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  • ExGay Alex
    Helping boys become upright model citizens
    True Christian™
    • May 2008
    • 1295

    #16
    Re: My Introduction

    Originally posted by Given1 View Post
    My name is Josh. I am a 21 year old guy who lives in central US. I am bi and a believer in the environmental sciences. I voted for Obama. I am a atheist mostly but I try to keep a open mind to see if something else is out there. I used to attend Wayside Calvary Chapel in Minnesota but dropped out as a teenager since I always asked too many questions and the elders did not like it. I did not get invited back. When I saw the results of prayer are 50/50, I quit believing and stopped going to church. I now sleep till noon every Sunday.
    I have been reading this forum for a while and found pages and pages of prosecutable civil rights violations and stuff I can call the police over but I figure that will not work since there are so many of you nutty backwoods types in power already.

    I came here to broaden my horizons so I am hoping we can share views and experiences and gain a little from each other in good debate ok ?

    My fav bible verse is John 21:7 it says 7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher's coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea.
    Welcome to our friendly forum!

    You say some pretty funny things. For example, you say that you "found pages and pages of prosecutable civil rights violations and stuff I can call the police over." Then you call us nutty, backwoods types.

    Here's a little tidbit I'd like to share with you. The True Christians on this forum, and even some others here (such as the lesbian hobbit who seems to have taken up residence here) are literate, educated people. We (and here I must exclude the hobbit) have read the Bible, understand its content, and live by its precepts.

    Not one True Christian here has ever misquoted the Bible.

    Moreover, not one True Christian here has intruded into your domain to "debate" you on your sinful lifestyle and to call you names.

    It is clear from your post that you simply don't know what you're talking about. You cannot "call the police," and you don't know the slightest thing about Christianity. You have your personal opinions, which--unlike mine--are not based upon any sacred text or universal law.

    You are forever separated from the eternal God as long as you continue to (figuratively) pee on Baby Jesus's face, which you do every time you sleep until noon and slurp on the turgid genitalia of another boy.

    God guided you here for a reason. The Bible teaches us that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. Further, James 5:16 tells you to confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

    I will pray for you and for God to forgive you, but you will need to confess your sins. You can do this by sending a private message to me, with a copy to Pastor Zeke, with details about your most recent bisexual encounter.
    "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

    Comment

    • val161A
      Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
      • Nov 2013
      • 79

      #17
      Re: My Introduction

      Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
      Josh, Let me welcome you to our forums. Frankly, you'll need to stick around and learn more about us in order to make an educated decision about whether or not your soul will be fed here. Don't allow Val to sway your opinion. She is trying to seduce you, but most of all, satan is trying to influence your opinion of us through her. The True Christians of Landover Baptist (I am not yet one, but through prayer, fasting, and tithing until it hurts as bad as someone pulling out the silky hairs of my womanhood one by one, I will obtain that status) are actually followers of the King James Bible, using the 1611 version hand-penned by God's secretaries as He gave them dictation. What may sound racist will have basis in scripture. What may sound harsh, well - that is also scriptural. God is not, as some think, a wimpy little weenie hiding in heaven. It takes balls to serve Him, and if you were given those precious orbs, may I offer you the chance to use them here? God will shew you His love if you will but shew Him that you completely totally, and without reservation accept every single word of His amazing guidebook, the Holy Bible. He will spread His Blood over you, and then painlessly enter you, pushing out all the evilness from your soul as He comes, first to save you, then comes again to sanctify you, then comes again to fill you with His Holy Spirit, then comes and comes and comes whenever you need His Rod and His Staff to comfort you. (Psalm 23). Yes, the LORD is merciful - but He is also a God of wrath. (2 Kings 22:13, 2 Chronicles 29:10, 2 Chronicles 30:8, and tonnes more!) We love you and will help you to see His glory, strength, and truth. NRL
      I do feel sorry for you dear lady. Your forum is obsessed with me wanting to seduce people, that I have never met, or know nothing about. In all the years I have been married to my wonderful husband I have never looked at another man OR woman, as your pastors suggest. If your looking for true fellowship my friend, Isuggest you look outside this forum, because you are not going to get it on here that is for certain.
      1 Corinthians 11:3
      But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

      Comment

      • Naomi Ruth Lamb
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Nov 2013
        • 999

        #18
        Re: My Introduction

        Val, I have found fellowship here. In fact, I have found freedom to express my faith in our LORD JESUS in a way that brings blessings to my soul. As our Lord tells us, Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty! 2 Corinthians 3:17
        1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
        Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
        Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
        Locations in 50 States and Canada
        !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
        Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
        Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

        Comment

        • Wide-Open
          Director of European Evangelical Outreach
          A Shining Example of Christ's Love
          Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2007
          • 18449

          #19
          Re: My Introduction

          Originally posted by val161A View Post
          you are not going to get it on here that is for certain.
          Indeed. Nobody is. Not in the sinful way you want it.

