Greetings LBC!

[Jebediah Brimstone]

My name is Jebediah Brimstone. I am 56 years old and a Baptist preacher from the Twin Cities. I HATE liberals, gay marriage activists, women's rights activists (cause they're pro-aborts), Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mooslims, Hinduists, Shintoists, Daoists, Hairy Krishnas, and Atheists! I love the Old Testament and would tithe if I had a credit card or PayPal account!

So, let me in as the newest member of your staff, OK?

GLORY HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!

[Captain James T. Kirk]

Re: Greetings LBC!

I've got close to a hundred more posts than this jerk. Can I be an admin please?

[JennyD]

Re: Greetings LBC!

My name is Jebediah Brimstone. I am 56 years old and a Baptist preacher from the Twin Cities. I HATE liberals, gay marriage activists, women's rights activists (cause they're pro-aborts), Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mooslims, Hinduists, Shintoists, Daoists, Hairy Krishnas, and Atheists! I love the Old Testament and would tithe if I had a credit card or PayPal account!

So, let me in as the newest member of your staff, OK?

GLORY HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!

A man who truly loved God would know that:

• Abortion is Biblically correct
• Catholics (the real Pagans) are the worst of all
• There are other ways to tithe, such as check or money order, or debit card via PayPal

Finally, Unsaved Trolls are not promoted to Pastor; a full Department of Faith investigation must be undertaken simply to be labeled "member"!

[Jebediah Brimstone]

Re: Greetings LBC!

A man who truly loved God would know that:

• Abortion is Biblically correct
• Catholics (the real Pagans) are the worst of all
• There are other ways to tithe, such as check or money order, or debit card via PayPal

Finally, Unsaved Trolls are not promoted to Pastor; a full Department of Faith investigation must be undertaken simply to be labeled "member"!

1. I thought you hated Baby-killers. If you're a pro-abort, REPENT OR BURN!
2. Yes, they have their problems, but they're Christians just like we are.
3. We encourage all members to give to the church, but tithing is not needed for salvation.

Then at least label me a member please. What is the investigation like, anyhow?

[Captain James T. Kirk]

Re: Greetings LBC!

2. Yes, they have their problems, but they're Christians just like we are.

LOL! Buddy, if you want to be a member of this forum you'll probably want to read it first to get an idea of how far off their beliefs you are. Hell, if you think Catholics are Christians just like they are, you're no better in their eyes than you would be if you were an atheist like me.

[JennyD]

Re: Greetings LBC!

1. I thought you hated Baby-killers. If you're a pro-abort, REPENT OR BURN!
2. Yes, they have their problems, but they're Christians just like we are.
3. We encourage all members to give to the church, but tithing is not needed for salvation.

Then at least label me a member please. What is the investigation like, anyhow?

Well, I doubt we'll need to bother. You've already failed on three counts.

1. God supports abortion. Read your Bible. You may start with Numbers 31.

2. Catholics are not Christians, they are Pagans. They worship Mary, and have adopted the Pagan pantheon, calling them Saints. They have also adopted the fish-headed mitre of the Dagon cult. They ignore God's Word in favor of the traditions of men.

3. God commands us to tithe. I assume you're a Supermarket Christian, who picks and chooses the bits of the Bible he likes, and then treats the rest like so much toilet paper?

I suggest you skip on down to the Bible in a Year section of this very Forum and start reading the Holy KJV 1611 and Get Right with Jesus! Otherwise, your fate will be sealed:

[Jebediah Brimstone]

Re: Greetings LBC!

Well, I doubt we'll need to bother. You've already failed on three counts.

1. God supports abortion. Read your Bible. You may start with Numbers 31.

Your very own One-Eyed Jack calls a Baptist non-conservative Republican a "baby-killing abortionist."

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=165936&highlight=baby+killing#post165936

ForGodsSake calls a Goth "baby-killing scum"

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=162147&highlight=baby+killing#post162147

Pastor Ezekiel says "no True Christian would ever take a pro-baby killing position"

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=104697&highlight=true+christian+baby+killing#post104697

2. Catholics are not Christians, they are Pagans. They worship Mary, and have adopted the Pagan pantheon, calling them Saints. They have also adopted the fish-headed mitre of the Dagon cult. They ignore God's Word in favor of the traditions of men.

