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Ringsworth here but my friends call me Ringo. I trust this is the correct way to introduce myself so that I don't pick up any more infraction points.
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
No.
Tell us all about you and what filthy sin brought you to your knees in front of Jesus.Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
In ChristMatthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
Hello Mr. Spanker, and welcome to our friendly forums! We'd love to hear your testimony! How did Jesus break through your encrusted, sin-filled heart to show you His love?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
I was formerly member of the Church of Rome and became dissatisfied with the notion of the Infallibility of the Pope. He claimed that God loves atheists. Research on the Internet led me to the beacon that is the Landover Baptist Church. I apologise for posting in the wrong place. I understand the the importance of all members following the rules.Thrashing atheists in the name of the LordComment
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Hebrews 13:14 describes my worst sin
I hope to be saved from a life of sin and an eternity of damnation through the love of Christ the LordThrashing atheists in the name of the LordComment
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Hebrews13:4 (typo)
sorry
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judgeThrashing atheists in the name of the LordComment
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
What concerns me is that you were not dissatisfied with the Ctholics because of the way the Priesthood systematically rapes the young boysOriginally posted by Ringsworth Spanker View Post
Do all Mancs have such feelings?
YIC1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
That too is appalling of course and is one reason I hesitated before quite literally turning my back on that false religion. I cannot speak for all Mancs Dr Niles but I understand that Sodomy is rife in the neighbouring city of Liverpool.Thrashing atheists in the name of the LordComment
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
My father, who was in England during the war, told me of his happy days in Liverpool and how, when the Luftwaffe came over, he and his band of brothers of his unit, “The Sword of Christ” would turn their searchlights on the building site for Liverpool Catlick cathedral. This was a great success and building stopped.
My father’s work was continued by Landover who paid certain expenses to the architect of the present cathedral to ensure the roof leaked to remind the Irish of rain.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
Welcome to the forums, it is a pleasure to see you join God's Favorite Forum.
I don't mean to sound out of place but your name sounds to me like your a gay person who likes to 'spank the ring'. No offence intended it is just the way it can be construed.
I love hearing war time stories but I love hearing them with such a happy ending.Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View PostComment
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
Thank you bioggy. I can assure you of my heterosexuality. Oh yes! The Spankers are an old established family and Ringsworth is a tradition on my mother's side. It dismays me to hear these so-called homosexuals (who will burn in the fires of Hell) appropriating a fine name for their nefarious uses.Thrashing atheists in the name of the LordComment
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
I have no doubt of your heterosexuality, I was just saying how it could be misconstrued to other people.Originally posted by Ringsworth Spanker View Post
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Re: Good day fellow Christians
Well, I, for one, just love the name! I think it's just glorious to have such a wonderful testimony of salvation from the clutches of such scandalous men unto the bosom of the boy savior! Hallelujah!
I'd love to invite you to our 'Test Of Faith Bible Boot Camp' for young men who've recently changed lifestyles! The bus is tight, but I just know I can squeeze you in if I really push the deacon. In fact, I have a super idea how we can slip you into the fold! I'll just bring my double cot! There! Problem solved! With the Lord, all things are going to happen. See you next month!
Shimmering In The Sparkling Blood Of Christ,
Harry LesterSlathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,-Youth Minister Harry Lester
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