          Now can you leave our other members alone for a second?

          Why don't you start your own introduction thread, how you came to find Jesus, your favorite Bible verse, etc.
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

          Comment

          • val161A
            Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
            • Nov 2013
            • 79

            #20
            Re: My Introduction

            Originally posted by Wide-Open View Post
            Indeed. Nobody is. Not in the sinful way you want it.

            Now can you leave our other members alone for a second?

            Why don't you start your own introduction thread, how you came to find Jesus, your favorite Bible verse, etc.
            I did do an introduction when I first joined, and from that moment onwards got picked to pieces by your so called pastors, and then when I happened to say I am a person of restricted growth whoosh! I was called all the names under the sun, and someone showed their repulsion that a average height man should actually look at someone like me. What sort of christian forum do you call that. My God gave HIS son to die for all, and he doesnt judge us by what we look like he judges us by our hearts. Yes I know your going to quote the verse in Levicticus but that was before Jesus died. When I receive an apology for the way I have been treated on here, then I will stop posting. You then have the cheek to send me infraction notices, when you have changed my postings to read something totally different to what I have posted, especially in relation to someone who has the same medical condition as my self, who supposedly has been miraculous healed so that she is now 5ft 6". I asked her for a picture to prove it, and it was immediately changed to me wanting a NUDE photo. I said that there was no way I was in love with her, as you had said. You then changed it to I was in love with Midge Murphy. Out and out lies, something that I do not take part in as a christian. You speak to your Pastors on this forum and tell them to start telling the truth then I will stop posting.
            1 Corinthians 11:3
            But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

            Comment

            • Wide-Open
              Director of European Evangelical Outreach
              A Shining Example of Christ's Love
              Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2007
              • 18449

              #21
              Re: My Introduction

              Originally posted by val161A View Post
              Levicticus but that was before Jesus died
              OK. That's the Ten Commandments done with.

              So... everything that's in the Bible before Jesus died - which pretty much includes everything Jesus said as well - can be ignored?

              Wow.
              Psalm 81:10:
              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

              Comment

              • val161A
                Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
                • Nov 2013
                • 79

                #22
                Re: My Introduction

                Originally posted by Wide-Open View Post
                OK. That's the Ten Commandments done with.

                So... everything that's in the Bible before Jesus died - which pretty much includes everything Jesus said as well - can be ignored?

                Wow.
                Be honest Sir, you really dont know how to answer my last post do you? because you know that my posts have been changed drastically. You cannot send me infraction notices, when you yourselves are lying and changing posts. If you really were servants of God and had asked him to your lives and hearts, there is no way you would be doing these things, or treating people on here the way you do. I realise its not only me you treat so badly, I have read other responses you give to people which are horrible. I hope this forum is taken down soon.
                1 Corinthians 11:3
                But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                Comment

                • Mark L. Snyde, PhD
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Nov 2013
                  • 1284

                  #23
                  Re: My Introduction

                  Originally posted by val161A View Post
                  ...I hope this forum is taken down soon.
                  Well, at least you won't have to take this lying down:

                  Matthew 22:44 (1611 King James Bible)

                  The Lord said vnto my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, till I make thine enemies thy footstoole?
                  sigpic

                  I Kings 7:23

                  And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                  New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                  Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                  Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                  Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                  Comment

                  • val161A
                    Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
                    • Nov 2013
                    • 79

                    #24
                    Re: My Introduction

                    Originally posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post
                    Well, at least you won't have to take this lying down:
                    Sorry could you explain that remark please?
                    1 Corinthians 11:3
                    But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                    Comment

                    • Mark L. Snyde, PhD
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2013
                      • 1284

                      #25
                      Re: My Introduction

                      Originally posted by val161A View Post
                      Sorry could you explain that remark please?
                      1.) You are an enemy of Landover Baptist Church and the faithful followers of God here, as indicated by your hateful desire that we be shut down.

                      2.) God promises us that He will make our enemies into footstools for us.

                      3.) You are small enough in stature that you may remain standing and still be a viable footstool.

                      It is wonderful to see the pieces of God's plan all fitting together with His remarkable and Holy prescience.
                      sigpic

                      I Kings 7:23

                      And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                      New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                      Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                      Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                      Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                      Comment

                      • val161A
                        Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
                        • Nov 2013
                        • 79

                        #26
                        Re: My Introduction

                        Originally posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post
                        1.) You are an enemy of Landover Baptist Church and the faithful followers of God here, as indicated by your hateful desire that we be shut down.

                        2.) God promises us that He will make our enemies into footstools for us.

                        3.) You are small enough in stature that you may remain standing and still be a viable footstool.

