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  • Dorkfeather21
    Unsaved trash, obese witch
    • Jul 2013
    • 7

    #1

    Hello to everyone

    I have decided to come back and perhaps be a bit more... Polite, in my speaking with this place of Christian worship.

    So, as this is an introduction forum, allow my to introduce myself. I am Christopher. I was raised a member of the Southern Baptist community, before the church I went to was kicked out of the SBC for being too inclusive of non-Baptists.

    I am now... Well, I'm not a Wiccan, as some of you might recall. Not anymore. I have actually decided to follow in the footsteps of my uncle and become a Gnostic.
    For those unaware, Gnosticism is the teaching based on Gnosis, which is the knowledge of transcendence arrived at by interior, intuitive views.

    Any questions, my dear fellows at the Landover Baptist church?
  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #2
    Re: Hello to everyone

    Why do you insist on persecuting us and spitting in the face of Baby Jesus?
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • MaroneyBaloney
      Unsaved trash, teenaged scottish fag
      • Aug 2014
      • 52

      #3
      Re: Hello to everyone

      Nobar,
      Not every action that doesn't follow the interests of Christianity is evil, you commit the fallacy of assuming a false dichotomy. If you wanted him to change, you'd discuss with him the error of his own ways without insulting him. Tolerance and understanding will let you convert, intolerance and aggression will shun.
      2 Thess 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

      Comment

      • Dorkfeather21
        Unsaved trash, obese witch
        • Jul 2013
        • 7

        #4
        Re: Hello to everyone

        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
        Why do you insist on persecuting us and spitting in the face of Baby Jesus?
        That is a good question, but I believe I have a better one.

        On what evidence do you base these accusations?

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #5
          Re: Hello to everyone

          Originally posted by Miss Manners View Post
          Nobar,
          Not every action that doesn't follow the interests of Christianity is evil, you commit the fallacy of assuming a false dichotomy. If you wanted him to change, you'd discuss with him the error of his own ways without insulting him. Tolerance and understanding will let you convert, intolerance and aggression will shun.
          You're mistaken, friend. The Holy Bible tells us plainly that he who does not love and serve Jesus, loves and serves the devil instead (Luke 11:23). You'd know that if you knew the Holy Word of God.

          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Dorkfeather21
            Unsaved trash, obese witch
            • Jul 2013
            • 7

            #6
            Re: Hello to everyone

            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            You're mistaken, friend. The Holy Bible tells us plainly that he who does not love and serve Jesus, loves and serves the devil instead (Luke 11:23). You'd know that if you knew the Holy Word of God.

            My dear Mary, that quote actually does not say that those who do not love and serve Jesus love and serve the devil.

            Actually, if I may, I would like to point out that no one should serve Jesus. I believe one of his many points was that you are not supposed to deify Jesus, but worship his Father, from whom Jesus received his power.

            Comment

            • MaroneyBaloney
              Unsaved trash, teenaged scottish fag
              • Aug 2014
              • 52

              #7
              Re: Hello to everyone

              Here's a thought,
              What if many of the mentalities of aggression and non-acceptance were placed with the motivations of ancient ethnocentrism? America as a country has become the dominant power with increasing cooperation and acceptance of other cultures. Why can't Christians do the same, especially if America is God's chosen country?
              2 Thess 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

              Comment

              • Mary Etheldreda
                Gushing for Jesus
                 
                • Sep 2011
                • 23775

                #8
                Re: Hello to everyone

                Originally posted by Dorkfeather21 View Post
                My dear Mary, that quote actually does not say that those who do not love and serve Jesus love and serve the devil.

                Actually, if I may, I would like to point out that no one should serve Jesus. I believe one of his many points was that you are not supposed to deify Jesus, but worship his Father, from whom Jesus received his power.
                For someone who likes to argue, you'd do yourself a favor by actually familiarizing yourself with the thing against which you like to argue. For example, Jesus and the Father are one, He says so very plainly (John 10:30). He tells us that if we love Him, He will love us (John 14:21), and He will know we love Him by our unflinching obedience to his command (John 14:15), every one (James 2:10).
                Originally posted by Maroney00 View Post
                Here's a thought,
                What if many of the mentalities of aggression and non-acceptance were placed with the motivations of ancient ethnocentrism? America as a country has become the dominant power with increasing cooperation and acceptance of other cultures. Why can't Christians do the same, especially if America is God's chosen country?
                America is a dominant power because we are blessed by the LORD. This much is clear. We are blessed because we were created to be the very City on a Hill the Lord Jesus Himself speaks about (Matthew 5:14-16)

                [John Winthrop's sermon, City upon a Hill, 1630]
                Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                Comment

                • MaroneyBaloney
                  Unsaved trash, teenaged scottish fag
                  • Aug 2014
                  • 52

                  #9
                  Re: Hello to everyone

                  Actually from what I recall, Jerusalem was promised by God to be the dominant power. However, it's somewhat telling that you ignore my point on acceptance and cooperation.
                  2 Thess 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

                  Comment

                  • Dorkfeather21
                    Unsaved trash, obese witch
                    • Jul 2013
                    • 7

                    #10
                    Re: Hello to everyone

                    Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                    For someone who likes to argue, you'd do yourself a favor by actually familiarizing yourself with the thing against which you like to argue. For example, Jesus and the Father are one, He says so very plainly (John 10:30). He tells us that if we love Him, He will love us (John 14:21), and He will know we love Him by our unflinching obedience to his command (John 14:15), every one (James 2:10).
                    I have a copy of the Christian holy text right next to me. I have read it cover to cover. It was a very interesting read.

