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  • BaptistBethany
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Feb 2014
    • 280
    #1

    I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

    Hello to the wonderful Landover Baptist members! I'm not new, but have not been here in a few months. Been busy reading my KJ Bible and praising the Lord!

    I'm taking a short break from all my reading and praising now. So I plan to read up on all the posts I've missed since I've been away.

    No need to respond to my post. Just wanted to say Hello and can't wait to read all the wonderful posts.
    Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
    Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
    ***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
    Tags: None
    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10050
      #2
      Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

      Why on Earth would you take a break from reading the Bible and praising Jesus?
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • Basilissa
          South of the Border outreach program
          True Christian™
           
          • Mar 2013
          • 12975
          #3
          Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
          Why on Earth would you take a break from reading the Bible and praising Jesus?
          I think, Brother FM, that what Sister Bethany means, is that she's taking a break from praising offline, in order to praise Him online on His favorite forum.
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
           Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

            Comment

            • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
              True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
               
              • Jul 2014
              • 8407
              #4
              Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

              As dear Sister Basilissa says, I think we all have to take a momentary break from praising Him offline, in order to praise Him here, online. At least, we women do. We are notoriously poor at multi-tasking.

              PRAISE HIM!

              Welcome back, Bethany dear.

              With fond best wishes,
              Yours in Faith
              Joanna
              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                Comment

                • Faith_Machine
                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 10050
                  #5
                  Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

                  I'm happy to say the miracle of modern mobile technology enables me to not have to make such a decision. Would you believe that as I speak these words via speech recognition, I am standing at the corner of Castro and Market Streets, witnessing to the gaywise?

                  It's really marvelous; I have my ten inch Android tablet strapped to my foreskin, so I can praise Jesus online whilst simultaneously praising Him on the streets!
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                    Comment

                    • Faith_Machine
                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 10050
                      #6
                      Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

                      Oh Heavens, that was a speech recognition/autocorrect fail! What I said was I have my ten inch Android tablet strapped to my FOREARM!

                      I don't even know how a nasty word like "foreskin" even got into my Android tablet's dictionary. It's certainly not a word I'm in the habit of saying or typing, except when discussing the Hebrews' covenant with Jehovah!
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                        Comment

                        • Jim Farmer
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2014
                          • 2293
                          #7
                          Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

                          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                          I have my ten inch Android tablet strapped to my foreskin
                          Sister Bethany may not have a foreskin to strap it to!
                          sigpic

                            Comment

                            • Jim Farmer
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2014
                              • 2293
                              #8
                              Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

                              Sorry Brother Faith, you hadn't posted your correction when I commenced posting my response. I must say, I was rather shocked, but we all know that all sorts of perverted behaviour goes in San Francisco. I figured that this was your way of penetrating the sodomites.
                              sigpic

                                Comment

                                • Faith_Machine
                                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Mar 2011
                                  • 10050
                                  #9
                                  Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

                                  Thank you brother Jim, it's very kind of you to give me the benefit of the doubt!
                                  WARNING:
                                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                    Comment

                                    • Jedediah
                                      True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                                      Fisher of Men
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Feb 2010
                                      • 6824
                                      #10
                                      Re: I'm Back and Want to Say Hello!

                                      Originally posted by BaptistBethany View Post
                                      Been busy reading my KJ Bible and praising the Lord!
                                      Time well spent. Welcome back.

                                      I Timothy 4:13
                                       Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.

                                      The only thing better than reading the Bible and praying is praising the LORD. He loves to be praised and reminded how awesome He is. To offer Him praise and worship is to please Him as if the sweet savour of burning ram fat were wafting off of our bodies.
                                      II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                                      And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                                      In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                                      Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
                                      The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                                        Comment

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