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  • Snowmg new to Landover

    Hi everyone, I've only been a Baptist for about 20 years, but better late than eternity in hell, right? I was a missionary in Estonia when I was still a Mormon, but then I was healed. Since then, I have decided to stay here, spending the rest of my days in a new church we opened in the godless capital city, Talinban, as we call it.

  • #2
    Re: Snowmg new to Landover

    Hello and welcome to this Godly forum.

    I'm happy to hear that you have managed to leave both communism and mormonism behind. Glory!
    I would also like to hear what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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    • #3
      Re: Snowmg new to Landover

      And oh, I didn't see the instructions on what to post. I attend and work at Suur Peetri Toom (Big Peter's Dome) church, and I don't have a favorite verse. They are all equally beautiful. But I do tend to dwell on Leviticus 18:22 a bit, in this country at least. I didn't find Jesus, I was raised on Him. I am originally from Provo, UT.

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      • #4
        Re: Snowmg new to Landover

        Fair enough. Leviticus is truly a cornerstone of Christian moral compass.
        Feel free to look around and take part in any conversation. Just remember to back up ideas with scripture.

        Easy access to a proper American King James Version of the Bible online, you can find for example here.

        Read, hear, and study Scripture at the world's most-visited Christian website. Grow your faith with devotionals, Bible reading plans, and mobile apps.

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        • #5
          Re: Snowmg new to Landover

          Originally posted by Snowmg View Post
          I attend and work at Suur Peetri Toom (Big Peter's Dome) church, ...I didn't find Jesus, I was raised on Him. I am originally from Provo, UT.
          That church doesn't seem very, "Baptist."
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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          • #6
            Re: Snowmg new to Landover

            Welcome, Brother.

            We have seen a recent increase in visitors from Estonia. With you as the sole exception, they have all been unsaved trash who came to this site to torment Christians for sport.

            According to the other Estones, your country is filled wil sinful wretches who have rejected God and Jesus and who are just waiting to have to go on to Hell. I am happy to know there is at least one unlynched Christian in that country.

            Tell us how you found Jesus and escaped the Mormans. What did you do with your magic underwear?

            God Bless!
            God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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            • #7
              Re: Snowmg new to Landover

              I like the Estonians for their history, but now they are infested with gypsies.

              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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              • #8
                Re: Snowmg new to Landover

                Is Estonia a type of eskimo? I always get confused distinguishing the savage races.

                Anyway, it's great that you have decided to give up cannibalism and become civilized finally. Perhaps you tell the other eskimos the Good News using those weird animal noises you people make to communicate.
                If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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                • #9
                  Re: Snowmg new to Landover

                  Hello young lady! Snowmg is an odd name. Tell me, do you have a Web cam? Perhaps you could teach me to pronounce your name and I could teach you about the Bible?
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Snowmg new to Landover

                    Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
                    Is Estonia a type of eskimo? I always get confused distinguishing the savage races.

                    Anyway, it's great that you have decided to give up cannibalism and become civilized finally. Perhaps you tell the other eskimos the Good News using those weird animal noises you people make to communicate.

                    Fortunately I am not Estonian. I am American, from Provo. I don't like talking about this openly, but one of my father's wives came on to me when she saw me in my holy underwear. That is what prompted me to leave LDS and pursue greater truths, namely that of the holy baptism.

                    These Estonians are truly a godless, soulless people. Proto-human. Every five years they gather on a hill and copulate and sing together in the hundreds of thousands, drinking beer called Coq.

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