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  • JuniorChurchMan
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Mar 2014
    • 3

    #1

    Jesus is the light

    I'm currently a substitute minister at my church. I hope to soon be preaching the power of Christ full-time by the end of this year. I also sometimes exorcize spirits out of children corrupted by media like "Minecraft" and "Naruto" by request of their parents; the kids come out of the exorcisms a lot nicer and more willing to follow Christ.

    It's hard for me to decide a favorite Bible verse because that would be saying part of God's word isn't as important as the rest, which isn't true. Nice to meet you all though!
  • Zechariah Smyth
    Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
    True Christian™
    • Feb 2011
    • 15251

    #2
    Re: Jesus is the light

    Originally posted by JuniorChurchMan View Post
    I'm currently a substitute minister at my church. I hope to soon be preaching the power of Christ full-time by the end of this year. I also sometimes exorcize spirits out of children corrupted by media like "Minecraft" and "Naruto" by request of their parents; the kids come out of the exorcisms a lot nicer and more willing to follow Christ.

    It's hard for me to decide a favorite Bible verse because that would be saying part of God's word isn't as important as the rest, which isn't true. Nice to meet you all though!
    Where do you preach? How many children has your wife provided? When did Jesus first touch you?

    What do you do with the demons you cast out? Do you put them in a pig or some other available livestock?

    Yours in Christ,

    Z. Smyth
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12992

      #3
      Re: Jesus is the light

      Originally posted by JuniorChurchMan View Post
      I'm currently a substitute minister at my church. I hope to soon be preaching the power of Christ full-time by the end of this year. I also sometimes exorcize spirits out of children corrupted by media like "Minecraft" and "Naruto" by request of their parents; the kids come out of the exorcisms a lot nicer and more willing to follow Christ.

      It's hard for me to decide a favorite Bible verse because that would be saying part of God's word isn't as important as the rest, which isn't true. Nice to meet you all though!
      Welcome to the Godliest forum on the internet!

      So, when you preach to your congregation, you don't pick a few verses to tie your sermon around them, but you go through all verses! Impressive! May I ask, how long is your average sermon, then?
      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • Naomi Ruth Lamb
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Nov 2013
        • 999

        #4
        Re: Jesus is the light

        Originally posted by JuniorChurchMan View Post
        I'm currently a substitute minister at my church. I hope to soon be preaching the power of Christ full-time by the end of this year. I also sometimes exorcize spirits out of children corrupted by media like "Minecraft" and "Naruto" by request of their parents; the kids come out of the exorcisms a lot nicer and more willing to follow Christ.

        It's hard for me to decide a favorite Bible verse because that would be saying part of God's word isn't as important as the rest, which isn't true. Nice to meet you all though!
        Are you a married man? How old are you? What is it about our Lord that causes uncontrollable ecstasy to overtake you until you shout, "Oh, come, Lord Jesus?"

        I too would love to know how long your sermon is. Do you like pie?
        1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
        Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
        Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
        Locations in 50 States and Canada
        !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
        Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
        Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

        Comment

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