I found Jesus but put him back

[ATHEIST_SCUM]

When I was a kid my parents thought that they had neglected my religious education and to make up for it they sent me to one of those brain washing Jesus camps. I came back after two weeks of mental child abuse filled with useless lies that took me many years to find the courage to undue. But thanks to Satan's greatest invention - the public library - I learned things and eventually came to understand that the bible was all made up. The truth really does set you free and freedom is sweet! While the faithful waste half their weekends asleep in church I head down to the pub for a couple of beers, a few games of pool and dream of a day when science triumphs over superstition.

My favorite bible verse is Acts 2:44-45

And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

When I was a kid my parents thought that they had neglected my religious education and to make up for it they sent me to one of those brain washing Jesus camps. I came back after two weeks of mental child abuse filled with useless lies that took me many years to find the courage to undue. But thanks to Satan's greatest invention - the public library - I learned things and eventually came to understand that the bible was all made up. The truth really does set you free and freedom is sweet! While the faithful waste half their weekends asleep in church I head down to the pub for a couple of beers, a few games of pool and dream of a day when science triumphs over superstition.

I'm guessing they used too much bleach on you.

My favorite bible verse is acts 2:44-45

And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.

The best part about Acts 2:44-45 is that it shows that True Christians™ ("all that believed") are the only decent, charitable people on earth.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[ATHEIST_SCUM]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

The best part about Acts 2:44-45 is that it shows that True Christians™ ("all that believed") are the only decent, charitable people on earth.

Acts shows that the apostles were a bunch of commies as well as decent charitable people. Christians still have a lot to learn.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

Acts shows that the apostles were a bunch of commies as well as decent charitable people.

So, let me get this straight. The Bible was all made up. All of it. Except for the 12 Disciples. In your theory, were they like the ancient Israeli version of the "Dead End Kids?" They just wandered around, and made up stories about a Jesus who also "all made up"?





Atheist Scum's Version Of The Disciples

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

When I was a kid my parents thought that they had neglected my religious education and to make up for it they sent me to one of those brain washing Jesus camps. I came back after two weeks of mental child abuse filled with useless lies that took me many years to find the courage to undue. But thanks to Satan's greatest invention - the public library - I learned things and eventually came to understand that the bible was all made up. The truth really does set you free and freedom is sweet! While the faithful waste half their weekends asleep in church I head down to the pub for a couple of beers, a few games of pool and dream of a day when science triumphs over superstition.

My favorite bible verse is Acts 2:44-45

And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.

Hello and welcome to God's friendly forum!

Please tell me what things you read at this library that convinced you that God's Holy Word is fiction. We can help you find the error in your thinking.

[ATHEIST_SCUM]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

So, let me get this straight. The Bible was all made up. All of it. Except for the 12 Disciples. In your theory, were they like the ancient Israeli version of the "Dead End Kids?" They just wandered around, and made up stories about a Jesus who also "all made up"?

Hmm...a mythical religion made up by some people i don't think exist....Oh...its some sort of circular logic thing huh? Your so clever!

Aren't christian women supposed to be proud of being dumb? You should ask your husband for a smack in the mouth.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

Friend, a True Christian™ woman is still far far smarter than any atheist man, for she chooses salvation over damnation.

Watch your tongue too, or your may find your mouth being stroked by our members.

Proverbs 18:6 (1611 King James Bible)

A fooles lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

Hmm...a mythical religion made up by some people i don't think exist....Oh...its some sort of circular logic thing huh? Your so clever!

Aren't christian women supposed to be proud of being dumb? You should ask your husband for a smack in the mouth.

Welcome friend, do you have your husbands permission to be online?

[ATHEIST_SCUM]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

Please tell me what things you read at this library that convinced you that God's Holy Word is fiction. We can help you find the error in your thinking.

I dunno...I guess it was all that burning, torturing, crusading and oppressing that really got to me first. Then there was the history of the gospels being written 400 years too late and how some rich guys arbitrarily decided which of a thousand versions would make it in the bible and the all the christian holidays being pagan anyway...you know stuff like that.

Got any pithy wisdom that will win me back to jesus?

[ATHEIST_SCUM]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

Friend, a True Christian™ woman is still far far smarter than any atheist man, for she chooses salvation over damnation.

Timothy says ... What is proper for women who professes godliness? Good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Watch your tongue too, or your may find your mouth being stroked by our members.

I like girls.

[Basilissa]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

I dunno...I guess it was all that burning, torturing, crusading and oppressing that really got to me first. Then there was the history of the gospels being written 400 years too late and how some rich guys arbitrarily decided which of a thousand versions would make it in the bible and the all the christian holidays being pagan anyway...you know stuff like that.

Got any pithy wisdom that will win me back to jesus?

Timothy says ... What is proper for women who professes godliness? Good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

I like girls.

Oh, sweetie, you think you are so smart, but guess what - Jesus doesn't like smart people:

1 Corinthians 1:19-21
19 For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
20 Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
21 For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

I dunno...I guess it was all that burning, torturing, crusading and oppressing that really got to me first. Then there was the history of the gospels being written 400 years too late and how some rich guys arbitrarily decided which of a thousand versions would make it in the bible and the all the christian holidays being pagan anyway...you know stuff like that.

Got any pithy wisdom that will win me back to jesus?

So...you're going to believe secular propagandists over God. Interesting.

The Bible is true, and it says it is true, therefore we know it is true. That's about as pithy as it gets, friend.

Timothy says ... What is proper for women who professes godliness? Good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Although you are quoting a wrong version of The Bible, this refers to the behavior of True Christian(tm) women with respect to True Christian(tm) men only. Also, Timothy may have held the pen, but God is the author.

I like girls.

What does this have to do with anything I said?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

I dunno...I guess it was all that burning, torturing, crusading and oppressing that really got to me first. Then there was the history of the gospels being written 400 years too late and how some rich guys arbitrarily decided which of a thousand versions would make it in the bible and the all the christian holidays being pagan anyway...you know stuff like that.

Got any pithy wisdom that will win me back to jesus?

Friend, I can see that you have confused the Jesus killing Romans with Christians. It is the Romans who did all that burning, torturing and testicle crushing.

When God's enemies are destroyed, it is the work of the Lord that destroys them, not the work of Christians. Our job is to love you and try our best to bring you to Jesus. It is the Lord who will judge you an unredeemed sinner and send you to Hell.

Join with us then in rejoicing over the birth of the Christ child. He was born and lived His short life in order to save you from eternal damnation. He died up on Golgotha for you, but if you fail to accept His sacrifice, your punishment will be found in the Lake of Fire.

Don't go there; it's too hot.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

I like girls.

What does quoting the title of a satanic Alice Cooper song have to do with anything?

Listen up Sunbeam, God has a plan for you. What that plan is none can tell but, at this rate, you are treading the hershy highway to hell.

[ATHEIST_SCUM]

Re: I found Jesus but put him back

Oh, sweetie, you think you are so smart, but guess what - Jesus doesn't like smart people:

Ha ha ha ha ha.....no he does not. What a fabulous bible quote!

1 Corinthians 1:19-21
19 For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
20 Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
21 For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.[/QUOTE]