                    While Jesus did say that he and the Father are one, he followed this by stating that the Scripture reads "I have said you are gods", this directed at all those who have heard the words of the Father, meaning that in truth, all who live and follow the teachings of the Father are one with the Father.

                    The rest you have used in the proper context and I will leave alone.

                    And I must commend you on your ability to remain in the New Testament. I have known many Christians who fail in that regard.

                    Comment

                    • JustGotSaved
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Aug 2009
                      • 519

                      #11
                      Re: Hello to everyone

                      Originally posted by Dorkfeather21 View Post
                      It was a very interesting read.
                      It is not my habit to stick my head where it doesn't belong, but I would like to do so in this case. Without discussing the content of this thread, i would like to say that i've always had an unpleasant cringe reaction when people say, "it was a good read", or any variant of that.

                      "read", is a verb, is it not? (I'm not even picking on Mr Dorkfeather, it's a sort of rhetorical rant i'm going through.)

                      It's like saying, "it was a good drive," or, "it was a good walk". Wait, those examples dont help my case....

                      Well, maybe eventually i'll get used to it, but until then i have a personal armageddon-style hate at seeing it.

                      (I suppose i wont have a cow if a moderator deletes this, since it does nothing for the discussion.)
                      Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV

                      Comment

                      • Basilissa
                        South of the Border outreach program
                        True Christian™
                         
                        • Mar 2013
                        • 12975

                        #12
                        Re: Hello to everyone

                        Originally posted by Dorkfeather21 View Post
                        I have actually decided to follow in the footsteps of my uncle and become a Gnostic.
                        For those unaware, Gnosticism is the teaching based on Gnosis, which is the knowledge of transcendence arrived at by interior, intuitive views.

                        Any questions, my dear fellows at the Landover Baptist church?
                        Actually, yes. I'm not sure how familiar are you with gnosticism, but I'll assume that you know more than what you explained, so I'll ask directly - which side did you decide to bet on? The good or the bad? It must be really scary to be a gnostic, let's say that you decided to support the "good" god, you will continue to be scared all your life, because if at the end the demiurge wins, you will be punished for all of your good deeds!

                        Oh, heathens can be so funny sometimes! Thanks for being the Only Real God!

                        Originally posted by Dorkfeather21 View Post
                        And I must commend you on your ability to remain in the New Testament. I have known many Christians who fail in that regard.
                        What's wrong with citing the Old Testament, sweetie?
                        God created fossils to test our faith.

                        * * *

                        My favorite LBC sermons:
                        True Christians are Perfect!
                        True Christian™ Love.
                        Salvation™ made Easy!
                        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                        Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                        God HATES Rational Thinking!
                        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                        Comment

                        • Dorkfeather21
                          Unsaved trash, obese witch
                          • Jul 2013
                          • 7

                          #13
                          Re: Hello to everyone

                          Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                          Actually, yes. I'm not sure how familiar are you with gnosticism, but I'll assume that you know more than what you explained, so I'll ask directly - which side did you decide to bet on? The good or the bad? It must be really scary to be a gnostic, let's say that you decided to support the "good" god, you will continue to be scared all your life, because if at the end the demiurge wins, you will be punished for all of your good deeds!

                          Oh, heathens can be so funny sometimes! Thanks for being the Only Real God!

                          Well, that should be rather obvious. I have decided to follow the ideals of The One which created everything, in order to reach Gnosis and be free from the material control of the Demiurgos and his Archons.

                          Rather interesting that you say that, actually, as it is believed by the Gnostics that Jesus is not the son of the Demiurgos, but indeed a messenger sent from The One.


                          Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                          What's wrong with citing the Old Testament, sweetie?
                          Well, nothing. But when you're arguing Christian values and laws, it's best to take them from Jesus, rather than the dated laws and arguments of the Old Testament.

                          Comment

                          • Didymus Much
                            Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                            • Jun 2010
                            • 14079

                            #14
                            Re: Hello to everyone

                            Originally posted by JustGotSaved View Post
                            ...i've always had an unpleasant cringe reaction when people say, "it was a good read", or any variant of that.

                            "read", is a verb, is it not?...
                            The way Dorkfeather used it, it is a verbal noun, commonly confused for but not quite the same thing as a gerund. If you want to learn about them, click the links.

                            /pedant

                            Comment

                            • Basilissa
                              South of the Border outreach program
                              True Christian™
                               
                              • Mar 2013
                              • 12975

                              #15
                              Re: Hello to everyone

                              Originally posted by Dorkfeather21 View Post
                              Well, that should be rather obvious. I have decided to follow the ideals of The One which created everything, in order to reach Gnosis and be free from the material control of the Demiurgos and his Archons.
                              You need to do a little bit more of reading about gnosis, buddy: actually, Demiurge is the creator, not the "good" divinity (Ahura Mazda or whatever you call it).

                              Rather interesting that you say that, actually, as it is believed by the Gnostics that Jesus is not the son of the Demiurgos, but indeed a messenger sent from The One.
                              And came out of Mary's belly in form of light, and materialized outside. I know, I've read the apocrypha. Actually, I think this particular story (was it St. Thomas apocrypha gospel?) might be the culprit for the Catholics' obsession with Mary's virginity.

                              Well, nothing. But when you're arguing Christian values and laws, it's best to take them from Jesus, rather than the dated laws and arguments of the Old Testament.
                              I looked at my Bible and I haven't seen an expiration date on my OT.

                              On the contrary, I did find this verse:

                              Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

                              God created fossils to test our faith.

                              * * *

                              My favorite LBC sermons:
                              True Christians are Perfect!
                              True Christian™ Love.
                              Salvation™ made Easy!
                              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                              Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                              God HATES Rational Thinking!
                              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                              Comment

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