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  • I have decided to return after an extended absence.

    I see you're all still hawking Republican politics and greed completely twisting Jesus' message of charity and liberalism.

    Other than you still being completely wrong, it's nice for you all to see me again.
    Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
    For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.


  • #2
    Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

    I thought I banned you months ago. Has your master satan sent you back? Go tell him that Jesus always wins. Your kind is unwelcome here.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

      Hi Samuel,

      I think you came back here because, deep down inside, you have a spiritual thirst, and nothing else had slaked that thirst.

      Please remind me, what is your favorite Bible verse?
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Please remind me, what is your favorite Bible verse?


        Matthew 13:12
        ?

        2 Timothy 3:16

        All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

          Originally posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
          I see you're all still hawking Republican politics and greed completely twisting Jesus' message of charity and liberalism.

          Other than you still being completely wrong, it's nice for you all to see me again.
          Hi, Samuel. I have never heard of Jesus' message described as that of liberalism. Charity I can understand, to a certain degree, but liberalism? Joshua 1:7, Matthew 5:17.
          Joshua 1:6: "Bee strong, and of a good courage: for vnto this people shalt thou diuide for an inheritance the land which I sware vnto their fathers to giue them".

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

            Originally posted by Irinka the repentant jewess View Post
            Hi, Samuel. I have never heard of Jesus' message described as that of liberalism. Charity I can understand, to a certain degree, but liberalism? Joshua 1:7, Matthew 5:17.
            He's probably thinking about the wedding at Cana. No doubt this is supposed to be Jesus' own wedding and something of a celebration of cultural diversity with much quaffing and probably toadstool gelato. It is not our place to judge (he would say) especially not sodomites who no doubt he sees as providing the strippogram. All the local hookers would be there, freebies on tap and pot coming out their ears, such is the quagmire of liberal "morality"

            The fact that Jesus was NOT the first communist is demonstrated by Fact 2: that Stalin murdered His followers by the million.

            I bet he's been hanging around that "Design" woman, with the nice scarf.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

              Personally I welcome the chance to rebuke this 'man' with the Mighty Words of God.

              It is very likely that he is back because he realizes how ridiculous and absurd the prospect of denying God's Will as laid out in a strict reading of The Bible.


              Welcome back, although you and I have not met before, I have an understanding of how stupid and embarrassed you must feel. I also understand the courage it takes to swallow your pride and admit that you were a weak minded fool to ever doubt anything in in The Bible.


              I urge you to take this opportunity to be humble and drop the sass you have demonstrated in your post.

              Please see me as a resource for overcoming your shame and gaining the fortitude to address the chastisement of those who were right all along. The True Christians.

              Yours in Him
              DAM
              Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
              Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.


              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                Originally posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
                Other than you still being completely wrong, it's nice for you all to see me again.
                Can I please get the hammer back I threw at your head?
                5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                  Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post


                  Matthew 13:12
                  ?

                  I much prefer the preceding verses.

                  10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables?
                  11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

                  Jesus apparently doesn't want you to understand His words.


                  Originally posted by Irinka the repentant jewess View Post
                  Hi, Samuel. I have never heard of Jesus' message described as that of liberalism. Charity I can understand, to a certain degree, but liberalism? Joshua 1:7, Matthew 5:17.
                  Are you a messianic Jew who still believes we should follow every word of the Old Testament Law?

                  Not even the Landovers keep kosher or observe the Sabbath.

                  The Apostle Paul says we no longer have to follow the OT law.

                  Galatians 2:16,21
                  Romans 3:28

                  So which is it?

                  Originally posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai View Post
                  Personally I welcome the chance to rebuke this 'man' with the Mighty Words of God.
                  You could try.

                  Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                  Can I please get the hammer back I threw at your head?
                  I don't know what you are going to do with a rubber squeaky child's toy. I suppose that's all they let you have at your rather advanced age.
                  Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
                  For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                    Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post

                    I bet he's been hanging around that "Design" woman, with the nice scarf.
                    Um, yes. Have they taken you off your medications again, dear? More faith healing of the crazy within you?
                    Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
                    For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      I thought I banned you months ago.
                      Yet here I am. Strange that.

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      Jesus always wins.
                      See the comment above.
                      Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
                      For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                        Originally posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
                        I see you're all still hawking Republican politics and greed completely twisting Jesus' message of charity and liberalism.

                        Other than you still being completely wrong, it's nice for you all to see me again.
                        So, what did you get sent down for?
                        sigpic


                        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                        Author of such illuminating essays as,
                        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                          Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                          So, what did you get sent down for?
                          Me prison? I think not. Not all of us in the real world are constantly under investigation for misappropriation of charitable contributions, right Bathfire?
                          Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
                          For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                            Originally posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
                            I much prefer the preceding verses.

                            10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables?
                            11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

                            Jesus apparently doesn't want you to understand His words.
                            And some other stuff ending with question to demonstrate that you do not understand Jesus' words at all.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I have decided to return after an extended absence.

                              This user's name is probably an undiagnosed reference to the Finding Forrester movie. I must get my bible out now, which is a precious historical tome I removed from a Marriot in something that starts with an A, whatever is next to Disneyland in California, Anaheim, that's it, always wondered if it was German.

                              I saw a message recently babbling about dogs yapping, and I will address it by opening up MY BIBLE at random and quoting the verse that strikes me as the ONE that contains the most meaning of the moment. I will say as a preface that printed on the cover in golden letters are the words "PLACED BY THE GIDEONS" and while I don't really know who they are or how they work anyone that is spreading the word of the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY is pretty good in the little spiral notebook that my grandfather used to use to transcribe our sins as children.

                              I opened up THE BOOK of JOB, which is slightly interesting because that movie about the autistic opens tomorrow, and what do I find but notes from decades ago, made by myself.

                              I will take note now of Job, Chapter Two, Verse Six, and quote it now:

                              AND THE LORD SAID UNTO SATAN, BEHOLD, HE IS IN THINE HAND; BUT SAVE HIS LIFE.

                              As a historian, I must observe that I wrote "waht?" on the margin and circled the last word in the sentence, which was life.

                              Because I recognized my mission immediately.

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