At least they show her some respect...She obeyed God's will and even said "From this day all shall call me blessed." I guess, that's what she meant, sister.

3. God commands us to tithe. I assume you're a Supermarket Christian, who picks and chooses the bits of the Bible he likes, and then treats the rest like so much toilet paper?

Have you turned into Mor(m)ons suddenly?

I suggest you skip on down to the Bible in a Year section of this very Forum and start reading the Holy KJV 1611 and Get Right with Jesus! Otherwise, your fate will be sealed:

We do have the KJV...The NKJV written in the 20th century!

Stop saying your "thees" and "thous" and get with the times, sister!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Greetings LBC!

I love the Old Testament and would tithe if I had a credit card or PayPal account!

Did the widow who gave two mites have a credit card or PayPal account? Well, did she? As for whether tithing is necessary, take a look at this:

Malachi 3:8-9: Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye [are] cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, [even] this whole nation.

Do you seriously want God to curse you for robbing Him, or is that one of the Scripture passages that have-a-nice-day liberal "Christians" gloss over on their way to the lovey-dovey parts?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Greetings LBC!

Your very own One-Eyed Jack calls a Baptist non-conservative Republican a "baby-killing abortionist."

ForGodsSake calls a Goth "baby-killing scum"

Pastor Ezekiel says "no True Christian would ever take a pro-baby killing position"

And how then do you reconcile Numbers 31?

At least they show her some respect...She obeyed God's will and even said "From this day all shall call me blessed." I guess, that's what she meant, sister.

No! What she actually said was, "Lu:1:48: For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed."

1. to save a lot of time with our having to correct the text, please use KJV1611 - it is the inerrant Word of God - all other Bibles traduce the Word of the Lord as you see here.

The verse is always to be quoted in full

Where necessary, the context should also be shown, in full verses.

2. That is what mary said. It is not what God said. Mary is overjoyed but is not the best person to tell others what to do. She was a woman in Palestine 2000 years ago, her status was thus just below a man possessed of demons. She has no power whatsoever over the Fate or Faith of Christians. She was merely a vessel to bear Christ.

You praise the cake, not the oven.

We do have the KJV...The NKJV written in the 20th century!

Then you do not have KJV1611! I think I have said enough about which Bible is to be used.

Stop saying your "thees" and "thous" and get with the times, sister![/quote]Too much for your brain is it? This isn't going to be much of an intellectual challenge then.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Greetings LBC!

Your very own One-Eyed Jack calls a Baptist non-conservative Republican a "baby-killing abortionist."

ForGodsSake calls a Goth "baby-killing scum"

Pastor Ezekiel says "no True Christian would ever take a pro-baby killing position"

And how then, as Unsaved, do you reconcile Numbers 31? Is God wrong? (hint, He is not)

At least they show her some respect...She obeyed God's will and even said "From this day all shall call me blessed." I guess, that's what she meant, sister.

No! What she actually said was, "Lu:1:48: For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed."

1. to save a lot of time with our having to correct the text, please use KJV1611 - it is the inerrant Word of God - all other Bibles traduce the Word of the Lord as you see here.

The verse is always to be quoted in full

Where necessary, the context should also be shown, in full verses.

2. That is what mary said. It is not what God said. Mary is overjoyed but is not the best person to tell others what to do. She was a woman in Palestine 2000 years ago, her status was thus just below a man possessed of demons. She has no power whatsoever over the Fate or Faith of Christians. She was merely a vessel to bear Christ.

You praise the cake, not the oven.

We do have the KJV...The NKJV written in the 20th century!

Then you do not have one, do you? I think I have said enough about which Bible is to be used.

Stop saying your "thees" and "thous" and get with the times, sister!

Too much for your brain is it? This isn't going to be much of an intellectual challenge then.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Greetings LBC!

Too much for your brain is it? This isn't going to be much of an intellectual challenge then.

Quite right. Also, the use of "thees" and "thous" shows that the language of the Holy King James Bible is more precise than that of your modern rewrites translations. The second-person pronouns in the KJV distinguish between second person singular and plural and between the nominative and objective cases, something that the all-purpose "you" in the modern perversions does not do.