                        It is wonderful to see the pieces of God's plan all fitting together with His remarkable and Holy prescience.
                        Once again you have make fun of my lack of size, how sad that you cannot converse without mentioning that. My friends always mention it, I wish they accepted me for the person I am, not what I look like. I think they are very very sad.
                        1 Corinthians 11:3
                        But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                        Comment

                        • val161A
                          Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
                          • Nov 2013
                          • 79

                          #27
                          Re: My Introduction

                          Originally posted by val161A View Post
                          Once again you have make fun of my lack of size, how sad that you cannot converse without mentioning that. My friends always mention it, I wish they accepted me for the person I am, not what I look like. I think they are very very sad.
                          You may not be aware that 80% of those born with the same condition as myself and Midge Murphy....achondroplasia (look it up!) are born to average height parents, so that could be YOU! I wonder if you would be quick to laugh and mock, if a child with the same condition was born into your family or that of any members of your family.
                          1 Corinthians 11:3
                          But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                          Comment

                          • Basilissa
                            South of the Border outreach program
                            True Christian™
                             
                            • Mar 2013
                            • 12997

                            #28
                            Re: My Introduction

                            Originally posted by val161A View Post
                            I did do an introduction when I first joined, and from that moment onwards got picked to pieces by your so called pastors, and then when I happened to say I am a person of restricted growth whoosh! I was called all the names under the sun, and someone showed their repulsion that a average height man should actually look at someone like me. What sort of christian forum do you call that.
                            One that follows THE HOLY BIBLE, sweetie.

                            My God gave HIS son to die for all, and he doesnt judge us by what we look like he judges us by our hearts.
                            You surely believe in some funny gods.

                            Yes I know your going to quote the verse in Levicticus but that was before Jesus died.
                            What Wide-Open said.

                            When I receive an apology for the way I have been treated on here, then I will stop posting.
                            I see that you plan to stay for a long, long, loooong time, then.

                            You then have the cheek to send me infraction notices, when you have changed my postings to read something totally different to what I have posted, especially in relation to someone who has the same medical condition as my self, who supposedly has been miraculous healed so that she is now 5ft 6". I asked her for a picture to prove it, and it was immediately changed to me wanting a NUDE photo. I said that there was no way I was in love with her, as you had said. You then changed it to I was in love with Midge Murphy. Out and out lies, something that I do not take part in as a christian. You speak to your Pastors on this forum and tell them to start telling the truth then I will stop posting.
                            Why do you contradict yourself? First you say you want her nude photo, now you say you don't... make up your mind, little woman!
                            God created fossils to test our faith.

                            * * *

                            My favorite LBC sermons:
                            True Christians are Perfect!
                            True Christian™ Love.
                            Salvation™ made Easy!
                            You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                            Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                            Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                            Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                            Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                            The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                            Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                            God HATES Rational Thinking!
                            True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                            Comment

                            • Mark L. Snyde, PhD
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Nov 2013
                              • 1284

                              #29
                              Re: My Introduction

                              Originally posted by val161A View Post
                              Once again you have make fun of my lack of size, how sad that you cannot converse without mentioning that. My friends never mention it, because they accept me for the person I am, not what I look like. I think you are very very sad.
                              How is my observation of the fact that you are already the correct size for me to rest my size 13 feet on your head in any way making fun?

                              I may be a bit blunt (or so I've been told), but I am honest as God directs. I don't believe in pussy-footing around the "elephant in the room" so to speak.

                              1 Thessalonians 4:12 (1611 King James Bible)

                              That ye may walke honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may haue lacke of nothing.
                              Your "friends" are laughing with great derision behind your back.

                              Psalms 55:21 (1611 King James Bible)

                              The words of his mouth were smoother then butter, but warre was in his heart: his words were softer then oyle, yet were they drawen swords.
                              sigpic

                              I Kings 7:23

                              And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                              New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                              Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                              Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                              Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                              Comment

                              • val161A
                                Unsaved trash, hideous joo slut
                                • Nov 2013
                                • 79

                                #30
                                Re: My Introduction

                                Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                                One that follows THE HOLY BIBLE, sweetie.



                                You surely believe in some funny gods.



                                What Wide-Open said.



                                I see that you plan to stay for a long, long, loooong time, then.



                                Why do you contradict yourself? First you say you want her nude photo, now you say you don't... make up your mind, little woman!
                                HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I NEED A NUDE PICTURE OF MIDGE MURPHY, YOUR SO CALLED PASTORAL TEAM
                                REFUSE, AND PLEASE DO NOT DENY YOU DID IT ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION. THAT WAS PURE EVIL. YOU HAVE ALSO CHANGED OTHER DEMANDS TOO, JUST TO SUIT YOURSELVES AND TO MAKE ME LOOK EVIL. I AM NOT AND NEVER HAVE BEEN INTERESTED IN ANYONE TALL. ALSO HOW CAN I BE IN LOVE IN SOMEONE I DONT EVEN KNOW. I AM IN PAIN, AND UNDERSTAND SHE IS SOMEWHERE
                                IN AMERICA.
                                1 Corinthians 11:3
                                But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                                Comment

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