Also I think he should look after her and compensate the farmer.

Nope. You see, this is what happens when people don't have an unquestionable and divine moral compass.

Deuteronomy 22:18-19
28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

You were kind of close except about the bit with the jail.

OK how about if you discover that a "maiden" was not actually a virgin on her wedding night. What should happen to the "maiden?"

[yellowfish]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

Nope. You see, this is what happens when people don't have an unquestionable and divine moral compass.

Deuteronomy 22:18-19
28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

You were kind of close except about the bit with the jail.

OK how about if you discover that a "maiden" was not actually a virgin on her wedding night. What should happen to the "maiden?"

Ok, I am seeing this now, you should find the man who de maidened her and demand 50 sheckles, (Or Euros here) and then probably take her back to her Father and ask for her younger sister if possible. Also maybe you should kill her? Not sure about that as it is going to get you in trouble and jesus said we should not kill.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

Ok, I am seeing this now, you should find the man who de maidened her and demand 50 sheckles, (Or Euros here) and then probably take her back to her Father and ask for her younger sister if possible. Also maybe you should kill her? Not sure about that as it is going to get you in trouble and jesus said we should not kill.

Nope. You see you really should go and read the Bible you say you believe in. She should be stoned to death.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21
13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

This is why it is vitally important that maidens don't go horse riding just in case they can't produce a proper bedsheet on their wedding night.

Go and read the Bible instead of making stuff up as you go along, friend.

Also, as for Jesus saying we should not kill...

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

[yellowfish]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

Nope. You see you really should go and read the Bible you say you believe in. She should be stoned to death.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21
13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

This is why it is vitally important that maidens don't go horse riding just in case they can't produce a proper bedsheet on their wedding night.

Go and read the Bible instead of making stuff up as you go along, friend.

Also, as for Jesus saying we should not kill...

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

I can see that I am only at the beggining of a long Godly journey, I have already recieved my first inspired warning here.
Luckily today is st paddys day so we are going to go to town, I will instruct my wife to buy some Bibles for the Family and I am Going to make us all get right with Jesus.
Thankfully I only have a male heir and he hates horses or any form of sport, jesus has trully blessed me without my even asking. I will read the Bible (Or at least my wife will and tell me about it) After we see the holy parade. Then I will be right and I hope worthy.
Talk to you all again very soon, praise jesus.
I will use this great day to warn others about the Donkey riding in the parade today, many Girls are being put in danger of losing their hymen, I WILL tell their fathers of the danger. (My 1st chance to witnes, this is truly a inspired discussion.)
Speak to you later, I will report back on my succes in stopping the girls getting on the donkeys.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

I can see that I am only at the beggining of a long Godly journey, I have already recieved my first inspired warning here.
Luckily today is st paddys day so we are going to go to town, I will instruct my wife to buy some Bibles for the Family and I am Going to make us all get right with Jesus.
Thankfully I only have a male heir and he hates horses or any form of sport, jesus has trully blessed me without my even asking. I will read the Bible (Or at least my wife will and tell me about it) After we see the holy parade. Then I will be right and I hope worthy.
Talk to you all again very soon, praise jesus.
I will use this great day to warn others about the Donkey riding in the parade today, many Girls are being put in danger of losing their hymen, I WILL tell their fathers of the danger. (My 1st chance to witnes, this is truly a inspired discussion.)
Speak to you later, I will report back on my succes in stopping the girls getting on the donkeys.

Glory! Already the wisdom of the Lord finds fertile ground. I forecast a steep learning curve as you find out just how entrenched God-hating attitudes are in the young ladies of today and their fathers but persecution for our beliefs is what we expect and find blessings for.

King James Bible, please, if you are going to buy one.

Also I'm a little worried you may be a Catholic. I used to be a Catholic and it was a lucky escape, let me tell you!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

(Or at least my wife will and tell me about it)

No way, pal!

That kinda God mockery won't work on God's friendliest website

1Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

You read the Bible (KJV1611): every Holy page!

All the best.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Yellowfish's own introduction thread

Redeemed Papist, it has truly been a privilege watching you give Yellowfish his first real education in Biblical decision-making.

I'm in danger of becoming emotional here.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Yellowfish's own introduction thread

Redeemed Papist, it has truly been a privilege watching you give Yellowfish his first real education in Biblical decision-making.

I'm in danger of becoming emotional here.

And the upshot of it is that he is now going out into the world to try and save young girls' hymens from rupturing on the back of an ass rather than getting drunk and debauching the day away in that crazy Catholic dead person worship festival he would have attended only to worship Satan.

Jesus brought him here just in time.

Only a few verses of the Bible has already changed a young man's life. He will never look back.

GLORY!

[yellowfish]

Re: Hello from the Netherlands

Glory! Already the wisdom of the Lord finds fertile ground. I forecast a steep learning curve as you find out just how entrenched God-hating attitudes are in the young ladies of today and their fathers but persecution for our beliefs is what we expect and find blessings for.

King James Bible, please, if you are going to buy one.

Also I'm a little worried you may be a Catholic. I used to be a Catholic and it was a lucky escape, let me tell you!

Do not worry, I was never a Catholic, I was baptised into the Church of England and even in my previous sinfull life, even after moving here to Ireland from my Native England I would have no truck with idle worship and their potpouri.

You were wise in your forecast and I can see that Jesus has blessed you, sadly my 1st attempt at witnessing did not go well, but you can be sure many people heard the name of the lord. The Donkey owner was a member of the Traveling community and would rather make money than hear Gods word (he was a catholic) Many Children were Queing when I found them and I am proud to say many fathers took heed of my ( Gods obviously) words and took their wives and children away!! Praise Jesus.
However the Donkey owner and his family were Deaf to the lord and chose instead to speak in foul Gaylic to eachother, I was badly manhandled and then before a crowd of drunken sinners, (And I tremble still) Keel Hauled under the devils Beasts.

For all my cries of Jesus and my exhortations for them to turn from their child breaking ways, I was dragged trouserless and with all my dignity in tatters repeatedly under those beasts of deflowerment.
I am proud to say they stopped when in my final throws of abatement I was able to make contact with the final Donkey, (a large male) Jesus made my mouth like a limpit and for all their fowl kicks and curses and the donkeys shrieks and lacerating flails, I was able to cling on to its fowl parts untill even the crowd was silenced.
As I left them I could see that many were moved by my christ blessed dignity and the crowd parted before me! I imagine the donkey suffered worse as I took a large part with me.

You may spit upon me ! you may curse in your foul Gaylick! but the lord has shown today that you keel haul a man of christ at your beasts peril!!

Sadly my wife has dissapeared with my Bibles so I am unable to find Gods word on my tribulations, but if the cry of Jesus has power and can be heard even through a full mouth, many people will look at their behaviour this day!

I must rest now, the hospital were brusque and called the police, so I fear I may yet have to bare more of my witnessing in court. I feel that the Lord wants me to tread a hard path untill I am truly knowledgable in his ways. Amen.

[yellowfish]

Re: Yellowfish's own introduction thread

No way, pal!

That kinda God mockery won't work on God's friendliest website

1Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

You read the Bible (KJV1611): every Holy page!

All the best.
Posted via Mobile Device

Can you get them on Tape? I doubt I will be able to read anything that is long, it tends to give me a headache and drys my tounge.
Praise Jesus