Good Evening

[James Ashton]

Good evening all,


Having stumbled on your corner of the internet, I felt it appropriate to introduce myself. I wouldn't dream of claiming it was divine providence that led me here (I can't imagine why God would bother Himself with me) but it is useful to me.


I don't attend a Church - never will - as a result of a combination of a (thank God!) burning in Hell grandfather and Deuteronomy 23:2. I'm hoping I've understood right that this is a forum for a Church and not itself a congregation of the Lord. If I'm wrong, I apologise.


My favourite Bible verse is Ecclesiastes 12:12-13. I'm a teacher myself and my life would be considerably easier if these rules were followed and I was under no obligation to waste my time teaching other subjects. Again, not divine providence but a way my life would be easier if all followed the Lord.


I'm here because I read elsewhere that there may be a method of me joining a congregation and I wanted to speak with the Pastors here regarding whether that was true or not.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Good Evening

How do you do, James?

If ye be Christian, you have come to the right place. We are forced to be somewhat suspicious of the English, as it is a known fact that there are few Christians in godless England, they having mostly decamped for America long ago. Still, there are a few and most come here for refuge eventually. I hope you are truly one of them and not the usual skinny, frail Englishman we have to deal with.

I do believe you are mistaken about how you got here. There must be one hundred million web sites and yet you have found yourself here. Surely, you cannot think that was some kind of accident. It was the Lord God who brought you here. It is up to you to make good use of your good fortune.

Tell us of your adventures with Jesus.

God Bless!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Good Evening

Welcome friend. Never attending Church is like refusing to hang out with Jesus. How can you expect Him to visit you if you refuse to visit Him?
Now, I do understand you are from an area of britland full of the uneducated and tiresome toothless unwashed, so I can see making some allowances. But seriously, not dropping to your knees at the feet of Christ, what kind of false Christian are you?

[James Ashton]

Re: Good Evening

Thank you for your greeting, Alvin.


It's amazing, the very first post I receive here contains wisdom. I had, rather foolishly, used science to estimate the number of websites at around thirty:


I can name all the books of the Bible, all the US States, most of the UK Counties, most of the countries of the world, and so forth. I estimate that, for any category, I average being able to name about 75% of it. I can name around twenty five websites, so it seemed sensible to assume there were around thirty.


Now, I am informed there are hundreds of millions! See how very wrong science has led me, and how effortlessly a true Christian corrects...


[hr]


And thank you for your welcome James.


I'm honestly not certain what type of false Christian I am, you would likely be I a better position to judge that than me - I didn't even realise there were different types.


If I had to guess I'd say "excluded by birth", but that really is nothing more than a guess.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Good Evening

James, Welcome
I do believe that Deuteronomy 23:2 means that a bastard such as yourself cannot hold public office, but indeed, you may attend church.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Good Evening

Hello James, my brother in search for Christ and salvation! Aren't these True Christians amazing - how kindly they welcome unsaved mongrels such as we are. I am sure our LORD led you to this site as he must have done with unworthy me.

Blessings and strength to you my friend.

Yours,

Elmer

[James Ashton]

Re: Good Evening

Indeed, Elmer. This forum, even were it to be abandoned and no new information posted, is already a treasure trove of information. While some things are obvious - God's feelings on Scotland are surely shared by all it has been so refreshing to read that our infinite God is not so exhausted by hating all the sinners of the world that He can't spare just a little hatred for insignificant specks like the Aland Islands. My only concern is that I won't be able to hate as freely and fully, that I'll wear myself out on hating witches, for example, and have nothing left to hate Candy Crush Saga


This place is so filled with information and insight on True Christianity that even the women - the women! - seem to have knowledge not known to heathens. Look at Mother of Seven's post above yours for an example.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Good Evening

Yes, James. I am a bit overwhelmed and there's so much to digest. And from now on I no longer have to be alone in my quest to understand the KJB but wiser men (and yes! women) have trodden the path easier for us. In addition to the posts you referred to I was also grateful for the thread on the demonic nature of Sweden!

With blessings!

Elmer

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Good Evening

It is good to see two young men stepping back from the atheist temptation of endless anal sex to get down with their homie Jesus (as the street kids say).

What first repelled you about the thought of sticking your thing in other men's bottoms? What repulsive vileness within you made you reach for Jesus to grasp Him firmly and seek His blessing?

We love nothing more than to hear of your journey from foul sin and debauchery here.

A tentative welcome to you both and please wander freely and absorb the true wisdom of the reality of God's love for True Christians only and fury with sin as contained in the pages of the King James Bible.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Good Evening

It is good to see two young men stepping back from the atheist temptation of endless anal sex to get down with their homie Jesus (as the street kids say).

What first repelled you about the thought of sticking your thing in other men's bottoms? What repulsive vileness within you made you reach for Jesus to grasp Him firmly and seek His blessing?

We love nothing more than to hear of your journey from foul sin and debauchery here.

A tentative welcome to you both and please wander freely and absorb the true wisdom of the reality of God's love for True Christians only and fury with sin as contained in the pages of the King James Bible.

Thank you for your kind welcome, Mr. Papist.

I discovered my vile ways by studying the KJB. The LORD spaketh to me especially through this verse: Luke 21:23 But woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck, in those days!

Yours truly,

Elmer

[James Ashton]

Re: Good Evening

Thanks for the welcome, Redeemed Papist. And a belated congratulations on that redemption. I imagine it must have been hard - I quit smoking a few years ago and I presume idolatry and molesting small children must be equally addictive. I'm glad the Lord helped you abandon all of that.


I see from your profile that you are here with me in the UK. I'm sure you'd agree that it's not an exaggeration to say we are mere inches away from having packs of feral atheists and homosexuals roaming the streets and anally raping anyone (and anything) they come across. Were it not for Michael Gove, we might already be there - but that's a different topic.


I grew up in the Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire and witnessed lazy good for nothing prole miners striking because someone had asked them to do some work for once. Again, I don't think its controversial to claim that while they stayed at home they did practically nothing that wasn't anal sex.


So, to answer your question, anal rape has always been associated in my mind with being lazy (Proverbs 13:4), coaldust covered (Isaiah 1:16) whippet owning (Revelation 22:15) miners and I, obviously, wish to be nothing like them. So I abstain.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Good Evening

A cautious welcome to you, fellow English person. I trust that you are sincerely seeking Salvation? Remember Psalm 1:1-2 and "think on, lad", as I believe they say in your part of the world.

Tell us, are you married? How many soldiers for Christ has your wife borne?

If you are still in Yorkshire, may I recommend this website as an aid to locating a suitable church? You may have to try all of them before finding one which is even half-way Godly, as they are mostly in the Leeds/Bradford area.

I see from your profile that you are here with me in the UK. I'm sure you'd agree that it's not an exaggeration to say we are mere inches away from having packs of feral atheists and homosexuals roaming the streets and anally raping anyone (and anything) they come across.

Very true. We English Christians are truly a persecuted group. Even though our dear Prime Minister has finally come forward and stated that we are a Christian Nation, I think he is expressing hope rather than reality.

YiC
AW

[James Ashton]

Re: Good Evening

Good afternoon Attila's wife.


I am indeed married, and proud father of three strapping young Soldiers. I also have...two, I think, daughters. I'm not entirely certain, it could be three.

Very true. We English Christians are truly a persecuted group. Even though our dear Prime Minister has finally come forward and stated that we are a Christian Nation, I think he is expressing hope rather than reality.

This from the Prime Minister who passed a law making gay marriage compulsory. He and I have wildly different views on the meaning of the word "Christian"

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Good Evening

This from the Prime Minister who passed a law making gay marriage compulsory. He and I have wildly different views on the meaning of the word "Christian"

You have discernment, friend. But do not forget that the Prime Minister is appointed by God to lead us according to His plan.

Perhaps even now the act of gay enabling has finally alerted him to the perils of his immortal soul and he has read his Bible. He may well even now be born again and ready to turn on the out of the closet gays and to execute them as God commands of a Christian nation.

Join us in prayer that he puts his money where his mouth is and sends a disillusioned police force to round up the sodomites for a good old fashioned public execution.

[James Ashton]

Re: Good Evening

Ah, some excellent points Redeemed Papist. I'm being too pessimistic, you're right. I shall anxiously await the house by house searches and public executions that are needed. Thinking on, I am relatively certain I saw one of my neighbours listening to a Madonna album a few weeks ago, I wonder if some sort of service will be set up where I can inform on my neighbours for such infractions.

I'm overjoyed to be given the chance to judge and be judged myself.